1999-2010

Monday, June 08, 2009

Defying criticism, TMZ offers new auto-erotic asphyxiation instructions


The corporate porn-pushing gossip site TMZ.com are back with more auto-asphyxiation advice this morning-- but this time with a twist.

We pointed out yesterday that the perverted deviates at the West Hollywood jealousy jacuzzi had used the bizarre death of David Carradine as an excuse to offer dangerous, step-by-step, how-to instructions in the deadly masturbation techniques.

The detail in the description made it obvious that the postings were based on firsthand experience.

This morning, shaved bronzed midget frontman Harvey Levin and his crew explain to their young readers how they can tie their hands above their heads while cheating death during a solo sex act:

"By tying his hands above his head, and bending his knees in a sitting position, he can easily stand up and untie his hands with his teeth. Choking in this position is an accident that usually results from the rope being left on the neck a few seconds too long..."

The twist? This time, Harvey attributes the kinky, and possibly deadly bedroom secrets to "Brent Turvey, a forensic scientist and criminal profiler who has studied auto-erotic asphyxiation."

Oh yes, they read TabloidBaby.com...

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