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Tuesday, July 31, 2007

John Cleese joins the cast of The Seventh Python


Comedy genius and legend John Cleese shared his reflections and hilarious insights with our pals at Frozen Pictures as he starred in today's filming for the nonfiction feature film, The Seventh Python. Cleese compared the work of the film's subject, Monty Python collaborator Neil Innes, to that of Charlie Chaplin and Steve Martin.

He said Innes' contribution to comedy and music in the past forty years is "irreplaceable."


Said executive producer Sean Connors, who was at Cleese's home office in Montecito California: "Mr. Cleese was more generous with his time and spirit than we could have asked. He made a couple of dry, hilarious comments that were so funny that we had to stop the interview because we couldn't help but laugh out loud."

"It's always great to work with a professional," said fellow producer Brett Hudson, no slouch in the comedy department himself.



The Frozen guys have been working overtime-- and coast-to-coast-- this past week. They're continuing their shoot on the Michael Lohan project in New York, and planning their next stop... London... for the final round of Seventh Python shoots.
photos 2007 © Sean Connors / Frozen Pictures all rights reserved

Monday, July 30, 2007

Dr. Ruehl remembers Tom Snyder

All of us at Tabloid Baby extend our condolences to Tom Snyder's family on the untimely passing of the great television personality and journalist who famously interviewed the likes of John Lennon, Johnny Rotten and Wendy O. Williams on his always-entertaining talk shows as well as having a ball as the anchorman of local newscasts in Los Angeles and New York.

A special shout-out goes to Michel Horowicz, the legendary television producer who worked with Tom for many years, and whom we'd always heard of, knew of and worked one degree of sepration from until last year, when we had the pleasure working with him. A great talent and guy, Mike is. A great loss is Tom.

Meanwhile, our trusted correspondent, pal, and hardest-working man in show business, Dr. Franklin Ruehl, sends us another exclusive first-person reminiscence of his encounter with a fellow television giant:
With the death of Tom Snyder, I can now reveal that I felt he gave me short shrift when I guested on his afternoon talk show on Ch.7 locally (his show was replaced shortly thereafter by Oprah). I was endeavoring to present the scientific evidence for ETs, but he allowed another guest, who was talking about Jesus being onboard a UFO, about twice as much air time.

Unfortunately, I only have this show on audio tape as I did not have a VCR at the time, and the show never sent me a copy.

Later, around 1992, when he commandeered the nighttime Tom Snyder Show, his producer indicated that I would be a guest, but that never transpired.
Thank you, Doctor! Does anyone have a copy of that infamous "Jesus on a UFO" appearance? Please send it along!

Saving Lindsay Lohan in 9 easy steps

Now that Lindsay Lohan's back in rehab (we hear she's at the Betty Ford Center), there's hope she'll get the help she needs. But is she gettng the right help? The highly-touted, big bucks Promises rehab center in Malibu didn't do the trick. One of Tabloid Baby's close pals is a licensed psychoanalyst who specializes in addictions, and has been watching the case with a learned eye.

Our anonymous expert writes us:
It must be tough now for all the Lohans. I've been following the Lindsay story on TV, and of course, it's the usual talking head nonsense, full of sound and fury and no real information re: addictions. If you speak with the dad (note: and we will), here are some of my thoughts:

1) Lindsay needs a rehab far away from LA and NYC... somewhere they've never heard of paparazzi... maybe the midwest, or perhaps somewhere on the East Coast, where her family can visit at the appropriate time. If her dad is not allowed out of NY State, perhaps somewhere upstate or on the island. But not the Hamptons-- she should be in a place where she is not treated as a celebrity; a place where she actually has to make her bed or wash floors; where the other patients are not just celebrities or debutantes, but a more mixed group. Preferably a program that is faith-based. I have two friends with two kids who got sober in different places. Although not Jewish, one kid got sober with Chabad, in a program run by Orthodox Jews. The other kid got sober with Catholic nuns.

You might wonder: "Why the religious aspect?"

Well, most addicts are pretty narcisistic and see themselves as all powerful on the one hand, while on the other hand, they feel like a piece of shit. They need to know they are neither that high nor that low, and that they are powerless over the drink or drug.

They also often feel unloved and unprotected. Experiencing an all-loving, all-powerful higher power that they can turn their problems over to is relieving. Often, their own families could not do that for them.

She's not in control of the substance. It controls her and control is a central issue for addicts.

She needs to turn it over to a higher power.

2) Finding a religious faith would give her access to a new group of people, in a church or synagogue. In order to get sober, she will need to rid herself of all her drinking and drugging buddies and find new friends.

(I know there are hyprocrites in churches and synagogues, but there are also many more actually wanting spiritual guidance.)

3) One does not get sober without changing the people, places and things (old AA adage) and that's why she needs a follow-up plan: a half-way house for awhile after rehab, followed by doing ninety and ninety (another AA phrase). She'll have to make 90 meetings in 90 days at AA or CA (or whatever substances are her problem). She'll also need to find a sponsor--one who has at least four or five years sobriety and who she calls every night.

After AA meetings, she must stick with the winners (another AA phrase, referring to befriending those members with good sobriety-- four years or more) and she should go out to coffee with them every night after meetings, instead of going out to nightclubs.

That's another reason for leaving NYC or LA: no paparazzi following her at meetings or coffee houses.

In fact, she should announce that she is retiring from show business, and begin learning to be a good enough human being. When she's got at least one year of total sobriety, perhaps she could go to college, even though she'd be older than most college kids. The New School has a good adult college program, or she could just go off to a college with a campus and younger kids. They all have AA or 12 step programs.

And she shouldn't automatically pick a theatre or film program. She should learn what really interests her and what she wants to be, not her family or agents or managers. Who knows? It might be a return to the business... but it might be medical or law school.

4) I've been following this story very closely and though I was not a fan, I found myself being drawn to see her two films released this year: Georgia Rule and I Know Who Killed Me. As a psychoanalyst, I'm always intrigued by what an actor is trying to say by his choice of film. In Georgia Rule, she plays a kid caught in the midst of family problems-- a kid who has been sexually abused, and can't say it outright because her mother can't stand to hear it and make a choice between her daughter or her husband.

I'm not saying that Lindsay was abused, but there is a high correlation between substance abuse and sexual or physical abuse. It could have been a family member, teacher, stranger, someone on the set.

Just throwing it out there as a possibility, or perhaps there is something else she feels her mother or father can't hear.

5) In I Know Who Killed Me, she plays a successful pianist who tells the piano teacher, she doesn't want to play anymore. After all, it wasn't even her idea to do it. Perhaps that's how she feels about her acting career: She didn't choose it... she was a kid... it was someone else's idea...

Perhaps instead of telling her family, she acts it out instead and kills off her career with a really bad movie, bad script, etc.

She also plays a pole dancer with a neglectful alcoholic mother, who's never there for her but remembers to show up on payday with an outstretched arm. Perhaps that's how she feels about having to support her family, especially while her father was away.

Actually, she plays two roles: twins separated at birth. Elvis Presley was a twin separated at birth (his twin was stillborn) and psychologists have written about his feeling of being only half, not whole, as the source of his addiction. By some odd chance, was Lindsay born a twin? In the movie, one twin's arm and leg are mutilated. Patients often describe themselves as feeling mutilated and some actually self-mutilate.

6) Most important, both Lindsay and her dad need to know that even the best rehab program does not cure the disease of addiction. Like cancer, it is a genetic disease that can be controlled by choosing, one day at a time, to not pick up the drink.

With cancer, a person knows their parent had it, so they eat a lot of green and yellow veggies. It lowers the risk, but doesn't guarantee one won't get sick.

With alcohol, the gene is there, in all the family members, including the little sister, but if the sister never drinks alcohol she'll never develop the disease. If she does drink she'll most likely develop it, too (though it sometimes skips a generation).

7) Lindsay's mom needs some good alcohol education and a look at her own issues around alcohol. After all, she married an alcoholic, her daughter's addicted and yet she goes drinking and partying with her, saying Lindsay's just like any young girl who wants to have fun.

NO, NO, NO!

She's not like any young girl and neither, most likely, is her other beautiful daughter! They have a genetic disorder and cannot and must not drink-- or they will ruin their lives. She needs to break her own denial, as denial is what keeps the disease going.

It is the chief alcoholic defense mechanism.

I'm sure she loves her daughters, but she needs to learn to love them in a different way. She should seek out Al-Anon (a 12-step program for family members of alcoholics) meetings and put the focus on herself. After all, she too is powerless to change the disease. All she can change is herself.

8) Although Lindsay's dad seems to be doing well in his recovery program, he has to make sure not to "pink cloud." He has not mastered the disease.

He has to just take it one day at a time and he must admit to Lindsay, himself and his whole family that he has not always been there for them. How could he be? He's an alcoholic. He's been in jail. He loves them in his own way, but his sobriety is too new. He needs to work the 12 steps, and when he gets around to the part where he makes amends to all the ones he has hurt, he will deal with his own feelings of shame. It will be painful, but it will make a better person of him.

Even if they decide never to forgive him, he will need to forgive himself.

9) Lindsay should also see a therapist who is a CAC or CAC trained (Certification of Alcohol Counseling). I was trained by CACs in NYC and I can rcommend some great people in NYC, if they would like. Lindsay, although 2l years old, acts more like a teenager, so she has issues of separation-individuation that she needs to work through and might not feel comfortable in her dad's rehab, even if it works for him. She needs to assert her own self, but that doesn't mean they are not still the parents. I'm sure there are other rehabs that will work well.

Anyway, I hope this beautiful, talented young woman can straighten herself out.

Her career should not even be a consideration at the moment.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Exclusive! Michael Lohan's Mr. Deeds goes to town


Recognize the face?

It's Michael Lohan!

On Friday, the judge in Divorce Court told him to get a job. This weekend, Lohan went to work-- panhandling in Astor Place in Manhattan.


No, he's not a bum! Lindsay's father works as a volunteer minister at the Long Island Teen Challenge Ministry. And he was taping a segment of the nonfiction video project our pals at Frozen Pictures are producing about Lohan and his life and work with Teen Challenge. With the group's pastor Jimmy Jack, Lohan disguised himself to see if people would help a down-and-out stranger. Those who helped got their money back and got a reward in return.


The segment's called "Deeds."

Stay tuned for more surprises.
all photos 2007 © Frozen Pictures all rights reserved

Exclusive! God's love rains o'er Michael Lohan

The Sunday morning rain failed to dampen Michael Lohan's enthusiasm for his nonfiction video project about his life and work with the Long Island Teen Challenge ministry.

Watch this space for more.
2007 © Frozen Pictures all rights reserved

Friday, July 27, 2007

Lohan caught between God's work & man's law



Lindsay Lohan's parents battled it out in divorce court today, each accusing the other of reneging on their 2005 separation agreement.

Bizarrely, the judge reprimanded Michael Lohan for not paying child support since he was released from prison in March-- even though the former investment banker is living in the faith-based Teen Challenge Long Island drug and alcohol treatment center, working with teenagers without pay!

Michael said later: "I work for God. For a court to put a price on helping people with drugs and alcohol is ludicrous to me."

Stay tuned.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Exclusive! Dr. Ruehl & The Weekly World News

Dr. Franklin Ruehl, cable television legend, Tabloid Baby friend and contributor, and the current hardest-working man in the television business with credits ranging from Sunset Tan to Without Prejudice, ais also one of the most diligent contributors to tabloid newspapers,writing not about celebrity but about the anomalies and bizarritudes of life on Earth and beyond.

Here, he adds his eulogy to the closing of the Weekly World News:

My Unusual Association with the Weekly World News

I owe a debt of gratitude to the Weekly World News, the controversial tabloid that is folding. I had been publishing articles in various UFO publications, such as the Canadian UFO Report (CUFOR) which was a serious chronicle devoted to this intriguing subject.

Whenever I did get an article published,I would send off copies to various members of the media trying to generate publicity for myself for my lecture and TV program that I was endeavoring to launch. I always sent a copy to an editor at the National Enquirer (I simply picked a name at random from the masthead).

To my surprise, I received a call from a reporter at the Enquirer who wanted to interview me on my latest article in the Canadian UFO Report on the scientific evidence for life existing in the Venusian atmosphere. But he worked for a different editor than the one I sent the article to. It turned out that CUFOR editor John Magor,without telling me, had sent a copy to another editor who was interested.

But when I received word that my interview had been published, i was surprised to learn that it was not in the Enquirer, but rather in the 6th issue (September 27,1979) of the Weekly World News, a publication I had not even heard of!

I learned that the the publication had been launched only a few weeks earlier as a result of the Enquirer, which had been black-and-white, switching over to color presses. But, since they still owned their own black-and-white presses, they decided to put them to use by launching the WWN, filling it with stories which did not make the cut for the Enquirer.

However, this small bit of success opened the door to me at the Enquirer, where I began to be regularly interviewed on space and other scientific matters. And, I rapidly made the transition from interviewee to interviewer, submitting story leads and transmogrifying them into articles that were being published, all on a free-lance basis. I branched out, covering medical, pop psychological, historical, and human interest stories as well as those from the realms of ufology, parapsychology, and cryptozoology.

So there will most assuredly be a vacant spot in my heart when I no longer see the WWN on newsstands announcing the latest alien contact!

May the Power of the Cosmos be with You!

Dr. Franklin Ruehl, Ph.D.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER


This is the mugshot we should be waking up to.

It's Lindsay Lohan's mother, Dina, who should be forced to face the music for failing in her parental responsibility to protect and direct her child.

The corporate porn-pushing AOL/Time-Warner website TMZ.com has its own selfish reasons (see Elvis Presley, John Lennon, John Belushi, Chris Farley Anna Nicole, etc....) for putting the "hit" on Lindsay Lohan's estranged (by those around her) father this afternoon, when the most he's done is beg those around Lindsay to help her (or to at least stop her from driving).

Were the TMZ amateur stalkerazzi the ones who were chasing Lindsay's car when she was arrested this morning?

That'll be sorted out later.

For now, it's time to arrest Lindsay's mother Dina, who partied along while her gifted, beautiful daughter was dragged to the edge of death.

And remember: While Lindsay was in "rehab," her mothe rDina was flogging a "reality" show in which she'd whore out her younger kids to the Hollywood monster.

Add on a few more charges.

... and a tip of the Tabloid Baby hat to Gallery of The Absurd...

Photos show the shameful decline of Lindsay Lohan

DADDY, HELP ME!

The next Chris Farley?

The alcohol-monitoring device on her ankle didn't do much good. Straight out of rehab and the Polaroid beach party house, Lindsay Lohan was arrested this morning for DUI, with cocaine in her pants pocket. It seems like the only person who cares about Lindsay is her father. And he's not allowed near her.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Why is TMZ getting so aggressive with celebs?

Why is TMZ, the corporate gossip and porn-pushing site, getting so aggressive, antogonistic and ugly with celebrities as it nears its premiere as a syndicated series for Fox?

Last week, the nasty AOL/Time-Warner site directed several obscenity-filled taunts toward CSI actor Gary Dourdan after a scuffle with one of the kids with cameras that TMZ hires to taunt celebrities outside nightspots. Today, its target is Matt Dillon, a veteran actor and paparazzi subject not known for scuffles with the pros:

"Matt Dillon isn't familar with how TMZ treats people who like to hit..." the site threatenes today in a post called "Dillon Pulls a Dourdan." With its usual base language, it accuses the actor of having "walked right up to a TMZ photog in New York this weekend and smacked the s**t out of his camera.

"What's he so pissed about? It was the public that had to endure 'You, Me and Dupree'!"

Whether the site's producers are looking for attention or throwing down the gauntlet to Hollywood isn't clear. What's very clear is its low-paid amateur stalkerazzi are approaching if not crossing a line with performers who are used to the lens but are apparently being egged on to react.

You can bet that the TMZ TV show won't be allowed to look or operate anything like its Internet sister.

Interesting though, how the site played the death of Tammy Faye Bakker over the weekend. While it has mocked the ecent deaths of gay and gay-related figures by posting a photo of the the purse-toting Teletubby, in this case, it played it straight in reporting the death of the gay icon.

Then again, it was the weekend and the TMZ bosses were probably in Palm Springs.

Rock on, Drew!


Yes, that's Tabloid Baby's pal, Drew Carey, stepping out of his glasses-and-suit drag, who just announced he got the gig to replace Bob Barker on The Price is Right.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

'24' gets a lesbian president

Fox's 24 gave the United States its first African American president with Dennis Haysbert. Now it's about to give us the first female president.

Broadway actress Cherry Jones will play President Allison Taylor when the show about the exploits of counterterrorism agent Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) returns for its seventh season-- and day-- in January.

In real life, Cherry is one of Broadway's leading and most outspoken lesbians. Her girlfriend is Sarah Paulsen, who played the dreary unconvincing comedienne hetero love interest on Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip.

Female president? Played by leading lesbian? With 24 creator Joel Surnow one of Hollywood's leading and most outspoken conservatives, is this a dig at Hillary Clinton or what?

Despite the evidence and suspicions, Fox's entertainment boss Peter Liguouri said today with a straight face: "It's a dramatic decision. The president is a very important piece of 24. We've had a broad array of presidents on the show; why not a female president? 24 took place in an election year in the past. How you see Joel, (co-creator) Bob (Cochran) and (fellow executive producer) Howard (Gordon) articulate drama is telling on how they deal with politics. The two are separated."

Uh huh.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

She died with her mascara on


Tammy Faye Bakker-Messner died Friday morning, while we were writing about how bad she looked Thursday night on Larry King Live.

Big Brother's sexy showdown


CBS's summer reality fling, Big Brother, has flagged in newsworthiness and sexiness compared to its counterparts around the world (most notably, the UK BB, which for a couple of seasons now has served up steady headlines of racism, sex & violence).

Until now.

In the past week, CBS's corny Chenbot BB has generated real heat. Centerfold and lad mag editors, reality spin-off pros-- even movie producers-- are paying attention to a pair of old-school pin-up contestants on opposite sides of the superhero spectrum: the unpredictable Jen Johnson (evil) and the inscrutable Daniele Donato (good-- it's her dad who's Evil. Or Evel. However he spells it.).

So far, sympathy lies with Daniele, the 20-year-old Hooters waitress from Huntington Beach, an anorexic Anna Nicole-alike whose obvious troubles are compounded by the presence of her Tommy Lee wannabe father, "Evel" Dick (a pal of former MTV headbanger Rikki Rachtmann).

Jen, a 23-year-old nanny from Beverly Hills (someone lets her watch the kids?), plays the self-obsessed, vengeful blow-up doll in what's shaping into a reality version of Dynasty-- or at least the Isaiah Washington-Patrick Dempsey tiff on the set of Grey's Anatomy.

And did anyone else notice...

...that host Julie Chen hit Jen with a politically-incorrect double-entendre insult Thursday night when she told her that she "takes the 'uni' out of 'unitard'"? Though Julie added a scripted line about Jen using the catsuit for more than one look, by taking the "uni" out of "unitard," it still means that Julie was calling Jen a "tard."

Friday, July 20, 2007

WEEKLY WORLD NEWS JOINS ELVIS!

Our pals at Gawker report that American Media has pulled the plu on the Weekly World News. The home of Batboy, Bigfoot, Elvis, Angels, fattest men, skinniest women, aliens, mermen and the whole truth and nothing but the truth has produced more than a few classic front pages, explored the sensitive subjects and has been guaranteed to raise a smile.

Jesus Christ! Poor Tammy Faye!

Tammy Faye Bakker-Messner appeared on Larry King Live last night, in such sad, shocking shape that she made Larry look good. Even with her eyeliner in place.

Tammy Faye, who went from fleecing poor and old people to pay for her lavish lifestyle to happily entertaining a new flock of gays and reality TV fans, is in the final stages of inoperable cancer and will soon be meeting God.

We had the pleasure of meeting Tammy Faye in an elevator at Caesars Palace in the middle of the night many years ago, and she was as delightfully upbeat and cheerful as she is now at 65 years old and 65 pounds. We're sure God will be as forgiving as Paris Hilton.

(FUN FACT: The criminal antics and sexual hijinks of evangelists Tammy Faye and her then husband Jim Bakker in the 1980s helped put both Nightline and A Current Affair on the map.)

NY Times gives props to the original My First Time

"Steamy reenactments!"

A groundbreaking television docudrama series gets its due today as The New York Times runs a puff piece on the new off-Broadway play based on the My First Time website.

The site is filled with porny first-person stories-- some of them true-- about first sex experiences. The play, which features people sitting on stools reciting the stories, is notable for the gimmick of having audience members fill out questionnaires about their first bonks, which are read from the stage.

Surprisingly, parenthetically-- but accurately-- the Times article mentions that My First Time was already translated to cable television-- and even more creatively-- by our pals at Frozen Pictures, when they produced 26 episodes and two seasons of the groundbreaking adult docudrama series, My First Time, for Showtime:

(A 2003 series on Showtime was based on the Web site, though it involved steamy re-enactments.)

Far from a camp theatrical gigglefest, the series featured women describing their sexual initiations, and was most definitely honest in its emotional and graphic detail. Its high-quality interpretations were sparing, yet evoked eras and locales with sensitive though unsparing sexual frankness.

No penetration, though.

Frozen's silent partner in the series was the Ruddy Morgan Organization. Albert S. Ruddy is the two-time Academy Award® winning producer (The Godfather, Million Dollar Baby) who, along with Frozen partners Burt Kearns and Brett Hudson, wrote and produced the hilarious and socially insightful Burt Reynolds sports comedy, Cloud 9.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Is this what we can expect from the TMZ TV show?

We've called occasional attention to the crass headlines and writing at TMZ.com, the Time Warner/AOL corporate gossip site that's headed by Harvey Levin and set to be turned into a syndicated Hollywood infotainment show. Headlines like these from the past 24 hours:

Paris & Pooch: Two Bitches Hang Loose!
Crow's O-Face
"Home Improvement" Star's House -- A Real S**thole
Dave Chappelle -- I'm So F**king Tired, Bitch!

Crass-- and dirty, no? But even they don't come close to today's item about an incident involving a star of the TV show CSI and one of the kids TMZ sends out with video cameras to taunt celebrities outside nightclubs. Dig this:

"CSI" Star Beats the Living Crap Out of TMZ Photog

Who knew the CS in CSI stood for c**ksucker?

Resident "CSI" douchebag Gary Dourdan pulled a Woody Harrelson last night -- unleashing a brutal, unprovoked attack on a TMZ cameraman outside of the most celeb-packed nightclub in Hollywood.


Are they serious?

We've been advising for months that Harvey and his boys had better clean up their act if they want to extend their appeal beyond their insular, decadent "Thirty Mile Zone." The cheap and racist "roboho" pun is one thing, calling someone a "douchebag" in print merely shows a lack of skill and imagination (let alone an editor), but we are truly shocked that a site that's so gaycentric would call someone a "c**ksucker."


UPDATE: TMZ has just updated its story under the headline:

"CSI" Jerkoff Wrangles Posse, Chases Injured Photog