Friday, April 18, 2008

While Gawker gawks, Harvey Levin takes 12"

We’ve been keeping an eye on the corporate porn-pushing gossip site TMZ.com for close to two years now, occasionally pausing to point out its unfairness, immorality, illiteracy, crassness, soullessness, perversity, coprophilia and generally bad and wrongheaded execution of the tabloid form— and for too long have gotten the impression that, to paraphrase the hateful TMZ, nobody gave a sh*t.

Well, gradually, the dead-horse beating seems to be paying off. Long after the great Hollywood Reporter columnist Ray Richmond lent his respected support, the New York-based Gawker.com has begun to take notice.

Thanks to recent staff turnover at the influential media site, fresh eyes viewed our criticism of TMZ’s cruel mockery of the death of American Idol good guy Elliott Yamin’s mother, and this week Gawker noticed that TMZ reported on the death of powerful celebrity Cameron Diaz's father, but "has not yet tried to make an awful joke about it.”

This morning, Gawker points out some of the more distasteful, pornographic and disgusting recent TMZ headlines— something we’ve been bringing to your attention for months now:

In addition to making fun of your mother's death and mocking people for supposedly aging prematurely, Harvey Levin's TMZ loves to write oh-so-clever sex-pun headlines. The one pictured ran with a story about Britney Spears being ordered to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars in lawyer's fees… Some more… will help you develop the vital skill of applying a dick joke to virtually any situation:

Nanny’s Folks—Rob Lowe Worked Her To The Bone
Beckham Likes It Tight and Right

Lowe’s Employees Say They’ve Never Met Lil’ Rob

You Can’t Keep Dick Down.

The timing of the post, by the way, cheated Gawker out of this morning’s crop (and this list is real):

Jenna Jameson: Shuck It, Slurp It
Godzilla to Subway: I Got Your 12” Right Here
Dita -- Where'd You Get Those F**k Me Pumps?
Finger It Like Baby Beckham
Lohan's Face Matches the Carpet
Von A-hole Picks the Gayest Fight Ever
Heidi and Spencer -- More Whoring To Come

Posh Pissed on by Kitson Owner?

Dr. Jan In the S**t for Fast Livin'

And that's just this morning. So far. The wives of TMZ’s corporate overlords, as well as AOL and Time Warner shareholders must be very proud to be associated with the site fronted by shaved bronzed midget Harvey Levin.

But there's something even more malodorous and foul that's been reeking from TMZ in recent days: the smell of feet, freed of socks, being licked.

We'll get to that later today.

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