1999-2010

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Who really "hurt" Artie Lange?


There's been no word on the condition or whereabouts of obese, slovenly, alcoholic, heroin- and cocaine-addict comic Artie Lange since he was released from the hospital last week after attempting suicide with nine stabs of a 13-inch Wolfgang Puck kitchen knife. There have been many words of denial of responsibility by his (apparently former) boss Howard Stern, who hired Lange as a stooge on his private satellite radio show and used his sad antics and drunken, drugged antics as comic fodder (Stern's most hilarious comment after the suicide try was revealed was his claim that his two choices to replace jokewriter Jackie Martling were Lange and Jimmy Kimmel, as if Lange was chosen for his comedy chops and not ridicule ripeness). Saddest of all is a YouTube clip (above) Stern has been hyping and what's left of his fans have been crowing about: a bathetic series of Lange lowpoints set to Johnny Cash's painful version of Hurt (a song Stern pushed back when he was a radio star). The 50,000 viewings attest to Stern's invisibility (ten years ago, it would have generated five million), and despite the editor's (and the Stern crew's) attempt to tie Lange's nearly-fatal self-hatred and low self-esteem to a former girlfriend, the images attest to Stern's humiliation of the fat fool as being a major factor in his decision to try and gut himself dead.

10 comments:

Robert said...

You sir are a FuckNut!

Save Artie said...

Oh really?

What's your interpretation of the video that shows Artie Lange passed out at the microphone, being rolled over int he studio, being mocked and laughed at by his "friends"?

Open your eyes, fucktard.

Your hero plunged a knife into himself.

Anonymous said...

There is something wrong with the writer of the blog. Either you don't listen to the show and know nothing of it, or you interpretation of the show, that is if you listen, is completely wrong and kind of disrespectful. Though there are a lot of people on Super Fan Network that could relate to your unkindness, cruelty and an ease at wanting to come off like a prick

Anonymous said...

your a fucking moron. Stern "invisible....ok, who else could have caused the merger of two satilite companys....and, pretty sure no one would pay to read your lame ass blog. Fuck u

Anonymous said...

You are a Fuck Nut as Robert said.. You have no clue of what the show is about and how Howard truly feels about Artie. Do you really listen to the show? I would say not, due to your lack of knowledge. Save the few brain cells you have remaining instead of burning them up on writing this shit blog!

Jen said...

Your completely uneducated rant about both Artie and Howard makes me sick. What is your problem? Howard has been nothing but caring and generous with Artie throughout his 9+ years on the show. He was doing great...thin, drug free, just finished making a film...when he started the show. His problems are his own and have nothing to do with Howard. You are an idiot and shouldn't speak about things you don't know about. You obviously have no soul or compassion. Dick.

God said...

Talk about your bad karma. I'll bet someone you love dies real soon, and you'll feel bad and nobody will care.

Anonymous said...

Tabloid Baby is right. The proof is in the Hurt video.
Artie has gone out of control and Howard has enabled him for years. You fuckwits drink the Howard Koolaid!

Anonymous said...

This author is a doucher. Artie is someone who shows that Stern is very relevant. Artie, a hardly known comic outside of the stern world, just had a NY times bestselling book. He also sells out comedy shows across America. All this while you say Stern is not relevant anymore. You are a douche.

Anonymous said...

The author is a total fucking douche as he has no idea what he is talking about. Everyone likes to blame things on Stern! Shit, the economy is Howard Stern's fault because he moved from terrestrial to Satellite radio. The Earthquake in Haiti, yep Howard Stern's fault for always pegging shitty third world countries as dangerous. Hell blame terrorism on him too for the same reason... the "logic" just goes on and on for lame scumbags who don't even listen to the show.