Exploiting Artie Lange's suicide attempt

Aside from Howard Stern's word that his radio sidekick is still in "bad shape," there's been no word on the condition of comedian Artie Lange since his release from the hospital after he plunged a 13-inch Wolfgang Puck kitchen knife nine times into his corpulent abdomen in a suicide attempt on January 2nd, but the exploitation of the bloated, drug-addicted slovenly clown has moved from the insular world of satellite radio to the national stage.

The Comedy Central network will run Lange's Jack & Coke (as in "cocaine") standup special Saturday night at 10 pm, as it had already been schedule in November, but with the disingenuous statement from a Comedy Central spokesman: "The news about Artie is tragic, but we spoke to his camp and are excited to share with his fans the genius of his stand-up act and this never-seen-before special."

Lange's "camp," of course, are the ones who allowed the sad, disheveled comic to descend to such depths of degradation and self-hatred that he attempted to take his own life. The special, however, shows Lange in May 2009, when he was fresh out of rehab and momentarily sober.

Someone in that "camp" is also keeping Lange's name in the news for reasons other than his own shame with the posting of a clip of Lange's appearance on The Late Show with Conan O'Brien in 2008, in which he predicted O'Brien's demise as host of The Tonight Show.

Meanwhile Stern, who has exploited Lange's condition for years and pushed him in the name of comedy toward the brink of hopelessness and death, told his small band of Sirius radio listeners on Tuesday that he'd spoken with Lange, and revealed how much he cares about the tortured performer when he said:

"Artie and I ran out of shit to talk about in three seconds."

Stern rejected an offer to appear as a guest on Conan O'Brien's final week on The Tonight Show, claiming it would interfere with his private Sirius satellite radio schedule, but which was obvious attempt to avoid questions about his culpability in Lange's suicide attempt as well as his effort to keep the incident covered up.

UPDATE: In a development that took more than 24 hours to get past the satellite radio wall to the general public, it's being reported that Stern told a fellow Sirius deejay that he's been approached for, and considering, a return to mainstream, free, "terrestrial" radio. The move would only confirm what this site has been predicting for some time, as Stern has vanished from public consciousness and lost hundreds of thousands of fans, as evidenced by the lack of response from Stern fans to TabloidBaby's Stern postings compared to the past and despite our boom in site traffic.

Insider blasts Howard Stern's hypocrisy in Artie Lange suicide try

"Stern's nauseating rants over his love and support for Lange have become the only entertaining part of the once-popular radio show."

-- Chaunce Hayden

We've gotten the expected backlash from the last remaining servile fans of Howard Stern who've taken umbrage and offense-- and even called us "disrespectful"-- for suggesting that the former radio star's exploitation and humiliation of the heroin- and cocaine-addicted alcoholic, obese, slovenly pathetic comedian Artie Lange-- on air, in the privacy of satellite radio and in life-- may have contributed to the the self-hatred that led the 42-year-old self-described "baby gorilla" to stab himself nine times with a 13-inch Wolfgang Puck kitchen knife in an attempt to end his sad life.

It took a few days for the morons to find our posts and blast back their indignation from their mothers' basements, but they did respond, as we knew they would, because our statements that Howard Stern is no longer an important figure in popular culture since his sellout to a miniscule paid satellite radio audience is equivalent to leaving an open trash can in raccoon country. They pick up the scent and hop in with reasoned arguments like:

"You sir are a FuckNut!"

"your a fucking moron. Stern "invisible....ok, who else could have caused the merger of two satilite companys....and, pretty sure no one would pay to read your lame ass blog. Fuck u"

"You are a Fuck Nut as Robert said.. You have no clue of what the show is about and how Howard truly feels about Artie. Do you really listen to the show? I would say not, due to your lack of knowledge. Save the few brain cells you have remaining instead of burning them up on writing this shit blog!"

"Your completely uneducated rant about both Artie and Howard makes me sick. What is your problem? Howard has been nothing but caring and generous with Artie throughout his 9+ years on the show.... His problems are his own and have nothing to do with Howard. You are an idiot and shouldn't speak about things you don't know about. You obviously have no soul or compassion. Dick."

Etc.

So it's worth noting we're not alone in suggesting that the multimillionaire Stern take some responsibility for the deterioration of his fool that took place before his very eyes. In the new issue of his New Jersey nightlife magazine Steppin' Out, Tabloid Baby pal, gossip veteran and former Stern regular (until he misspoke, offended the former king and was banished) Chaunce Hayden lays it out in an editorial titled "Stern's No Bro":

"...Lange's 350th cry for help at the unmerciful expense of his mother really isn't surprising. What is surprising is the crap his boss, Howard Stern, has been spewing since TMZ first broke the news of Artie's latest performance. Stern's nauseating rants over his love and support for Lange have become the only entertaining part of the once-popular radio show. Even though Lange has showed up for work high, fell asleep on the air, attacked co-workers and lied about his absence, Stern has vowed to stand by his bro. So, it only makes sense that the caring 56-year-old radio personality would reach out to his troubled "bro" during Lange's personal turmoil but such off-air love is far removed from any Stern reality.


"Since Lange's failed suicide attempt, Howard has neither called nor visited his faux friend. I once reported that Stern was an asshole for blowing off producer’s Gary Dell'Abate's dad’s funeral. Stern angrily fired back, blaming his absence on his fiancé, Beth Ostrosky, claiming she sprained her ankle. Just curious who Stern will blame this time…"

Who really "hurt" Artie Lange?

There's been no word on the condition or whereabouts of obese, slovenly, alcoholic, heroin- and cocaine-addict comic Artie Lange since he was released from the hospital last week after attempting suicide with nine stabs of a 13-inch Wolfgang Puck kitchen knife. There have been many words of denial of responsibility by his (apparently former) boss Howard Stern, who hired Lange as a stooge on his private satellite radio show and used his sad antics and drunken, drugged antics as comic fodder (Stern's most hilarious comment after the suicide try was revealed was his claim that his two choices to replace jokewriter Jackie Martling were Lange and Jimmy Kimmel, as if Lange was chosen for his comedy chops and not ridicule ripeness). Saddest of all is a YouTube clip (above) Stern has been hyping and what's left of his fans have been crowing about: a bathetic series of Lange lowpoints set to Johnny Cash's painful version of Hurt (a song Stern pushed back when he was a radio star). The 50,000 viewings attest to Stern's invisibility (ten years ago, it would have generated five million), and despite the editor's (and the Stern crew's) attempt to tie Lange's nearly-fatal self-hatred and low self-esteem to a former girlfriend, the images attest to Stern's humiliation of the fat fool as being a major factor in his decision to try and gut himself dead.