Friday, January 11, 2008

Carolla, unfettered! Carolla, unlistenable!

We've had a chance to listen to the new -- read "old"-- Adam Carolla radio show a few times this week. We tuned in for about forty five minutes to an a hour at a time, between 8 am and 10 am-- as a matter of fact, we're listening right now (Carolla is "interviewing" "The Deaf Frat Guy," one of the show's time-killing "characters"). This is the third incarnation of the show that replaced Howard Stern in L.A. and some other markets, beginning the season last week without second banana Danny Bonaduce, who was imposed on the show last year, boosted the ratings considerably, and was ceremoniously edged out by a jealous Carolla in December.

Based on our listenings, this third season has been all Carolla, all the time, with no guests save his inhouse lugs and regular peeps and giggles from his servile "news girl," Teresa Strasser-- former plain jane "smartypants" TV hostess and John Fugelsang attachment who's now one of Harvey Levin's drab "co-hosts" on the whitewashed syndicated television show based on the corporate porn-pushing gossip site TMZ.com.

Carolla continues his anti-art of droning on about mundane subjects, rehashing old comedy bits and stretching what would could be a fifteen second thoughts into a fifteen minute monologues. On the mornings we've listened-- and as we're listening now-- he's droned on about subjects as exciting as fixing flat tires, lame Craig's List ads, Segways and homosexuals; solipistic audience-antagonizing ramblings that are broken only by the occasional ass-kissing of his mentor (and his radio network's "comedy" consultant), Jimmy Kimmel-- as in this morning's gushing appraisal of Kimmel's appearance last night on The Tonight Show:

"I thought Kimmel was excellent!"

Carolla's monotonal nasal bray is joined by his civilian football fan sidekicks and acolytes like "Brian," who were for the most part benched in the Bonaduce era, and fawning interjections by Strasser, who reads poorly-paced news items and chirps in trying to keep up with Carolla's alleged witticisms, like a dumb girlfriend or kid sister out to prove she's up on subjects she has no understanding of or interest in. It's sad to say, but "T" can't keep up. And it shows.

If ever a show needed the brash brilliance and entertaining diversions of the quick-witted Bonaduce-- anything to throw open the blinds and lift the show away from the lint-filled navel-gazing of a radio host who thinks the object of a four-hour radio show is to fill every available second with the sound of his own voice-- it's this one. Carolla is back to square one. He and his beerbong buddies have slammed the door on the outside world and cancellation is surely on the horizon.

A funny aside to all this: two Tabloid Baby contributors found themselves banned from the new, official Carolla Show message board earlier this week-- one for posting a link to a story on this site--the other for questioning the ban. When the first commenter (we'll call here "Goodie") emailed the site administrator to complain, the following, quite colorful, exchange took place:

Goodie: why did you suspend my account?

Adamcarollafan@gmail.com: We simply do not need you cluttering up the forum with ridiculous banter which ultimately is meant to get people to tabloid baby. It didn't work on the Official board, and it won't work here.

You're clearly not interested in discussing the show, rather you want to directly (or indirectly) link to tabloid baby.

Look, I realize you have a website to pimp - but rather than covertly doing it with links to the url, it would have been a bit slicker to actually add to ongoing discussions and build some trust/respect before slapping your site address in posts.

Anyways, if you showed any interest in actually talking about the show we wouldn't have a problem.

Goodie: who the f--- are you to say i cluttered the forum?

I WAS talking about the show.

I'm not pimping anything. I'm bringing up issues that people are talking about beyond the forums.

CLUTTER? With one post?

Ridiculous banter? Discussing Teresa Strasser's image problem?

F--- you .

The link I offered was a legitimate conversation point. You're the reason why the Carolla radio show will fail because you want to keep it all in your own little ass-licking clubhouse.

You're a toadie and a f---ing fool and have no respect for free speech, the exchange of ideas or the Internet. And watch who you call a pimp, because you're nothing more than a whore for Carolla.
What's your name?

Adamcarollafan@gmail.com: Interesting reaction. Level-headed, calm response to you being wrong'd. I like it.

You're right, I'm a whore for Carolla - nothing more, nothing less. I guess I should really whore it up and start a messageboard revolving around him and his show.

Anyways, think what you want about me/us being a whore or a toadie or whatever of me. I'm not into censoring stuff, hell it's one thing that bothered me about the Official board. Give you an awesome example, I hate Dave Dameshek. Well, not hate, but strongly dislike. I think he's obnoxious, loud, and unfunny. For whatever reason(s), he was removed from the show after 1 year. He has a lot of dedicated fans that post on this board -- and while I cannot understand their appreciation of him, I realize that they exist. We have a Dave Dameshek forum. And while I personally believe that Bonaduce is one of the worst personalities in the history of radio, we have a forum for him as well --- and would openly discuss him if he hadn't been removed from the show as well.

Your link would be a legit talking point if you were a member that randomly happened across a story on a quality site - rather, you posted to simply to link to your site (after condemning the messageboard) then continued the discussion "naively").

In any case, thank you for well thought out response, I appreciate the time you took to compose it.

Goodie: f--- you you sophomoric little putz. I never condemned the message board. and its not MY SITE. I added to a thread about teresa strasser. you say youre "not into censoring stuff" yet you censor two comments on a little read thread and then cancel my account? f--- you. are you the same fool who shut down the original board? And what's your name, you nazi f---?

AdamCarollaFan@gmail com: Again, thank you for your reply.

No, not the same guy that shut down the Official board, but thanks for giving me the credit.

Anyways, sorry that we're losing such a quality contributor. But, it's a war out there and you're bound to lose some good men in the heat of battle.

Sig Heil.

We emailed AdamCarollaFan@gmail.com asking them to explain the ban and confirm the exchange. They denied sending the replies, expressed surprise at the banishments and claimed they'd been "hacked."


Anonymous said...

That idiot also deleted comments I made about my belief that Brian the sound guy is posting on those message boards under several names.

These posters posted things like:
Brian deserves a raise, Brian makes the show, Brian should speak more, Brian should be a co-host, Brian etc..

Most of the posts I made about Adam Carolla's show being worse without Danny.

The dumbest person in all this is Adam Carolla. He keeps giving this message board plugs.
And the message board keeps shutting down anyone who has an honest opinion about the show.

I'm an Adam Carolla fan who does not like the direction the show has gone this year.

Anonymous said...

The owners of the message board correctly identified one thing: You can't fix stupid. You're untrainable, and while accurate about Deaf Frat Guy, the rest should have been caught by the shit filter at the sausage factory.

Anonymous said...

Boy, that's quite a contributor you have there. Judging by the email Goodie sent, You're sure to win a Peabody in the near future.

If you actually read the message board you'll find there are plenty of dissenting opinions regarding the show and it's cast. No one is stifled for not liking something. The only reason someone is banned is for abusive behavior, or attempting to spam the board promoting a useless blog.

Anonymous said...

Tabloid Baby, unfettered! Goodie, unreadable!!!!!1111!!1!11

Anonymous said...

"If you actually read the message board you'll find there are plenty of dissenting opinions regarding the show and it's (sic) cast. No one is stifled for not liking something."

BULLSHIT. The stink around Carolla requires constant fawning ALL THE TIME. Get your ass kicked off the message board if you even suggest he's not morning material.

Anonymous said...

Would you just effing post as "Tabloid Baby" instead of hiding behind "anonymous" all the time? This is your blog - have some balls and defend it. And by the way, sounds like Goodie got exactly what he deserved.