1999-2010

Saturday, February 16, 2008

£55 million: Everybody's got something to hide


She represented herself in divorce court against his high-priced armada, and after the five-day war, The Daily Mail reports that he's agreed to pay her an astounding, record-setting £55 million. The 40 year-old one-legged NSFW porn model and alleged ex-hooker will receive a £20 million lump sum, and £2.5 million annual payments until their four-year-old daughter Beatrice reaches 18. The NSFW Heather Mills will get primary custody of the girl, though he'll have unlimited visitation rights. She will live in Britain, with a second home in Eastern Europe. And, which seems to be most important to Paul McCartney, she agreed to be bound by a confidentiality order, meaning she will never be able to speak publicly or write that book about the breakdown of the four-year marriage. Andrew Morton, opportunity knocks...

Friday, February 15, 2008

School shooting rituals: Enough already


You know, there's something that really bugs us every time we have one of these school shootings, and it's not the debate over glorifying the killer or the same old backstory about the quiet, raging, catskinning loner who everyone expected to shoot up a school one day but didn't pay any attention to. And it's not even the caravan camp of network sob sisters who all show up and set up their satellite dishes and semitrailer trucks and then point their cameras in the same direction so viewers don't have any idea of the disruption their entertainment circus has caused.

What bugs us are the prayer vigils. Every time a school gets shot up, the survivors and the rest of the students can't wait to grab some candles and gather in the dark for their moment in the media spotlight. Obviously, they're not working. Better they'd stop the praying and run out and take some political action on the issues of guns and mental health, or at least grab some picket signs and march for metal detectors.


UPDATE: John Peters, president of the University of Northern Illinois, site of yesterday's shootings, has announced that another candlelight vigil will take place at the school tonight, Friday, at 9 pm Central time.

Day 5: Not getting better


The McCartney-Mills divorce settlement hearing is set to go into extra innings, thanks to The brawl was supposed to be broken up today, but the judge has set aside more time for next week, thanks partly to her decision to represent herself against the most powerful and expensive lawyers in England. She's due to cross-examine him this morning, though she won't be allowed to bring up her claims that he used to be cruel to her and beat her and kept her apart from the things that she loved, because the judge says it's not relevant to how much he's going to pay out for his big mistake (and she certainly won't be asking about his reaction to her NSFW porno pix).

The action got started on the way into court. After he refused to sign a fan's copy of The White Album, saying "I can't sign that here," she ran over and told the guy, "You should have told him that it's his fans who made him rich and famous. You put him where he is." Then she autographed his notebook, writing: "To Joe, lots of love, Heather Mills." Now she's signing autographs.

(Meanwhile, a tip of the Tabloid Baby hat to crazy Liam Gallagher, singer with Beatles- ripping Oasis-- the world's greatest rock 'n roll band-- for getting married yesterday while Macca and Mucca rowed, giving hope that an Oasis-style divorce riot will break out in the same courts in a year or two. And no tip at all to Oasis' up-themselves management, who kept Liam and big brother Noel from The Seventh Python).

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Sorry, Jane, it's The C Word with Gordon Ramsay


Interesting how everyone got in a tizzy because batty old Jane Fonda came out with the "C Word" on The Today Show this morning, simply naming the performance piece that got her involved in a segment on The Vagina Monologues, while less than twelve hours later, chef Gordon Ramsay (who's got a BBC America show called "The F Word") uses the very same "C Word" as a gag in the opening minutes of the first airing of the "Fish & Anchor" episode in the new season of the already bleep-filled UK version of his Kitchen Nightmares (which happens to be the best- and most wittily-written series running in the USA today). Now if Hanoi Jane were Helen Mirren, maybe no one would have blinked.

End of Day 4: I'll never give you my money


The old ex-Beatle who wrote silly love songs had a loveless Valentine's Day in divorce court, locked in a "war of attrition" with the unidexter former porn model (above, with a trail of NSFW porno pictures locked by the tabloids during the marriage but leaked by the old man's team once the war began) and alleged ex-call girl who's managed a Dickensian, sociopathic rise through British society to claim the ultimate prize by wedding the grieving, coddled billionaire widower, giving birth to a competing heir, demanding his spotlight, then pulling out after four turbulent years and going for the biggest divorce settlement in history. Silly girl. Macca's mean (adj. miserly, stingy). But they're saying he's willing to peel off £30 million to "get her off my back." She wants twice that. Plus. And representing herself. Ballsy girl. The courts set aside five days for the case, but it could go for a sixth. Everything's secret for now, but if the judge imposes a settlement and either side fights it, the case could go to the appeals court where everything's public.

Buff Bagwell wrestles with reality television


World wrestling superstar and legend Buff Bagwell, renowned for the Buff Blockbuster, yellowjacket suplex, double underhook DDT, running powerslam and swinging neckbreaker, is now sipping his Coors Silver Bullets in the reality TV ring, living for the cameras under the watchful eye of Atlanta's heavyweight producer and Tabloid Baby pal Keith Walker.


The very talented (and busy) Mr. Walker-- who's also an executive producer of The Seventh Python, the new musical biopic from our pals at Frozen Pictures-- leads us to these video outtakes, and tells us that Buff is in great shape, wrestling the independent circuit through the South, and living in the wild, surreal, made-for-reality-television style of a larger-than-life all-too-human Superhero in the heart of Dixie.


Buff looks like quite the character, at least as interesting as anyone on Celebrities Rehab or Apprentice. We'd watch! You?

Dr. Ruehl's latest Realm of Bizarre News features The Amazing World of Crime & Punishment


The Realm Of Bizarre News, Episode VIII

Tabloid Baby pal, conributor and columnist Dr. Franklin Ruehl, Ph.D. says: "My latest Realm of Bizarre News is a special edition, The Amazing Realm of Crime & Punishment, which I produced as a mini-pilot as I have been pitching to truTV and others. And of course, I have a 30-minute version."

And here's this week's Top 13 Bizarre News stories:

* Bad idea! Brit David Monk, 46, decided to slide down a mountainside at the Valie di Susa ski resort in northern Italy on a RUBBER MATTRESS! He slid right into a fence and suffered massive head and chest injuries which killed him! So, if we have any skiers among our readers: Please do not try this! We cannot afford to lose even one of you!

* Good idea! The Admiral Cinema in Vienna, Austria is now allowing moviegoers to bring their pooches along with them on a monthly Doggy Day! Woof!

* Keep your pet tortoises in the fridge! That is the surprising recommendation of experts who note that these shelled critters hibernate during the cold winter. But if the temperature suddenly warms, they wake up, and can perish if the temperature again plummets. So, please, please, make room for your pet in the refrigerator even if you have to toss out some food!

Trivia Q: What is the term for a group of turtles? (Answer below)

* Barber Jim Buist, 64, up in Kalamazoo, Michigan is legally blind, yet still trims the hair of his loyal customers, some of whom he has had for 40 years! Using a combination of instinct, feel and memory of his clients' heads, he still does a remarkably good job!

* A female visitor to the Samlesbury Hall in Lancashire, England, was stunned to find that she had captured a photo of the ghost of Henry The Eighth lingering in a dark room at the manor house. This is the first report of his presence there, although his spirit has been reportedly taped at Hampton Court. Does the image really resemble the English tyrant? Look at the picture at right and judge for yourself!

* Actress Brooke Shields is terrified of seeing her image in a mirror! She avoids looking at her reflection whenever she is in a room with a mirror!

* Unborn twins dislodge mom's tumor! Michelle Stepney of London, England was diagnosed with cervical cancer while carrying twin girls, but then her oncologist discovered that their kicking had dislodged the tumor, saving her life!

* At the Scott County Circuit Court in Georgetown, Kentucky, a defendant charged with burglary began punching his defense attorney in the mouth and stomach when told by the judge that he could not change lawyers. Now, he is getting new representation. Incredibly, the walloped lawyer is not going to press assault charges against the man.

* Finally! After more than 60 years, Hitler's "lost fleet" of three submarines has been discovered resting on the bottom of the Black Sea The U-19, U-20, and U-23 had been carried overland to target Russia, but disappeared near the end of WW2, with their whereabouts a historic puzzle.

* A feisty new bride chased after a drunk driver who hit the newlyweds' car in Auckland, New Zealand, then sped off on foot. Still wearing her wedding gown, she pursued miscreant to an alley, where he finally gave up and was arrested.

* A human eyeball in a box was delivered by a special courier to a shocked guest in the middle of the night at a hotel in Hobart, Tasmania. It turned out the eye was to be implanted in a patient at a local hospital, but for a mistake in the address. Fortunately, the guest reported the eyeball immediately, and the transplant was successfully carried out a few hours later!

* Unfair! Couple found a decapitated sheep on their property in Clyde Township, Michigan and appealed to various public agencies to remove it, but all refused, telling them it is their responsibility to dispose of it-- with a fine if they don't! Unfair!

* During a heated argument, a 280-pound hubby in Hildesheim, England sat on his frail wife for two minutes, crushing her to death (her ribs suffered 18 separate fractures). He has now been sentenced to five years in prison.

Trivia answer: A group of turtles is called a "bale."

Day 4: McCartney smiles away


There were contrasting demeanors from Macca and Mucca on their way into divorce court this morning. He joked with reporters and the corners of his mouth came close to forming a real smile. Mucca sat in her Mercedes 4x4 for twenty minutes before making her way into Court 34, where his highest-paid legal team will begin taking apart her case and demands for a record-setting payout, piece by piece, whether her NSFW porn pix come into play or not.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Indiana author offers advice on Israeli baseball

Blogsite Carry On, Citizens (not sure what the name refers to, though Carry On... Up The Khyber is one of Tabloid Baby's Top 50 Movies of All Time) from Indianapolis sports personality Jeff Stanger, author of baseball-related novel Trolley Dodgers, is the latest media source to pick up on our exclusive coverage of the fall of the Israel Baseball League. Stanger makes a few points about how the league could gave stayed alive, suggests he should have been hired...

...and, after we sent a comment reminding him where credit was due, added a Tabloid Baby mention:

Israel Baseball League Folds


(Thanks to Tabloidbaby.com for the background info on this story!)

Sadly, it looks like there will be no second season for the Israel Baseball League. The Israel Association of Baseball canceled the league’s contract, effectively ending any hope of a second season. The idea was great, but the execution was lousy. The league had poor marketing (targeting American Jews and English speaking Israelis instead of native born Israelis), poor execution (bad fields, bad facilities), and a fundamental misunderstanding of grass roots marketing (look at the list of front office execs).

Starting a new baseball league in the States requires savvy marketing and shrewd businessmen. Doing it in another country requires a completely different mindset. It literally screams “Hire a successful NONPROFIT marketer/fund raiser.” The IBL (yes, Duquette and Baras, I’m calling you out) should have hired someone with nonprofit, grassroots marketing experience to run the league. Someone who has been successful in raising money for social services in a tough U.S. economy. Someone who understands web 2.0 marketing.

Someone who can sell the drama on radio & TV. Someone who is already known to baseball fans from his baseball novel(s). Someone who has board level experience with grass roots baseball organizations. Someone who has both a passion for baseball and Israel. Yep, too bad the IBL didn’t get that guy…

Carry on, Citizens!

Day 3: All you need is cash

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Exclusive! Dr. Ruehl on the Super Tuesday sham!


Tabloid Baby pal contributor and columnist Dr. Franklin Ruehl, Ph.D. is more than a music video star: he's a nuclear physicist and lecturer with a Ph.D from UCLA and his mind on even loftier matters than the music videos he's most recently starred in ("Coincidentally, I just shot another music video last night playing a janitor, and portrayed a teacher in another one last month!" the Doctor writes us this afternoon). In the thick of the political season, the Doctor turns his attention to the electoral process-- in this case Super Tuesday. (Tuesday, February 5th. Tuesday a week ago. Not yesterday's Mini Tuesday. Oh well, better late than never, we'd say):


Super Tuesday Was A Super Deception!
by Dr. Franklin Ruehl, Ph.D

It is absolutely absurd that Sen. John McCain nearly has the Republican nomination for President wrapped up based on the 21 primaries held on Super Tuesday! In only three of the primaries did he manage to exceed 50% of the vote (led by 55% in New Jersey, 52% in Connecticut, and 51% in New York). Indeed, he scored only 47% in his home state of Arizona! But because 17 of those primaries invoked a winner-take-all format, he was able to snare a majority of the delegates.

For example, McCain beat Gov. Mike Huckabee by only a mere percentage point in Missouri (33% to 32%), yet garnered all 58 of that state's delegates. Overall, McCain grabbed some 601 delegates on Super Tuesday compared to 176 for Gov. Mitt Romney and 142 for Huckabee. In order to determine what the delegate breakdown would have been in the fairer method of proportional distribution utilized in the Democratic primaries, I have recalculated the delegate numbers, based on the percentage of votes secured by each candidate.

The following chart shows that McCain and Romney would have been in a virtual tie, with McCain accruing 330 (losing 271) versus Romney's 323 (gaining 147), and Huckabee at 179 (gaining a modest 37).

Candidate Winner-take-all / Proportional
McCain 601/330
Romney 176/323
Huckabee 142/179

The totals differ slightly, as some delegates would have been assigned to other candidates, such as Ron Paul and Rudy Giuliani, but if proportional distribution had been in effect, the Republican contest would indeed be a hot race today. Of course, each party has the right to determine how to apportion votes and assign delegates, but the winner-take-all method is clearly unfair.

Had the Democrats invoked the winner-take-all approach instead of proportional distribution of delegates, Sen. Hillary Clinton would be clearly outdistancing Sen. Barack Obama, based on her winning the majority in the delegate-rich states of New York and California.

The following chart is indicative of those results:

Candidate Proportional / Winner-take-all
Clinton 739/928
Obama 679/508

For the record, I was shocked, absolutely shocked, that both Senators John Edwards and Giuliani dropped out just a week before Super Tuesday, showing they had no fighting spirit.

Both men would have been expected to pursue their quest for at least another week, considering the geographical distribution of the primaries involved and the fact that many voters would have wanted a choice other than the frontrunners. Edwards certainly would have accrued delegates based on proportional representation. While it would have been tougher for Giuliani with the winner-take-all format, he was still a viable candidate. True, he blundered in focusing on the Florida primary and taking himself out of the national picture by not actively campaigning in Iowa and New Hampshire. But considering how quickly he lost his lead, it was certainly feasible that he, too, as McCain did, could stage a comeback with several months to go before the national convention.

Now I am going out on a limb with a prediction that I have not heard anyone else make and assert that Al Gore will be the ultimate candidate for the Dems, being drafted by the party to break a deadlock between Clinton and Obama at the convention.

Gore certainly has the credentials, and winning the Nobel Prize has definitely enhanced his pedigree and kept him in the national spotlight. While he has denied having any aspirations to the Presidency, I suspect that he still dreams of it, and what better way to bring his environmental plans to fruition than as holder of that highest office.

May the Power of the Cosmos be with You!

Dr. Franklin Ruehl, Ph.D.

Thanks, Doc! Next stop: The Democrats' "Super Delegate" scam that quietly keeps the Presidential candidate-making power in the hands of the elite!

Explanation: LA Times reporter tells us why he left Jessica Hahn out of Ron Leavitt's obituary


The Los Angeles Times staff writer who filed yesterday's obituary for Married with Children creator Ron Leavitt has explained to us why he, virtually alone among other news sources, left out any mention of Leavitt's longterm mistress, Jessica Hahn.

Dennis McLellan responded to our query this morning:

"The information that was supplied to me from Leavitt's family did not mention Hahn, and only his two children were listed as survivors. Also, the information supplied to me by our librarian did not include any mention of Hahn."

Does the Times plan a correction to the story?

"No, there is nothing to correct. Normally, we only include the names of surviving family members."

The Times' obvious omission points to the short historical memory all too evident in our society, journalists' reliance on regurgitated, often incorrect "factoids," and, most glaringly, the gap in pop culture left when Howard Stern quit his vital morning radio show for a multimillion dollar deal to carry on before a miniscule, paying audience.

Those of us who listened to Stern in the Nineties recall the many conversations he'd had with Jessica and Leavitt in which both spoke of their special arrangement (Leavitt set her up with her own house).

And in the hours since our exclusive posting, current Stern listeners have slid away the manhole cover and used the Tabloid Baby site to bring the world the otherwise private conversations that took place on the pay-to-listen Stern show in the days before and after Leavitt's death, in which his relationship was discussed, though no one in mainstream pop culture got to hear:

Anonymous said:

THIS IS STRAIGHT OFF THE HOWARD STERN SHOW...
JESSICAS OWN WORDS:
JESSICA HAHN MOURNS HER BOYFRIEND

Jessica Hahn called in crying that she didn't know what to do, because her longtime boyfriend, Ron Leavitt (the creator of “Married with Children”), died unexpectedly of cancer yesterday. Howard asked Jessica if Ron was a smoker, and Jessica admitted he was, adding that a collapsed lung had been one of the ailments plaguing him. Jessica said she'd been with Ron for 16 years, and he'd taken care of her the whole time, paying her rent and eventually buying her a home. Howard told Jessica he was sorry for her loss and would be thinking of her.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wrap Up Show
Steve Grillo And Jessica Hahn Discussions. 02/11/08. 11:50am

A caller told the guys he thinks that Jessica Hahn is an attention whore and that's why she called in. Gary said that he doesn't think that's the case. He said that she thinks of them as her family and that's why she was calling in today.

Fred said he agrees with Gary about that. He said that Jessica is a genuinely nice and sweet person. He said that she's been misdirected at times but she's really a good person. Gary said that Will was looking at him weird and he doesn't believe that. Will said that it is a bizarre reaction to call a radio show when you're boyfriend dies. Fred and Gary told Will that her relationship with the show is very strong and she listens day and night because she's such a fan.

Gary said that there are people who think of the show as their family. Will said that Mariann from Brooklyn is like that. Will thinks that it's kind of exploiting the whole situation. Benjy said that would be like some kid with cancer calling the show and getting on and then living... He was talking about Will.

Jon took a call from a guy who said that Jessica's situation was very traumatic because the guy passed away so quickly. Fred said that Jessica really loved that guy and he knew that she was going to be fucked up today from that whole thing. He said that he was a stand up guy who treated her very well and they seemed to really care about each other very much.

Will said he believes that they were very close and Jessica was really upset. He said that her coming on the air was a little odd to him. He said that they didn't hear from Jim Florentine for 3 months after his girlfriend died. He had a long grieving process while Jessica didn't. The guys talked about that for a short time before they had to wrap up the show.

Why is no one suing over Israel baseball debts?



With word that Larry Baras and his Israel Baseball League took the El Al flight back to the State, leaving behind more than a million dollars in debt from their 2007 maiden season of the Israel Baseball League, the big question these days is why none of the vendors, players, businesses or other entities has filed suit against the Boston bagel baron or the IBl organization.

One person who has sued is Natalie Blacher. She's the woman who invested in Baras' "Unholey Bagel" invention, and claims in a federal securities fraud suit filed in Boston that Baras used her bagel-bound money to start up the IBL, and, in an echo of the IBL's former advisory board's complaints about his refusal to give an accounting of what he did with the money:

"The Plaintiff... invested $275,000 in SJR (Foods, Inc.) from September 1999 to October 2000... During 2006 and 2007 it became increasingly difficult for Plaintiff to obtain information from Baras and SJR about the financial condition of SJR... The balance sheet provided by Defendants in May 2007 indicated that as of November 31, 2006, SJR had a negative net worth of $1.5 million, despite the representations of Baras in March 2007 that SJR had a total debt of $400,000.... Furthermore, balance sheets for previous years showed sizable increases in SJR's debt which could not be explained or reconciled. The Plaintiff believes that Baras may have charged SJR substantial amounts for personal living expenses or for expenses which were properly chargeable to other business entities.

"...After the Plaintiff became aware of the Defendant Baras' involvement in the Israeli Baseball League, and said that she was concerned about her investment as a result, Baras represented that his involvement was very limited. All of these statements were false and/or misleading..."

Baras' attorney recently filed a motion to have the case dismissed. The papers posted here make up Blacher's objection to the motion. Baras claims the statute of limitations has run out on her claims. Blacher's attorneys say the clock didn't start ticking until she discovered the fraud. Baras' teams have until the end of the week to respond.

Based on Our Man Elli in Israel's exclusive coverage, we'd venture that the IBl clock started ticking about six months ago. Go to our new Baseball in Israel archive site to see extra large, very readable versions of the complete 10-page response.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Day 2: Macca's handlers tell him to smile


Poor old Paul McCartney put on a happier face for the second day of the planned five-day divorce hearing that will separate him from some amount of cash to finally get rid of the one-legged former porn model and alleged call girl Heather Mills (NSFW photos of whom can be seen here on an unauthorized site that also makes use of a Sgt. Pepper's parody).

While he brought the UK's most powerful legal team, she showed up with the young personal trainer Macca had once suspected she'd "hopped" into bed with. So even though his demeanor was a far cry from the sad faces he pulled coming out of court yesterday, even in a smile the sagging old Beatle still can't manage to make the corners of his mouth turn up.

Heavens! Dr. Ruehl stars in another music video


Tabloid Baby pal contributor and columnist Dr. Franklin Ruehl, Ph.D. is proving to be hipper than Herbie Hancock at the Grammys. Days after we told you about his starring appearance in Sara Bareilles' Top 20 MTV video, Love Song, we learn that the Doctor is also starring in Patent Pending, the video from indie rock duo, Heavens. The doctor appears as a talk show host who demonstrates his famed straw-through-the-potato experiment (it's too amazing to be called a "trick")-- speaking in Farsi!-- and, around the 3:35 mark, does some fancy dancing , as well. A limited vinyl pressing (950 hand numbered copies) of Patent Pending is now available through Heavens' MySpace page. And bookmark this page so you don't miss the latest installment in Dr. Ruehl's weekly video column, The Realm of Bizarre News.

Insult Comic Dog addresses The Leno Issue

Comedy puppet Triumph The Insult Comic Dog, appearing at the WGA East Awards show in NYC Saturday night, took on an issue that will linger long after the Writers Guild Strike is ended officially: passive-aggressive late night host Jay Leno's casual and callous flaunting of the WGA rules by continuing to write and use written material in his show's monologues and sketches:

"Today we had a great victory... We have an agreement that we can pretend we’re happy with... We had to get an agreement today... There was too much public outcry. At the end of the day, we had to end the strike to get all the ugly writers off of YouTube.

"By the way, if you don’t like any of these jokes, I didn’t write them because of the strike. But fortunately Jay Leno was nice enough to give me some. How does he do it? He runs them by Mavis at 3 in the morning!

"...The strike rules, ha, prohibit all the writing, ho ho, by any guild member that would be performed on-air by that member, ah ha ha ha, including monologues! Oh ho ho! I can’t take it! It’s too funny! Oh ho ho ho! The strike rules!

"By the way, I want to say, you know, Jay Leno wasn’t the only one to make a mockery of these rules. All the talk show hosts did, except my man, Conan O’Brien! Conan O’Brien went out there with no material and sucked harder than ever before!

"Actually, he was pretty good, but if I say that Jeff Zucker will fire half the writing staff.

"Jimmy Kimmel also didn’t write. But Jimmy took it a step further: He didn’t write before the strike. That’s how loyal he is!"

So why did the LA Times leave Jessica Hahn out of Ron Leavitt's obit?

Leave it to the LA Times to leave the most interesting part of a man’s life out of his obituary.

Ron Leavitt, a creator of Fox’s landmark lowbrow sitcom, Married with Children, succumbed to cancer Sunday at the age of 60. The Times dutifully describes how the show’s “racy content” was attacked in the late Eighties, as were we at A Current Affair, by the likes of Jesse Helms, the Christian Right and militant housewife Terry Rakolta-- and how, like A Current Affair, Married “kept Fox in the black for five or six years." (See Tabloid Baby.)

So it’s puzzling that the Times omits any mention of Leavitt’s companion, mistress and fiancée of the past fifteen years: the Christian Right scandal girl of the time, Jessica Hahn.

Jessica burst into the tabloid spotlight when her sexual encounter with televangelist Jim Bakker led the preacher to quit two and half weeks before Married with Children’s premiere. She wound up with a recurring role on the show, as well as a few Playboy spreads.

Jessica told Larry King about Ron two years ago: “He was the first man that took a chance with me on Married With Children. Nobody would hire me for TV, not that they should… and he said. ‘Jessica, come on in and audition.’ Nobody had the balls to do that.

 And the last day of my shoot, he said,’ Jessica, come on, how about a cup of coffee, maybe some dinner,’ and he was a complete gentleman and we have been together 15 years and I have never been more in love in my life.

“I was Al Bundy's shoe groupie. And between Ron Leavitt, Hugh Hefner -- I've got to tell you something: Church is great. It's great, but I've got to tell you, I found my church here. Hugh Hefner has been nothing but a gentleman. Ron Leavitt is -- been my...
 I think someday me and Ronnie are going to marry. I really do.”

The New York Times' website has an AP obit. The second graph reads:

“Leavitt died at his home in Los Angeles, said his fiancee, the model and actress Jessica Hahn.”

The LA Times’ reads:

“Leavitt died of lung cancer Sunday at his home in Sherman Oaks, said publicist Larry Winokur.”

What would raunchy Times owner Sam Zell think of this omission? We've got an email in to the reporter. We'll let you know if he writes back.

(When we met Jessica at the height of the PTL scandal, she was very sweet-- and fascinated by our office Elvis Shrine. Click here for some nice NSFW Jessica photos.)

Monday, February 11, 2008

"Hunting Heather": The video she played in court


Heather Mills apparently played a video portraying herself as one of those hunted animals she likes to "campaign" for in today's divorce court hearing in which she's trying to skin more than a hundred million British pounds from poor old skinflint Paul McCartney for the time they were married. Too bad she turns it into comedy by scoring the video with The Batman Theme. And we'd say the bird is lucky she's not in LA; at least she's followed by a few professional photographers and not the lawless amateurs and crims with home video cameras and cellphones who get paid by that corporate porn-pushing gossip site and the other lowlife phony tabloid operations.

This five-day hearing to decide money and custody of their little girl is actually pretty amazing. He's represented by the law team that worked for Prince Charles in his split with Diana.

She's representing herself.

Incredible.

Her video is entitled "Hunting Heather."

Click here to see "F-cking Heather." NSFW!

"Where-dunnit" victim complicates homicide blog


For the past year and a week, the LA Times website has been running The Homicide Report, a blog that attempts to record every single murder that occurs in Los Angeles County (we’d thought the paper did that anyway, but we guess they don’t have space or reporters to list one or two corpses a day). Strange that Jill Leovy, the reporter who’d made the blog a a one-woman mission, either quit or was told to hand over the reins to another reporter within weeks of being featured in a Los Angeles magazine article. At least she’s probably got her book deal.

We mention it because the victim of The Case of the Corpse at the Pacific Palisades Mobil Station, the “where-dunnit” mystery we broke exclusively here, got a mention in The Homicide Report:

Yolanda Martinez, 37
Yolanda Martinez, 37, a Latina woman, was was run over by a Honda Prelude early Monday, Jan. 28, and died at 2:21 a.m. According to detectives from LAPD's West L.A. Division, her boyfriend, Carlos Guiterrez, 25, was behind the wheel., and he has been arrested on suspicion of murder. Martinez was discovered inside the backseat of the car at a gas station in Pacific Palisades. For more details about the incident, read the Los Angeles Times story.

Yolanda Martinez poses a problem for the Homicide Blog, which likes to pinpoint the locations of killings (as well as ethnicity of victims) to make a greater point. She was run over by her boyfriend somewhere between Silverlake and Pacific Palisades, and driven to the gas pumps. The suspect says he was too drunk to remember where he did poor Yolanda in.

Day 1 of 5: Macca & Mucca leave court


The 65-year-old former Beatle looked drained, while the 40-year-old former porn model and alleged prostitute was all smiles as they left London's High Court after the first day of a scheduled five-day hearing that could finally see their high-profile divorce battle resolved.

To visit Paul McCartney's website, click here.

For NSFW soft- and harder-core photos of Heather Mills, click here.

An afternoon with Roy Scheider


The man pointing is Roy Scheider, who died over the weekend, and the kid in back with the cowboy hat is Burt Kearns, the author of Tabloid Baby, during the filming of Jaws, on Martha's Vineyard in June 1974.

"We'd just graduated from high school and a bunch of us took a van up to Cape Cod, " Burt recalls. " My pal John Garofano and I took the ferry to the Vineyard and saw they were making a movie on the beach. We worked as extras on a few scenes with Richard Dreyfuss and Peter Benchley. We thought Dreyfuss looked familiar but we couldn't figure out who he was until we saw the poster outside the moviehouse in Vineyard Haven, where American Graffiti was playing. One afternoon, we hitchhiked out to Edgartown and wound up on the docks where Scheider and Dreyfuss were filming more scenes. It started to rain pretty hard, and John and I somehow wound up spending a lot of the afternoon hanging out in the dock house with Dreyfuss, Scheider and Spielberg. They were all pretty friendly. I don't know what happened to John, but it took me another 16 years to get to Hollywood and 15 more to write and produce my first major motion picture. Now I see Spielberg at the supermarket."

Sunday, February 10, 2008

We start a new site for our Israel baseball stories

IsraeliBaseball.blogspot.com
is the new Baseball in Israel archive;
stories will be posted

no earlier than 24 hours

after they break here

at TabloidBaby.com


In the six months since we posted Elli Wohlgelernter’s exposé of the Israel Baseball League’s troubled first season, causing an international scandal and accusations of sensationalism, the journeyman journalist from Jerusalem by way of New York City—known in these parts as our special correspondent, Our Man Elli in Israel-- he’s gone from pariah to prophet as the IBL’s inner turmoil exploded across the world stage, with charges of millions of dollars in unpaid debts, financial ineptitude, chicanery and fraud, a renegade band of investors, players and insiders struggled to take the IBL’s place with a league of their own, and Israel’s sports governing body making demands that are only helping to make a Summer 2008 baseball season more and more unlikely.

Meanwhile, thanks to the estimable Mr. Wohlgelernter, Tabloid Baby has become the unlikely news source and clearinghouse for information and debate, as “mainstream” news organizations like the New York Times and Jerusalem Post lag days or even weeks behind our exclusive reports.

This weekend, we realized we’ve posted somewhere around 100 IBL stories since last summer and decided to gather them all in one spot.

So now you can find them all, uninterrupted by other tabloid news and issues, at the new Baseball in Israel site at:


We’ll eventually simplify the web address and we’re still working out technical issues (and finding away to link or list the readers' comments that are as engaging and colorful as the stories), but the new site includes Israel baseball-related links, and an archive of all our stories related to baseball in Israel.

The stories will be posted on the Baseball in Israel site a minimum of 24 hours after they break here at Tabloid Baby, so you’ll still have to check in here for the latest.

Heather Mills, with her erogenous stump, remains the kind of a girl that makes the News of The World


Fleet Street's hard to beat when it comes to succinct headlines, and the latest example tops the News of The World's accusations that Heather Mills carried on a lusty three-legged sex affair with a randy film editor while she was dating old Paul McCartney. The story "on an affair that will stun the nation" is timed to throw off and discredit the bedazzled former porn model as her fight to grab a big chunk of old Macca's millions comes to a head, no pun intended, when she represents herself at the Royal Courts of Justice tomorrow. And the copy, of course, is sublime, right down to the made-up quotes:

"The one-legged ex-hooker even brazenly showed her lover Sir Paul's tender texts—before leaping into bed with Tim for marathon sex sessions...

"'Heather was insatiable between the sheets and she liked to call me her four-times-a-night guy. Our record was six.

"'Most of the time it was multiple orgasms. Heather has a very unusual erogenous zone—her stump. I used to massage one particular sensitive area of it and give her an orgasm!

"...'My friends would ask me what it was like with a woman with one leg and I'd tell them, "No different to making love to a girl with two legs".

"'I'm a fit guy but she had tremendous stamina. We'd be at it like rabbits. She was up for it anywhere too. Once she gave me a bl** j** under the desk while I was working in my editing suite. And on a holiday in South Africa we stripped and made love in the shelter of a sand dune—even though tourists were watching.'

"...Tim first met Heather on a blind date set up by a mutual friend in August 1996... At the time, Heather was already engaged to tennis organiser Marcus Stapleton— but that didn't stop her getting what she wanted. She took Tim back to the Regent's Park mews flat she shared with Marcus, who was away on business.

"Tim says: 'We lay on the bed and kissed and fondled. She wanted to have sex but I didn't think I'd be able to manage it because I was so nervous.'

They made love for the first time a few weeks later—in Marcus Stapleton's flat. 'Heather instigated it with a nice bit of oral sex then we went all the way,' says Tim.

"'There was never any awkwardness about her leg. She would take it off the same way she would a pair of slippers.'"

There's more! Check out lots of NSFW shots of Heather's past porn work here.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Batting cleanup on the Israel baseball meeting


So the big money mullahs met in New York City two Thursdays ago to decide the future of baseball in Israel, but in light of last year’s season, in which American-based businessmen set down in the Holy Land with their documentary cameras, boxes of souvenirs and imported players who couldn’t cut the mustard in the States, ignored the natives and then left town without paying their bills, who in Israel really cares whether there’s a Season Two this summer or next?

No decisions came out of the Penn Club powwow, and not even New York Timesman Murray Chass, who can be counted on to do his part for the cause by dishing up whatever promotional information he’s fed, has yet to come up with a report on Israel baseball’s Yalta (or at last Appalachin) conference (Murray’s usually late to the plate, but not this late).

The one journalist who got the lowdown on what went on behind closed doors is the same journalist who’s kept the Israel baseball saga a priority since the summer: Our Man Elli in Israel (Dig that crazy new headshot at left!). Elli Wohlgelernter spoke to many participants in the meeting despite an edict to keep him away from the truth— and despite childish mockery from one participant who should know better.

(Read to the end to find out who made that mistake).

The Lowdown

Two sides came to the meeting with separate agendas. Marvin Goldklang, the New York Yankees shareholder and former IBL advisory board member who chaired the meeting, and former IBL commissioner Dan Kurtzer (the former US ambassador to Israel and Egypt), wanted to settle up the bills left behind by Larry Baras and the IBL. Kurtzer has told IBL players that they’d be paid, and has said he wants the vendors paid as well.

The “other side,” led by Jeff Rosen, who’s heading up the most obvious successor, the Israel Professional Baseball League didn’t want to do it. In the words of one participant: “That’s easy for them to say when they’re spending other people's money.”

(Elli reports that Larry Baras and the Israel Baseball League left a debt that surpasses $1 million. The IBL raised about $1.5 million from investors—who are still demanding an accounting of where their money went.

(The estimated cost of a new season: $2.5 million to $3.2 million.)


Uncertain

The most optimistic proposal for Holy Land hardball fans was to shrink a league to four teams with an abbreviated schedule this summer. “That would help operationally and logistically,” Elli quotes a source. “But the idea was countered by arguments that it’s preferable to take an extra year to line up the ducks more impressively and professionally. And finally, to recognize that any league's long-term success will depend on its ability to attract native Israelis as fans and sponsors.”

Then there’s the Israel Association of Baseball, which governs the game and licenses any potential league. The IAB wants any successor to the Israel Baseball League to pay the $420,000 in unpaid bills the carpetbaggers left behind in Israel.

Rosen took the position that his group will not. As one summit participant told Our Man Elli, “Several people at the meeting pointed out that the Rosen’s refusal to cover at least some of the debts could hurt his efforts. There’s a perception that the IPBL is led by former IBL investors— major IBL investors— who set up a new company as way to avoid paying those debts.”

Sidestep?

Sources tell Elli that Rosen’s got people looking into the possibility of sidestepping the IAB altogether, and establishing a league without a license. Those same sources don’t think it’ll happen, though, since the Israel Sports Authority, which governs all professional sports in Israel, sanctions the IAB (and depends on those licensing shekels).

While some insiders think the threat is simply leverage to force the IAB to drop the creditor clause, others tell Elli that Rosen feels so strongly about the issue, he just might go for it.

Ami Baran, the manager of the IBL’s Netanya Tigers who for some reason showed up, brought up the spectre of violence if a new league moved in without paying the IBL’s debts, saying there would be demonstrations, and things “could get ugly.”

“He was basically trying to shake down the room,” said one participant in disgust.

Quotes

Other observations? The meeting’s chairman, Marvin Goldklang, the New York Yankees shareholder and former IBL advisory boardmember, told Elli: "Although I don't have a horse in the race, my hope is that, whoever moves forward with the professional baseball effort, will do so with a sensitivity toward the many people, including creditors, who placed their faith in the idea that baseball can succeed in Israel---regardless of who may have let them down. In the end, it’s the credibility of the sport that is at stake, more so than the reputation of any one individual or group."

Rosen (sounding a little like Mark McGuire speaking to Congress), said: “We are rowing forward. With little help from our friends. Our focus is the future, not the past. And we believe in the The Dream, not past mistakes.”

Off The Record

Still more participants spoke off the record:

“The bottom line is that all of the parties shared the vision of the greater good: baseball in Israel,” said one man who was at the meeting. “Everyone recognized the need to resolve things quickly to have a 2008 season, but by the end of the day, there was no resolution. Everyone left with a more complete understanding of the operating costs, which was a big step. Private conversations in coming days will hopefully bear fruit.”

Sadly, many believe that the IPBL's Rosen is naïve: naïve in thinking that a new league (whose name sounds so similar to the old one) can rise up from the debt-strewn ashes of the IBL and throw out the first ball without covering the bills left behind from last season. And one businessman who was a minor investor in the IBL laid out the most obvious: “Baseball is not basketball. And it’s not soccer. Baseball is not a priority in Israel. It’s not on the 'must-need' list! When you bring in a new product, you need to be very flexible and prepare yourself at least the first few years for some probable big financial losses and a lot of birth pains.

“All this hostility against Baras is taking away from a positive solution. If you’re serious about solutions, you go to the heart of the problem. If you don't satisfy the Israel Baseball Association and the vendors who are owed, you are not a serious player! I do wonder if this whole Rosen thing is something of a farce.”

Who said “Wohlge- liar”?

By the way, we're told it was Martin Berger, the president and COO of the Israel Baseball League, who referred to journalist Elli Wohlgelernter as “Elli Wohlge-LIAR.”

He has not, of course, pointed to one “lie” told by Elli or any misstatements in his reporting.

And how would he like it if we called him Marty Berg-ler?

Friday, February 08, 2008

The roots of Bardem's "No Country" hair



Spaniard Javier Bardem is up for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar® for his not-as-scary-as-the-book role as Anton Chigurh in No Country for Old Men, and in an apparent bid for sympathy votes keeps complaining about his character's haircut as if it were a Christy Brown My Left Foot or The Sea Inside transformation. But from the start, we've seen the do as an obvious tribute to Charlie Watts.

Amy Winehouse can't get a visa to come to LA, but at least she'll have her own E! True Hollywood Story


Amy Winehouse has been a favorite in the Tabloid Baby office long before she began a downward tabloid spiral that just may be evening out now that she’s holed up in Ozzy Osbourne’s guesthouse trying to get clean. So though we're disappointed the poor girl wasn't allowed into the States in time to come to LA so she can score some Brad Renfro heroin on the way to the Grammys on Sunday night, we were cheered to find out she's the subject of an E! True Hollywood Story on Saturday.

We'd hoped the show was produced by Michael Lynn, whom we've hailed as the best in the field of show biz docutragedy, but although another producer helmed the half hour, advance word is that it's action-packed, complete with teenage Amy footage (when she was twice the weight with half the hair height) and interviews with more than observers, including our favorite-named guitarist, Binky Griptite, whose Dap Kings backed Amy on her breakthrough album.

By the way, Wino is up against a new favorite of ours for Best New Artist on Sunday night. Taylor Swift is a teenage cutie who writes grownup kiddie country songs that sound just as good on Radio Disney, where they're sped up a hair and the fiddles and dobros are replaced by drum loops.

We reckon Taylor’s a good five years away from rehab and a True Hollywood story of her own.

Amy Winehouse: The E! True Hollywood Story premieres Saturday, February 9th at 6 pm, Eastern & Pacific Times on the E! Entertainment network. Michael Lynn's got a True Hollywood Story on Renee Zellweger airing on March 1st.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Ahmet Ertegun is the new Meredith Hunter




Shine a Light, the new Rolling Stones concert film directed by Martin Scorsese, opened the Berlin Film Festival and got a nice review from Todd McCarthy in Variety, who notes:

“The arc of the Rolling Stones’ evolving reputations -- from rock ‘n’ roll’s bad boys to its most beloved and resilient granddaddies -- can be traced by the most prominent guest stars in their early and late-career concert films: the Hell’s Angels in ‘Gimme Shelter’ and former President Clinton and family in ‘Shine a Light.’”

The arc and aura might also be reflected in the body count. Gimme Shelter leads up to the infamous 1969 Stones concert at the Altamont Speedway outside Oakland, and captures the murder of concertgoer Meredith Hunter, stabbed to death in front of the stage by the Hell’s Angeles security force.

Shine A Light is built around a 2006 Stones show at New York City’s Beacon Theatre and, McCarthy notes, is dedicated to music executive Ahmet Ertegun, "who, at 83, took a bad fall at the recorded concert and died shortly thereafter.”