1999-2010

Friday, June 22, 2007

Why are Mark & Brian still on the radio?

Adam Carolla isn't doing himself any favors by running a week's worth of weak repeat segments and labelling it The Best of The Adam Carolla Show. Stripped of the extraneous chatter of morning radio and laid bare in all their thinness, his monotonal improvised "rants" and sophomoric "bits" don't play out well at all, and he's especially exposed when he tries to parody a professional AM deejay (a switch that Howard Stern would do with frightening skill when he was still on the radio) or strip club announcer (in a recurring segment), showing that despite his years as second banana on the "Loveline" program, Carolla's never mastered the vocal techniques or quick-witted improvisational skills that a radio pro relies on. We await the elevation of "sidekick" Danny Bonaduce.

But forget Carolla. Here's the question: What are Mark & Brian still doing on morning drive radio in Los Angeles?

The pair have obviously thrown in the towel. For more than a year now, they've wasted hours of valuable airtime, killing time by playing question-and-answer games with people on the phone and the studio crew. Hours.

Question: What links Lake Erie and The Hudson River?
Answer: The Erie Canal.


This goes on every morning: hours spent playing Trivial Pursuit with outdated Who Wants To Be A Millionaire sound effects, as if they're in a prison cell or bus station-- anywhere but a radio studio connected to a powerful transmitter. And this morning, they upped the time-killing ante, announcing they'll soon waste even more airtime with a version of Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader!

This pair of insincere old-school jocks from the Deep South got a mention in Tabloid Baby as the type of soft maudlin morning radio that was swept aside by Stern's arrival in the LA market. But now, with Stern in obscurity, M&B, like a two-headed version of Inside Edition, linger on toward their 20 year anniversary on 95.5 KLOS Radio, obviously sitting out til the end of their contract.

We haven't even mentioned that the final hour of each morning's show is often taken up by a replay of an interview they did in the Nineties (including a recent talk with dead man Don Knotts)!

Who's allowing them to kill time like a couple of retirees on a park bench?

Give the slot to Johnny Wendell. Let him go up against Bonaduce. That would make LA a morning radio town again.

14 comments:

wholesomedick said...

GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A BARBED DILDO.

Dark Laith said...

I'm forced to find myself in agreement with wholesomedick.

Mandee said...

I am also in agreement with the two previous comments.

Anonymous said...

Personally, I find Adam hilarious.

Perhaps you should stop slugging down gallons of Listerine while you listen, o silly little chubby blog drone.

e said...

u flaming homos arent 1% as funy as adam on his worst day.

danny maybe...

Anonymous said...

Wow. Clever retorts. All of you cretins reinforced TB's point.

Anonymous said...

I was with you when you critiqued ACS but when you slammed Adam on Loveline, you lost me.

It looks like the fanboys from The Loveline Companion are mobilizing to insult you. Expect the lowbrow comments to continue.

Anonymous said...

I just farted...and it smells better than your review.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Wholesomedick. Adam has more humor and talent in his left nut than you and your entire family has in your entire body.

Will Campbell said...

Wait a minute... nuts and talent notwithstanding, 'Bloid Baby has a whole family in his entire body?

Cool!

Anonymous said...

===============================
What a thread. Ideas from the young and stupid demo-attractive listeners that ad buyers just SWOON over. Screw 'em...

But great review, TB. I've thought the same thing about this show for yeeeears. Citadel may just snip that contract up like parts of a whole fryer and drop it in hot oil. Southern style.

Time to retire, boys... and please take the box of Trival Pursuit with you.
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Anonymous said...

Adam is a comedic genius.

Anonymous said...

Carolla has more far more to offer than Danny. You await Danny's rise? And you are making fun of Carolla fans? You should pay someone to listen to your issues... And I agree with wholesomedick.

Anonymous said...

At last someone with discerning taste who isn't amused by silly thoughtless drivel.

If these no talents can get paid, it should give hope to ANY aspirant.

Brian really thinks he's funny. Go try and get a real writing job writing comedy. You'll see Brian. You just aren't funny. Mark's talent is fake laughing for hours everyday, and Corolla just rips Howard off -- only badly.

I willing to bet that these people who think these no talent fools are worth defending are the same people who haven't read a book in years. That's why there are cartoons.