TMZ Roundup: Another day, another sleaze slate

TMZ.com., the AOL/Time Warner celebrity gossip website that buys up legal documents, sends kids with cameras to harass celebs outside restaurants and helps market porn DVDs, sure isn't cleaning up its act as it heads toward its debut as a mainstream syndicated television show. And we're not talking about TMZ frontman Harvey Levin's unsavory appearances on various news programs during the Paris Hilton escapades.

We're pointing to the often disgusting stories and headlines the website blasts out each day. And today's collection, for some reason, stands out. Whether it's Harvey at the keyboard or some low-paid kid trying to write "tabloid," it's pornalism at its most amateurish.

A sample:

Who Wants to Go Down ... Under?
Take a look at the glistening, golden, ripped, hairless abs, bis and pecs of the men from Australia's Thunder From Down Under all male Las Vegas revue. Hello? Are you listening?

Britney -- Victim of Pap Smear?
The vagina effect. Simple. Shocking. Effective. But is it intentional? As you may undoubtedly recall, Britney Spears has had a few "oopsies" over the last year -- oopsies that left her no-no special parts "accidentally" exposed. But who's to blame? Oversmellous paps?

The Tush Is a Pussycat!
Tush-a-luscious Kim Kardashian will soon be showing off her asstasticness in a new forum ...
with the Pussycat Dolls at
Caesars Palace! Et tu, Tushy!

Cool Dat Ass
Finally, someone is addressing the productivity-killing affliction of ... hot butt. Japanese website Rare Mono Shop is selling a USB powered cushion cooler... allowing fans to blow gently on your bottom... erasing all the troubles of your life -- or just a fan on your ass.

Pam Turns 40, Breasts Still Underage!
With the big 4-0 just two weeks away, Pamela Anderson started the festivities early when PETA threw her a boobieful birthday bash in Fort Lauderdale on Tuesday. Look at those puppies! America's favorite middle-aged Canadian blonde bombshell can still rock a nipple-icious off-the-shoulder boulder-holder gown -- and her breasteses don't look a day over 18! Hmmm, wonder what her secret is?!

Robbie Williams Fancies the Finger
British pop star Robbie Williams cheerily flipped cameras the bird in the Hollywood Hills on Tuesday. Love you too, mate!

The clock is ticking toward TMZ's moment of truth. The Celebrity Justice idea already tanked once. Harvey's about as telegenic as The National Enquirer's Mike Walker, and the infusion of "mainstream" news veterans into the TMZ TV staff won't give it the style and finesse a show like this needs. But first top has to be classing up the site. This might play after midnight on West Hollywood Cablevision. But mainstream America? It's a 3,000 mile zone out there.