Guest Columnist: Paris & her Tabloid Baby twin

We in the Tabloid Baby office have been at this game too long to give a fiddler's f-ck about Paris Hilton, except to believe she should be doing community service and remembering the days when it was a flaky, flighty tabloid heiress' duty to drive tipsy, get in fender benders and then ignore traffic school. The judge is an asshole. The Sheriff is a flower child. And the "mainstream" media, as usual, are happy hypocrites, thumbing their noses at the throng while following their lead into the muck. Our new contributor, Kings Farmer from the island of Manhattan, says it best. Give him a nicer welcome than the comment crowd gave us over at TVgasm:

Tabloid Baby came to mind this morning as I watched an MSNBC (NBC's Cable Baby) reporter standing in front of Paris Hilton's home blaming the "Paparazzi" for the Media Circus. A DingBat in Denial.

Network Hypocrisy was running wild, which is what that cupie-doll MSNBC (on Friday, the Paris Hilton Network) reporter was accusing the "Paparazzi" of doing on Paris's street. "Oh those wacky, irresponsible Paparazzi!" was the gist of her schtick. As if the networks with their numerous camera crews, producers, and reporters were there on a mission from God and not really covering this "event."

The same old arrogance.

And there was the shallow and doltish "anchor" (she SHOULD work on a ship), Contessa Brewer, a pretty-face news reader with the depth of a New York City pizza pan, mocking her peer, Paris, as she lamely emoted, all charged up with phony, exaggerated (the control-room producer in her ear: "More energy, Contessa! More Outrage at the paparazzi that are the currency we use to buy our legitimacy!! We'll get more make-up and hair to you on the break-- IF we take one!"), reaction to these goings-on, that she-- a serious JOOOOOOUUURRNALIST--has never seen before.

She's shocked. SHOCKED!

Contessa, get it straight, baby: You and Paris are sisters, CREATED by the same Mommy and Daddy-- TELEVISION.

Contessa and Paris--TABLOID BABY TWINS.

A tip of the Tabloid Baby hat to Kings Farmer, reporting from the island of Manhattan. Stay tuned for more.