1999-2010

Friday, August 08, 2008

Exclusive excerpt: A meeting with Bernie Brillstein

Legendary Hollywood manager and producer Bernie Brillstein is dead at 77. Nikki Finke made the announcement with a loving tribute this morning, and we were reminded that Bernie has a wonderful cameo in the book, Tabloid Baby.

To set the stage: It's 1993. Tabloid television producer Burt Kearns and reporter Rafael Abramovitz have a meeting with Brillstein to pitch a reality TV show that would take viewers behind scenes of tabloid news stories. Rafael is "hot," thanks to a feature in the current GQ magazine called "Sleazy Does It." The meeting has been set up by their agent, Ari Emanuel of the Inter Talent agency.

Now, on to this exclusive excerpt, to page 258 of Tabloid Baby:

In the big building on the edge of Beverly Hills at 9200 Sunset Boulevard, we had an audience with Bernie Brillstein, the man who managed the original Saturday Night Live stars and went on to produce some of their most successful movies and TV shows. Brillstein was a legend, and not only as “The Man Who Killed Belushi” for supplying him with money his last week on earth.

Ushered past the picture of “Client of The Month” Garry Shandling and posters for movies like
The Blues Brothers, Ghostbusters and Wayne’s World in the reception room, we met Brillstein, a big bear with white hair and a goatee, settled behind a big desk in a big corner office with big views straight out to the big ocean. At either corner of the desk, a round fishbowl containing a live fish faced us and our obligatory black coffees.

“I know you, I know your work,” Brillstein said to Raf, and settling back he looked at me and wagged a finger. “And you, you look exactly like John Hughes.”

I wracked my brain to think who John Hughes was. John Cusack, Andrew McCarthy— was he a Brat Packer?

“A young John Hughes. It’s amazing.”

I thought some more. Then I realized who he was talking about. John Hughes, the guy who produced
Home Alone. A fat guy with owly glasses. Great.

“I like tabloid TV and this reality TV, Brillstein went on. “I have a a good friend, he’s fucked a lot of women, he told me the best he ever had, the one he was proudest of doing, guess who it was?”

“You got me.”

“Fawn Hall.” He was talking about Rob Lowe.

“Yeah. Fawn Hall. With the tooth,” I said.

“I’ve always admired her for using her underwear to transport secret documents,” Raf said.

Brillstein was male bonding. I could picture him with Belushi, rhapsodizing about how he’d like to give that skinny Larraine Newman a shot in the ass. “I’ll tell you, in all these Amy Fisher movies, you know who I’d like to fuck?” His assistant, whom we’d not noticed— I was looking at the fishies— nodded as if he’d heard it all before. “I’d like to fuck that Drew Barrymore. Oooh.”

E.T., yeah,” I said, thinking, well, it took three years but we were in. This was Hollywood: a powerful fat man with a commanding view of the city, fantasizing about fucking a seventeen-year-old.

Yet Brillstein listened carefully to the pitch, interrupting every few sentences for clarifications. He was amused when Raf’s rap was interrupted by a page from Joey Buttafuoco. Even though I thought it was a bullshit attempt to make an impression until Raf asked for a phone to call him back. While Raf spoke with Joey on one line, Brillstein called the agent Arivon the other. “I love these guys,” he said with enthusiasm. “We’re gonna do something together.”

When they hung up, he spoke again. “I like your ideas. Just get them down on paper. We can make lots of money, lots of money on a one-hour reality show. Come back with specifics on paper and we’ll go to a network with it.”

It was as simple as that. Bernie Brillstein was good to go.

It was even simpler. Raf let it slide. Our Brillstein meeting led to naught and I never got to that second meeting to find out if old Bern got to fuck Drew Barrymore.

3 comments:

Defamer said...

Brillstein needed three memoirs just to sort his stories out; as such, we don't even know where to start on our favorites here.

Or it could be any number of the other stories referenced and cross-referenced between Variety, a particularly fun tribute at Tabloid Baby ("I’d like to fuck that Drew Barrymore. Oooh.”) and Nikki Finke, who notes that Grey and Lorne Michaels are arranging a memorial service for Brillstein next week. Consider this our own: Thanks for the memories, Bernie — even Hee Haw. You'll be missed.

sexy said...

情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,A片,A片,情色,A片,A片,情色,A片,A片,情趣用品,A片,情趣用品,A片,情趣用品,a片,情趣用品

A片,A片,AV女優,色情,成人,做愛,情色,AIO,視訊聊天室,SEX,聊天室,自拍,AV,情色,成人,情色,aio,sex,成人,情色

免費A片,美女視訊,情色交友,免費AV,色情網站,辣妹視訊,美女交友,色情影片,成人影片,成人網站,H漫,18成人,成人圖片,成人漫畫,情色網,日本A片,免費A片下載,性愛

情色文學,色情A片,A片下載,色情遊戲,色情影片,色情聊天室,情色電影,免費視訊,免費視訊聊天,免費視訊聊天室,一葉情貼圖片區,情色視訊,免費成人影片,視訊交友,視訊聊天,言情小說,愛情小說,AV片,A漫,AVDVD,情色論壇,視訊美女,AV成人網,成人交友,成人電影,成人貼圖,成人小說,成人文章,成人圖片區,成人遊戲,愛情公寓,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色小說,成人論壇


av女優,av,av片,aio交友愛情館,ut聊天室,聊天室,豆豆聊天室,色情聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,080聊天室,視訊聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室,上班族聊天室,成人聊天室,中部人聊天室,一夜情聊天室,情色聊天室,情色視訊

A片,A片,A片下載,做愛,成人電影,.18成人,日本A片,情色小說,情色電影,成人影城,自拍,情色論壇,成人論壇,情色貼圖,情色,免費A片,成人,成人網站,成人圖片,AV女優,成人光碟,色情,色情影片,免費A片下載,SEX,AV,色情網站,本土自拍,性愛,成人影片,情色文學,成人文章,成人圖片區,成人貼圖

清朝美女 said...

(法新社倫敦四日電) 英國情色大亨芮孟的a片下載公司昨天AV片說,芮孟日成人影片前去成人網站世,sex享壽八十二歲;色情這位身av價上億的房地產開發情色電影商,曾經在倫敦推成人網站出第一場脫衣舞表av演。

色情影片
芮孟的財產成人影片估計成人達六億五千萬英鎊(台幣將a片近四百億),由於他名下事業大多分布在倫敦夜生活區蘇活區色情成人因此擁有「蘇活情色視訊之王」日本av的稱號。
部落格

他的成人電影公司「保羅芮孟集團」旗成人網站下發行多a片種情色雜av誌,包括「Razavzav女優leavdvd」、「男性世界」以及「Mayfai情色電影r」。色情a片
a片下載
色情
芮孟情色本名傑福瑞.安東尼.奎恩,父av女優親為搬運承a片包商。芮孟十五歲離開學校,矢言要在表演事部落格業留名,起先表演讀心術,後來成為巡迴歌舞雜耍表演av女優的製作情色人。


許多評論a片成人電影認為,他把情色表演帶進主流社會,一九五九部落格年主持破天荒的脫衣舞表演,後來成人影片更靠著在蘇活區與成人光碟倫敦西區開發房地產賺得大筆財富。


有人形容芮孟是英國的海夫納,地位等同美國的「花花公子」創辦人海夫納。