Sanjaya: The making of a super villain?

Forget Heather Mills doing backflips on Dancing with The Stars with a bionic leg. There's real outrage this afternoon over Sanjaya Malakar's performance on American Idol last night (see his performance here).

The Chicago Sun-Times writes of death threats against an ironic Sanjaya promoter, USA Today claims that Idol's "credibility" may be at stake, and the L.A. Times suggests he "made a mockery" of the show and compares him to a prisoner at Guantanamo!

"Surely Sanjaya is aware... of the counter-Idol movements that are promoting him. Has he taken up their banner as Idol's anti-hero? If so, this introduces a toxic element which has never been unleashed on the Idol stage.

"Another factor... if it is true... that Blake, the Chrises and Phil Stacey are all roommates, this means that in the guys' dorm, the surviving gentlemen contestants are all in one room together -- except Sanjaya, who then would be in a room by himself.

"...So we can visualize the specter of Sanjaya, after watching his roommates be killed off one by one, sitting along in his cavernous, cold, bare dorm room while the cool kids party down the hall, surfing the web and seeing how one girl is starving herself demanding he be kicked off while at the same time he has become a hero to a generation of Idol haters. . . . you don't need to be a Carl Jung, just someone who reads enough comic books, to know that this is how super-villains are born..."

Ah... and what of the Desi factor... and suspicions that he's remained on the show thanks to automated call centers in India?

Uber Desi, the website tagged as a prime mover on that front, has offered sharply-debated denials-- but the most interesting clue appears today:

Update: The number to vote for Sanjaya this week is 1-800-IDOLS-04. Remember you can vote as many times as you can dial till 2 hours after the show concludes.

Meanwhile, Dial Idol has him in the Top 4 right now... so who's behind it?

C'mon. We like conspiracy theories as much as, and more than, the next guy. But in Sanjaya's case, his appeal seems obvious. Amid the big diva belters, boy band scale riders and karaoke wannabes, Sanjaya looks like a teen idol. He's got a twisted charisma. Every week, he gives the audience something to look forward to.

And for two weeks in a row, he's made us laugh out loud!

For Idol, Sanjaya is good for ratings. He's helped people forget Antonella Barba. Yes, he seems to have taken the hate to heart. But he won't be around forever. Soon the producers will clear the decks to give attention to the big charity event. And they'll turn to the call centers in India to pump up the vote against him.

Exclusive! Will India make Sanjaya America's Idol?

Are outsourced tech support workers in India using their speed-dialing phone resources and technical expertise to keep Sanjaya Malakar on American Idol? That's the chatter we're picking up on blogsites catering to the Desi community ("Desi" in this case referring to people of South Asian descent spread throughout the English-speaking world-- see MTV Desi).

Leading Desi blogsite Uber Desi addresses concerns that "support for Sanjaya equals racism" because of the claim that most of those voting for Sanjaya (a "half-Desi") are of Indian descent or in India:

"MeraGussaII on O3 alleges that the voting for Sanjaya has racial overtones. The blogger alleges that most of the votes Sanjaya is receiving is from Indians or people of desi origin. I say Sanjaya is this year's version of Chicken Little... unless tech support people from call centers in India are dialing in to American Idol on their clock, the majority audience and voters for American Idol is the teenybopper crowd."

It's an open secret in the television industry that American and UK series featuring phone-in voting by viewers rely on phone centers in India to take calls-- and occasionally, pump up the numbers.

Idol is seen in India on Star World TV, and the Indian and South Asian media have followed the Sanjaya saga closely and prominently-- ever since Sanjaya and his sister Shyamali auditioned.

And it's a shame that big sister Shyamali didn't make it to the finals.

It looks like she might have given Antonella Barba a run for her money.

For as you can see from the photo at left, the wide-eyed, innocent-looking beauty was a Hooters waitress in Tacoma!

Sanjaya, Idol, India, racism & Ravi Ravinder

Sunday newspapers around the world are picking up an Associated Press story claiming that support from India has nothing to do with Sanjaya Malakar's success on American Idol. The article also flips off the Indian phone center theories with "most workers have calls automatically dialed for them by computers. They couldn't even call next door if they wanted to." But a check of popular Indian blogsites, including India Uncut, whose founder is quoted in the article calling Sanjaya "an object of ridicule" in India, show that interest is high. (See an Indian site's compilation of Sanjaya-related video clips here.)

And for the first time, the popular Uber Desi website, whose postings helped launch the call center theories, is suggesting that racism may be at the root of the anti-Sanjaya movement (see Celebrity Big Brother UK):

"...Is it really Sanjaya's singing why so many folks in America hate him or is it the color of the skin that is making them uncomfortable and hence the hatred?"

And there's another reason why Sanjaya's story is reverberating through India and the Desi community around the world: His rise on Idol is drawing many comparisons to a contestant on the first season of Indian Idol.

Two years ago, an impoverished Punjabi housepainter named Ravi Ravinder became the public's favourite after he sang "Khuda bhi aasman se jab zamin pe dekhta hoga."

And then all hell broke loose.

Because Ravi lacked any formal training, the judges became more frustrated as "talented" singers were voted off and he stayed in. Judge Anu Malik hated Ravi more than Simon Cowell hates Sanjaya-- and spoke these words long before Randy Jackson threw up his arms: "I have nothing to say to you because it seems our words carry no weight and the people of India seem to love you."

Said another judge: "I hope the people of India realize that they have to vote for someone who will represent the country. It's high time we started acting in a mature manner instead of being emotional fools."

Ravi became the most talked-about contestant on the show. Each week he survived, there were more conspiracy theories about voting irregularities and lost phone calls. And all the controversy and fuming judges only translated into more votes.

He made it to the Top 5. When he was finally voted off, some charged that the vote was fixed against him!. After Idol, Ravi was cleaned up and became a bigger star than ever. He released an album, accompanied by a music video shot in Barcelona and starring a former Miss Norway and is one of the busiest Indian Idol performers.

His "friends" expose Sanjaya as a subversive

If his fauxhawk version of "You Really Got Me" showed that young Sanjaya Malakar has got American Idol in the palm of his hand, last night's revelatory performance of "Besame Mucho" revealed much more.

And it wasn't the fact that his controversial hairstyling has crept down to cover his upper lip and chin (sort of). It was the group in the audience identified as "Sanjaya's friends." High-fiving, possibly high and sharing a seat with Sanjaya's demure Hooter's waitress sister Shyamali, were two of reality television's most anarchic figures.

Watch the video and see Tom Lowe, the controversial openly-gay adult British Idol contestant, with "BJ" Averell, one of the Hippies who won the ninth Amazing Race, acting as if they were under the influence of something other than Sanjaya.

Lowe caused a mini-stir this season after he showed up at the Seattle auditions (where Sanjaya and his sister went through) and was soon outed as a former member of a boyband that had been under contract to Simon Cowell's label. Lowe was featured in an extended segment that was shown only in the UK Idol feed, leading to speculation that he was a ringer inserted into the mix to boost ratings there.

As the scandal erupted, he vanished mysteriously once the show moved to Hollywood.

And BJ, the merry prankster (left), has been caught doing some strange male bonding of his own--

So what gives? Now that they've adopted Sanjaya, or vice versa... something strange is definitely in the air at Idol.

Something's up. And it's got nothing to do with Howard Stern.

Was Sanjaya a victim of Virginia Tech?

We'd predicted he'd be sent home from American Idol the week before the Idol Gives Back charity event (to clear the stage for a new wave of publicity), but Sanjaya Malakar's elimination last night still came as a shock-- and we're sad to see him go.

And it appears that the Virginia Tech incident had at least something to do with his ouster. Chris Richardson's position in the top three signalled that he surely won sympathy votes and saved himself with his words of encouragement to the survivors. And Simon Cowell's "enough is enough-- it's not funny any more" attitude toward Sanjaya on Tuesday night carried more weight because of the pall the tragedy had cast over the show.

There's also the possibility that the ethnicity of the Virginia Tech killer led to anti-Asian sentiment-- and anti-Sanjaya sentiment.

Then again, it could have been his rotten performance!

We'll hear more about that later today. And we'll be hearing more from Sanjaya. Overall, he proved to be a great entertainer in more ways than one. And after all the conjecture about his villainy, the poor kid cried when he had to go.

Look back at the Sanjaya stories here and wonder how Phil Stacey outlasted him...

Idol producer ridicules Stern's Sanjaya claim

The morning after Sanjaya Malakar turned in another memorable, winning performance on American Idol and inspired an audience member's sign that read "Sanjaya is my Papaya," one of the show's executive producers says Tabloid Baby was correct in reporting that Howard Stern listeners have nothing to do with his success in the competition.

Ken Warwick says that even if all of Howard's listeners voted-- or if any other radio campaign was started-- they wouldn't make up the difference that Sanjaya has over the contestants below him-- or above him-- in the weekly phone-in votes.

"There is very little hype anybody can do to affect the vast numbers of votes we get," he says.

Warwick also tells the New York Daily News that Idol's technical staff has the ability to trace each of the 40 million calls the show receives each week--and to identify or stop electronic voting-- though they've not spotted a problem so far.

Howard has reportedly bragged that he and a website that urge people to vote for the worst contestants have kept Sanjaya in the running-- to ruin Idol's credibility. We reported that the claim was probably unfounded, due to the fact that Stern has virtually disappeared from the pop culture radar screen since he left radio and millions of listeners for big money but a small audience on a pay-satellite show.

Howard has also ignored Sanjaya's obvious audience appeal, which crosses generations and cultures, his attention-getting showmanship-- and his vocal talent, which was praised last night by no less than Tony Bennett, the music great who Frank Sinatra called "the best singer in the business."

Apprentice's Surya surveys Sanjaya-Idol-India link

Surya Yamanchili, in his final hours as the most-recently fired Apprentice candidate, is the latest to weigh in on the worldwide debate over our report on suspicions that Sanjaya Malakar's stay on American Idol is being extended by bloc voting in India--specifically from workers and technology in outsourced call centers in cities like New Delhi.

Surya, like Sanjaya, is a hero to the Desi community because of his prominence on an American reality TV series (Indian-American couple Vipul and Arti Patel didn't make it past the first episode of last season's Amazing Race). He doesn't buy the theory.

"What the hell?" he writes us. "This seems pretty idiotic to me. There are no facts supporting it all-- just total speculation. Why don't they just speculate that Martians are voting for him because Martians consider themselves Asian?"

Hard-core rap fan Surya (who, like Sanjaya, was born in the USA) admits, "I haven't followed Idol. I think the fact that you can 'manufacture' a pop music star on national TV is proof what shit most pop music is today! Although I think if I watched the show, I'd probably like it!"

The story was based on a wave of Internet chatter on Indian and Desi blog and news sites. Since it's been picked up around the world, new suspicions and theories have emerged.

But the potential scandal has picked up even more traction and debate in the UK, where anti-Asian bias is more of a problem, and became a national scandal amid charges of racism on their Celebrity Big Brother.

All that was reflected in the comments when the story was posted on the widely-read, London-based Anorak site:

"He clearly is not talented enough to be in the finals... Clearly the Indians are pushing him through with the votes..."

"First off, your bunch of morons, India's time zone is different that when the show goes on, and the tech workers don't have tv's in the building. Why don't you all admit it, the kids got talent, your just pissed because the phones in your trailers didn't work when sundance was singing..."

"I am fairly certain the cheap labor at the Indian call centers probably don't have spare time to be spending company resources to vote on some kid across the ocean..."

"Believe it or not, Ms. Barba and Sanjaya have made this show so much more popular, for whatever reasons..."

"Huh? Who said anything about Indian call center workers-- and a different time zone? You only have to look in your own backyard... We initially brought them over as cheap labor for technical positions in US companies and since them they have been pouring in through H1B visas..."

"I believe Sanjaya is getting all his votes from the Indians..."

"Why can't the votes be limited to one per phone number? Wouldn't that be more valid? My own 13 year old stayed up and voted 100+ times for Blake. It's not just an ethnic thing. The little girls think he's cute."


(Confidential to Playboy's Miss May, Alison Waite: Our pal Surya wants to get in touch. Click here for his MySpace page.)

Sanjaya, Surya, Sanurya, Surjaya-- and Imus

All this attention focused on American Idol fave Sanjaya Malakar has become a royal pain for another Indian-American reality series contestant.

Tabloid Baby pal Surya "Chili" Yalamanchili was fired by Donald Trump in Episode 8 of The Apprentice: LA (though he was our initial favorite to win). When we last checked in with the pride of Cincinatti, Surya told us he wasn't following Idol.

But now, he's let us know that Idol is following him:

For the past 2 weeks, a very interesting phenomenon has occurred. And by "interesting," I actually mean "terrible annoying." When strangers come up to me these days they call me "Sanjaya."

...If you've seen the show you'd know that I look absolutely nothing like him, and you know, there's the fact that I'm not... 16 years old. But anyway, if they don't call me "Sanjaya", the second most common is a "Surya"-"Sanjaya" mix.

Sanurya. Surjaya. Whatever. And yes, I'm being totally serious...

Most distressing. The brilliant Don Imus recently ran into a little bit of trouble by calling some lovely ladies from my alma mater, Rutgers, a few poorly chosen names. I find it hard to believe that other people, likely far more intelligent that Don Imus, can't seem to tell apart two very different looking Indian-Americans who were on TV.

Well, I guess they can tell us apart, they just can't remember our names. Or rather, they can remember his name, but not my name.

If there's any justice in the world, somewhere, wherever that Sanjaya kid lives (or stays... I have no idea how Idol films as I've never seen it), people are coming up to him and asking him about his fascination with whiteboards and the word "absurd."

Read the complete post and more of Surya's musings on his blogsite. And we don't know about you, but we can't wait for the Surya cartoon series.

Sanjaya vs. American Idol: Who's crying now?

Who needs call centers in India? Sanjaya Malakar's unexpectedly uninhibited and totally bizarre performance last night, aided by a deft director who kept cutting to a little girl who'd been weeping through the entire show (a tribute to the evening's British Invasion theme, of course) was one of the most memorable moments in American Idol history. And despite the best efforts of the judges to sway the votes, Sanjaya would seem to be a lock for a place in the Final 10, and upcoming Idol concert tour and album. (Too bad for Phil "Bat Boy" Stacey, who reminds us of a big kid from the Make A Wish Foundation.)

Sanjaya's explosion comes amid a furious refutation from one of the Indiacentric websites that led to our exclusive report about suspicions that Sanjaya's voting bloc was the Desi (South Asian) community here and outsourced call centers in India.

In the days after our report was picked up by media around world, Uberdesi writes:

"First off, AI cannot be broadcast LIVE in India. Everything is time-delayed... It is highly improbable for a TV to be present in a call center environment; do you watch reality programming when you are at your job? Even if there is a TV that did broadcast an American Channel, AI would be broadcast at the wee hours of the morning.

"The time difference would mean that the show should be available at approximately 6:30 / 7:30 AM for it to be live. But from Star World's online schedule it plays at 10 am on Thursday, which makes it 11:30 P.M. Central Time and at 8 P.M. on Wednesday, which would be 9:30 P.M Central Time Tuesday night This also happens to be the busiest time for call centers, considering the calls they have to make to the west coast.

"Think of all those telemarketing calls you receive every night when you sit down at the dinner table; if those cunning Indians were stuffing a virtual ballot box for someone who isn't even really one of their own, would they have time to annoy you?"

We'll know more after tonight's results show. That Peter Noone turned out to be a good mentor after all...

Stern tries to take credit for Sanjaya's success

Ever since Howard Stern dropped off the pop culture radar screen when he took a huge lump of money and ran off to satellite radio, he's relied on a powerful PR company to keep his name in the news. Whether it's an engagement to his girlfriend (just in time, as her popularity is surpassing his), or cruelly sending out his besotted sidekick Artie Lange on a public Belushi-Farley death tour, Howard has become a silent gossip item who can't overcome the impression that he'll need to return to free radio in one form or another.

So now he's claiming to be influencing American Idol by promoting a website that urges people to vote for Sanjaya Malakar. And, with his powerful PR company, the claim that no one got to hear on the radio gets front page placement today in the New York Times!

"We're corrupting the entire thing," Mr. Stern said on his pay show Thursday, the day after Sanjaya secured a place in the top nine. "All of us are routing American Idol. It's so great. The No. 1 show in television and it's getting ruined."

Bullshit! Continue reading the article and you'll see that Howard's claims are refuted... while the stately New York Times supports Tabloid Baby's exclusive report that India is keeping Sanjaya in the contest!

Howard's claims that he influenced the voting are based on the fact that Sanjaya bounced out of the bottom three on March 19--but that was the day after his extraordinary, mind-blowing, crying girl performance of The Kinks' "You Really Got Me" (which has already made it onto Tabloid Baby's list of the Top 50 TV Moments of All Time).

And although it used Howard as the hook for its article, The Times gives a different analysis of the appeal of "Mr. Malakar, who at 17 looks like a 1970s pop star of the David Cassidy/Bobby Sherman/Andy Gibb variety... (and) is perhaps the most talked-about Idol contestant ever:

"A number of those voting for Mr. Malakar may be genuine fans, many of them in the pre- and early-teenage brackets, to judge from posts on a number of Internet bulletin boards dedicated to the show.

"But the fans also include older women and Indian-Americans, and Mr. Malakar's progress is being tracked voraciously by Indian newspapers in both the United States and India..."

A Fox spokeswoman dismissed Howard's claims, just as executive producer Nigel Lythgoe shrugged off the website last week. So why did The New York Times write an article that featured Howard Stern? Well, the LA Times was scandalized recently over an editor's romance with a woman who does PR for Brian Grazer. What's the Sirius-Times connection?

Idol finale: Another Spector tribute from Sanjaya?

Back in March, we made some headlines when we showed you evidence that American Idol contestant Sanjaya Malakar was emulating the hairstyles of Phil Spector.

Now, amid word about who's going to show on tonight's Idol finale, is the report that Sanjaya will reprise his crying-girl number, "You Really Got Me" with Steve Perry of Journey-- or Joe Perry of Aerosmith, depending on who's doing the reporting-- sporting short, platinum hair.

Spector, the legendary crackpot music producer and murder trial defendant, raised more than a few eyebrows when he traded his collection of brunette toupees for the platinum Beatles bob when his trial got underway. Sanjaya is bound to raise some eyebrows tonight.

That's no way to treat an Idol!

A big Tabloid Baby razz to radio station KISS 106.1 in Seattle, for trying to humilate the hometown teenager who's been the brightest light of this American Idol season (and we don't mean Jordin).

The station invited good-natured and charismatic Sanjaya Malakar to appear at a promotional concert over the weekend, featuring the busty Idol also-ran Katharine McPhee, Fergie, Lily Allen and Hillary Duff-- but when he got onstage, he was blindsided by a bunch of drag queens-- and the song "It's Raining Men"-- apparently in a bid to to turn him into a "gay" joke.

Sanjaya, who's only 17, has already been forced to "declare" himself straight in an interview with People magazine. But even if hedid happen to be gay, so what? And why make fun of anyone for that reason?

Radio stations are big these days on suspending and firing jocks for offensive behaviour on the air. How about suspending or firing these homophobic clowns? Oh, right. They can't-- because management was obviously in on it.

Lucky for Sanjaya, he's bigger than Seattle.

Complain to KISS 106.1 here. Like Ryan says, do it often.

Sanjaya doesn't give a f---

How does a teenage boy who's made it into the Top 10 of American Idol respond to a barrage of criticism and ridicule about his talent and his changing hairstyles?

Practice? Tone it down?

Not our Sanjaya Malakar. He's either having the time of his life or, more likely, he just doesn't give a f---.

And either attitude can only take him to the top!

Click here to see video of all of Sanjaya's hairstyles

Jordin Sparks: Idol's stealth contestant?

The big question from last night’s American Idol isn’t when Barry Gibb started talking like Sean Connery (well, okay, that is a big question), but whether an eventual win by 17-year-old Jordin Sparks has been in the cards from the start.

A month ago. Idol was shaping into a clash of the divas Melinda Doolittle and LaKisha Jones, but in recent weeks, thanks to some overpraising of pleasant performances (and criticism of the frontrunners) from the judges and unfortunate song choices by the competition, it’s looking more and more like the next American Idol will be the seventeen-year-old football player’s daughter who's big enough to play linebacker herself.

Which is what brings us back to January, before the season launched (but months after the auditions), when Entertainment Weekly quoted judge Randy Jackson “cryptically” predicting the winner will be ''someone with curly hair."

And then there were the auditions in Seattle, where Jordin’s inclusion, how she arrived there-- and the reception from judges-- raised a red flag when the auditions aired.

Until now, the Seattle auditions— the last ones for the season-- were memorable for Blake Lewis, Sanjaya Malakar, the Bush Baby— and the accusation that a “ringer”— a professional— was planted among the contestants.

That was Tom Lowe, a flamboyant British boy band singer who was once signed to a label that employed Simon Cowell, and profiled in the version of Idol that was shown only in the UK.

But the real ringer of the Seattle auditions may have turned out to be Jordin Sparks. In fact, the morning after the Seattle episode aired, TV critic Melanie McFarland wrote about it, indignantly, in the Seattle-Post Intelligencer:

“… one shining star stood out: 16-year-old Jordin Sparks from Glendale, Ariz. She's beautiful, has a smile that can light up L.A., and tore apart Celine Dion's ‘Because You Love Me.’

“Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!

“Seeing her is supposed to drive home the reason we keep running back to Idol. Young, ambitious and undiscovered, she embodies the dream of Idol, the idea that someone with small but bright embers of talent can, within the space of a few months, shoot from obscurity to superstardom.

“Except that's not exactly the case with this young woman.

“Out of nowhere, Abdul says she recognizes Sparks' name -- and Sparks reveals she is the daughter of former New York Giants cornerback Phillippi Sparks. What a coinky-dink!

“And that's not all! Jordin Sparks has an exhaustive Wikipedia page, where you can find out interesting facts such as: She was the Coca-Cola Rising Star in 2002. Coca-Cola, of course, being Idol's major sponsor. She also appeared in America's Most Talented Kids in 2004, toured with Michael W. Smith and sang in Alice Cooper's Christmas show. Winning Arizona Idol netted her a Ford Fusion and a trip to Seattle. Wonder if she had to wait in line?”

So... the sponsor’s favorite gets a trip from Arizona to Seattle for an eleventh-hour spot in the final, controversial audition session. Randy predicts a winner with “curly hair” (a clue that many mistook as pointing to Chris Sligh)— just as his executive producer promises (accurately) Entertainment Weekly that Sanjaya Malakar won’t make it through. The judges begin to heap extravagant praise on the young girl with the beauty pageant-High School Musical talent. She begins to overshadow her more gifted opponents.

Was her victory in the cards from the start?

Then again, Jordan could be eliminated tonight. Stay tuned.

Spector or Sanjaya?

Phil Spector sported a new coif as jury selection began in his murder trial today. Who knows what Sanjaya Malakar will have in store when he faces the American Idol jury later this week?

False Idol: Christians damned their own Chris Sligh

Jesus Christ! Who's to blame for Chris Sligh's elimination from the American Idol Top Ten?

That's how the Jeopardy! question would read. The out-of-breath doughboy with the mop of curls had a built-in constituency that should have trounced Sanjaya's Desi factor. But he never capitalized on or gave a signal to the widespread, Southern-based voting bloc-- and that could be because many had damned him for making it to Idol in the first place.

See, although Chris today claims he comes from "an indie, alternative-rock background," he's actually a product of the Christian music scene. And until recently, the Mark Volman lookalike (look it up), known to Idol fans as a jokester who went a wisecrack too far when he backsassed Simon Cowell (in the notorious "Il Divo and Teletubbies" incident), sang only the Lord's music.

Though he cites Jesus (along with Adam Duritz) among his heroes on the Idol website, Chris never played up his Christian background. He's the son of Christian missionaries, spent much of his childhood overseas, attended the conservative fundamentalist Bob Jones University, and was a favorite of the influential Gospel Music Association.

He even participated in the GMA Music in The Rockies showcase back in 2002.

But though Chris currently performs as part of the Seacoast Church "praise band" in Greenville, South Carolina, he's been the target of backlash because he recently began performing mainstream (The Devil's) pop music. Jonathan Pait, spokesman for the Bob Jones school, even said publicly: "We really are somewhat disappointed with the direction he has gone musically."

Well, we and Idol voters were also disappointed with Chris' direction-- into bland pop music and apologies (to Simon, and for his singing-- and Chris should have known that Simon's suggestion to keep the glasses was revenge for the teletubbies crack).

And let it be a lesson to future Idol contestants: Keep away from that satanic yogic lute-playing (and Studio 60 on The Sunset Strip guest star), Sting. Both Chris and Phil Bat Boy" Stacy sang boring Sting songs. Both wound up in the bottom three.

Now watch the producers slip Sanjaya the lyrics to "De Do Do Do De Da Da Da"...

(The GMA, by the way, says it recognizes three Christian Idol finalists as "keeping the faith alive": Jordin Sparks, Melinda Doolittle, and Phil.)

Sanjaya inspires a Heather Mills hunger strike

Now how would an anonymous woman claiming she'd gone on a hunger strike until Sanjaya Malakar was eliminated from American Idol become international news? The story seemed to be a fake from the start, and more so when it was propped up and pimped by a sleazy corporate infotainment website, and now it appears to have been a hoax sponsored by a weight-loss program.

But anger over Heather Mills exploiting the disabled on Dancing with The Stars? That sounds righteous, and this young man seems sincere.

Let's see if he gets half as much attention.

Melinda: What happened?

The conspiracy theorists are in overdrive this morning after Melinda Doolittle's surprise ouster from American Idol. Though Melinda has been the front-runner in the competition from the start, though she went into the semi-final vote a clear favorite-- and despite all indicators pointing otherwise-- the season's best singer was sent home in an Idol stunner not seen since... well, not since last season when Chris Daughtry was eliminated in a jaw-dropping (it was his jaw that dropped, but hey...) shocker.

While Melinda's ejection has bolstered claims that controversial sponsor-fave Jordin Sparks has been the producers' designated winner from the start, there's also the possibility that Jordin and Melinda split the powerful Southern-based "Christian" voting block. Both are "Christian" artists who have gotten the support of a campaign from the Gospel Music Association, but Jordin's profile has increased due to her prominent role as a teenage anti-abortion crusader.

Even so, there are more than a few reasons that last night's result is a chin-scratcher:

* With a clear generational difference separating them from Melinda, Jordin and Blake Lewis were expected to split the "youth vote," while Melinda was going to pick up the older, LaKisha Jones fans;

* The lead-off singer in the semi-final round has been sent home in every Idol season (that would have been Jordin);

* A contestant from the South has won the prize each time. Melinda's from Nashville-- Blake's from the Northwest and Jordin's from Arizona;

* Jordin had a bad night on Wednesday. Melinda knocked each song out of the park;

* Prognosticator DialIdol had Melinda ahead in votes all day yesterday, with Blake & Jordin neck-and-neck...

Then again, it could have been Melinda's decision to repeat her rendition of "I'm A Woman," which only reminded young voters that, pushing 30, she's a professional who's better suited for the role of American Adult.

Meanwhile, we're split on our favorite moment from last night. It's a toss-up between Ryan Seacrest kicking Blake's father off the stage and Elliott Yamin, with his face-altering new teeth, plugging Porsche on a show that wouldn't let poor Sanjaya sing "Mercedes Benz" because of sponsorship by Ford.

Will Melinda Doolittle be America's lesbian Idol?

"As long as she needs me..."

She may not have much of a neck, but Melinda Doolittle again showed tonight that she's heads above the other finalists on American Idol. She's a professional. She makes a living as a background singer. She comes with a vocal coach and stylist. At 29, she's the oldest contestant, and despite her shy onstage demeanor, she obviously knows who she is. But how soon until America gets the hint?

In tonight's episode dedicated to the rock 'n' rolling British Invasion of the Sixties, Melinda chose an obscure showtune, "As Long As He Needs Me." But in the opening line, sitting on the lip of the stage, she quite clearly enunciated, "As long as she needs me," before switching back to "he" for the rest of the song.

Will America have its first openly-gay Idol here? A few weeks back, Melinda sang the gay anthem, "My Funny Valentine" and dedicated it her two "closest" female friends, whom she called her "Gayles"-- as in "gay girls"--or as she explained, "Gayle King," the woman long rumoured to be Oprah Winfrey's lover (Melinda said she's the Oprah in the triangle). And two weeks ago, she made her mark with a strutting "I'm A Woman."

Tonight, she laid it all out. And was that a (Oprah's longtime alleged boyfriend) Stedman Graham joke when she held onto the line: "I'll cling on... sted-fast-ly..."?

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

But whether Melinda the professional is merely reaching for a voting demographic, has an Oprah jones, or playing it loud and proud... we'd say it doesn't matter! It's about time we had a gay Idol!

The real issue is whether Melinda, as a professional, should be in the contest to begin with. Because every time she sings, she's so much better than the others...

But how about that Sanjaya? He deserves to stay another week!

Heather Mills falls off her leg

Her artificial leg didn't fly off, but Heather Mills fell on her arse and flashed not only her prosthesis but her knickers as she finished the samba last night on Dancing with The Stars.

The tumble in the final moments served the dual purpose of stirring up audience sympathy and showing she's just a down-to-Earth "charity campaigner." Unfortunately, her involvement in the 40-Year-Old Virgin chest-waxing parody in the lead-in package only brought back memories of her past as an S&M porn model.

But did either influence the judges?

Of course not. They've been grading Heather on a curve from the beginning.

Female judge: "The fact that you fell at the end just reminds me of how amazing it is that you're in this competition because you run that risk every time you get on the floor! I have a to take a point off because you fell...but I so appreciate what you did!"

Old British queen: "I wouldn't take a point off for anything that you did tonight!"

Bruno: "You were in a disco diva mode tonight! Studio 54!"

Three sevens.

(And check out Heather's Sanjaya moment in the audience cutaway shots-- except instead of a crying girl, she gets Florence Henderson from The Brady Bunch.)