Monday, May 19, 2008

Lying Lohan

So the E! Entertainment network has begun rolling out the publicity for the "reality" show starring Dina Lohan, the stage mother who helped destroyed the life and career of her golden gosling Lindsay and is now hellbent on doing the same to her two youngest including the weirdly aged-looking 14-year-old Ali.

The show is a staged farce, with mother and hostages cooped up in a swank Vegas hotel, with music recording sessions in the hotel's own studio, and we all agree exists only so viewers can revel in shared superiority to a failed performer whose reported antics make the sick hags of I Know My Kid's A Star look like the Redgraves.

Which makes us wonder why network execs shied away from the in-your-face real-life reality of a propsed series staring Dina's ex-con ex husband, the evangelising wheeler-dealer (or is it wheeler dealer evangelist?) Michael Lohan, who, bound by parole and a ankle bracelet monitor, has more charisma in one of his pinky rings than Dina does in an entire layer of fake tan spray. And more unpredictability.

Ah, we answered our own question. Check out the bootlegged tape above that we were notified someone just posted. The quality's poor, but the content? Priceless.

Somebody give this guy a reality show!

And check out the email Michael sent us when he learned the details of Dina's TV plans back in March. Now that's a bit closer to the truth. And that's Living Lohan.

"I see that there was an article on the internet about Dina's Reality Tv Show concept. And while I DO support positive programming and the "truth", even if it is "Dina's" Reality Show, it goes without saying that she stole the entire concept from me (including the title), even after laughing it off when it was presented to her in 2004. You, my attornies, the press and even Dina's former attorney, Robert Cohen have proof of this!! To date, she has used all my concepts, connections and ideas for HER own purposes. I set things up for her and the kids, then she "claims" they were her ideas and then she tries to slander me ( or has someone do it for her) and then tries to get me out of the way by having we arrested or violated by lying. I even built the house she lives in and bought all the furniture for, while she had/ has her boyfriend, her family and friends enjoying the fruits of my labor. You, alot of others, myself and especially God, know it's true! But that's OK because God brings all the truth to light, and rights the wrongs in His own way. What is worldly is temporal and that which is spitirual, is eternal. She has one, I have the other.This issue AND others will go to court, and if her show is "real" - ity, then everyone will know the truth.!!! I wonder if they will have her brother, Paul Sullivan, who God exposed and was arrested by the Feds for defrauding the 911 Victims Fund , then got caught telling people involved to lie about it on a wire tap, on the show? Or how about her brother , Matthew Sullivan, who lied about my fight with him, slandered me, and then recently got arrested himself for DWI, driving with a suspended license and possesion of drugs! Or how about her, wanna be body guards, the Dux brothers, who themselves are disgraced, lying, adultress, former NY city police officers? The of course, you have all the phoney media and false portayals for Dina and about me! Rockette...ha!! Supermom !! he, he! Manager.........Please!! Watch! Watch how God reveals the truth. What you see on the show will be one thing, but Dina and the Sullivans will slip up, behind the scenes and get exposed. Reality!!! Ha! ............ E! did an episode on E! Hollywood True stories about us, and it was as FAR from the TRUTH as you can get......E! stands for entertainment, NOT "REAL" - ity!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that's what the public will get. PS ...Be well and God Bless. My dad is in the hospital again with his cancer, and it doesn't look good this time. Dina still hasn't even had the kids visit him,call, or even send a card, even after saying what good people my family are. Nice, huh!!"


Anonymous said...

They win, you lose. By the way, I see on the Google ads that your self-proclaimed hit "Cloud 9" is going for $1.25 on Amazon.

Defamer said...



As thrilled as we were to see Dina Lohan’s pity party come to life in a preview from Living Lohan yesterday, we truly wish those suits over at E! had picked the other guiding light in Lindsay’s life to trail around with cameras. A tipster alerted us to this clip, showing just another night out on the town (well, in a trailer) for Michael Lohan. We’re not sure which is more jarring: Michael’s impressions of both Cousin It and Dina Lohan, or the reminder that countless famewhores exist out there so desperate for fame they will venture into a trailer with Michael Lohan just hoping he’ll hire them to be Lindsay’s new BFF.

When the tape was shot and where is still a mystery to us, but does it really matter? Michael just sheepishly admitted he not only knows who Leif Garrett is, but isn't at all insulted when the girls-for-hire say he looks just like him. But we have to say: what's most frightening about this clip is Michael's dead-on impersonation of Dina Lohan. We can almost see the Momager spinning her sunken head around Exorcist-style and pulling out a stale punchline to boot.

Roger Ebert said...

Anon 11:50 AM

Not unusual on the price:

Crash is on sale for $1.52.

Notes On A Scandal $1.20.

Little Miss Sunshine $1.80.

Adam Sandler's Longest Yard: Eighty five cents.

It's a come-on. They get you with the shipping fees and handling charges.