Thursday, May 18, 2006

Paul McCartney's Cracking Up

Step right this way! Watch Paul McCartney melt down online:

We have decided to go our separate ways…. We have found it increasingly difficult to maintain a normal relationship with constant intrusion into our private lives…

I’m really disappointed that… certain people in the media… are writing things about Heather that are just plain untrue…

In reading the media reports that are coming out, I would urge people not to believe them. Almost everything I’m reading is 100% untrue. I urge people not to read this stuff and support Heather and myself at this difficult time.

Seeing that so many inaccurate stories have been written at the moment about Heather and myself, all I can ask people to do is not believe them and understand that most of what is coming out is made up and entirely false. Thanks for your support.

One of the sadder and more hilarious spectacles on the Internet is Paul McCartney’s website, the platform used to announce he’s separated from his young bride— the former nudie model turned Bono/Diana wannabe, the woman who’s been using his fame to promote her causes, the stepmother his kids don’t get along with, the gal who made him dye his hair and quit smoking pot, the smartie who gave birth to an heiress of her own—and to blame the media for the breakup.

Poor old guy. He’s got a billion dollars, he’s in his sixties and Ram still holds up after 35 years, yet he feels the need to make puny pop records, run out on tour and compete with the youngsters, embarrassing himself at the Grammys and still trying to play The Cute One.

So he married too soon, to a one-legged fashion model who’s obviously got issues and ambition. And Poor Paul and his people try to make Yoko Onos of all us journos, blaming us for breaking up the Beatle’s marriage.

Where's the dignity for this billionaire? Today, he's still out there, pushing his Cabbage Patch mug into the spotlight by taunting the press on his website. Every few hours, someone in the McCartney corporation is posting statements urging fans to not believe what they read-- when as recently as last week, the “news” section of the Macca site wanted us to believe everything: PAUL ON LARRY KING LIVE TONIGHT… PM.COM MENTION IN THE TIMES (UK)… PARKINSON/CHAOS AND CREATION AT ABBEY ROAD…

Now they change their tune. Hmm... we read she made him fire his publicist. Maybe Paul should hire him back. Meanwhile, we can’t wait for the next posting!

We’ll keep you posted…

(Of course, Paul and his former bandmates are shown to be a major influence throughout Tabloid Baby. See Chapter 32, "Beat The Meatles"...)


Fleshbot.com said...

Celebrity NippleWatch™: Heather Mills
Quick—what's the name of Paul McCartney's wife? (No, not Linda—we mean the new one.) Chances are that up until a few days ago most of you wouldn't have know the answer to that question, but now that the couple is in the midst of a sticky divorce Heather Mills is probably more famous than she's ever been... and not just for her selfless anti-landmine campaigning and animal rights activism. Tabloid Baby digs up some nudie shots which look like they were taken sometime in the late 80s or early 90s, judging from the hairstyle; judging from everything else, we can sort of understand why Sir Paul would have been distracted enough not to sign a pre-nup when they were married back in 1998. We're having a hard time concentrating ourselves.

Ben said...

I have to admit that picture of Heather is quite something. Sure it's not that revealing, but looking at the woman today and looking at her there...it's something.

I didn't realize she was into the nudie game back in the day.

I'm really not sure Heather is a gold digger, I think she's a loon to think she should get the same level of respect / attention as Sir Paul though.

Anonymous said...

I am disgusted! Why blame the media for their stupid lies and dirt! Heather Mills is a whore and Paul McCartney married her. I don't understand why he chose her?
She is very good in bed according to her. Imagine how low that is!
Do you still believe her about all that landmines bull-shit crap!
Paul is stupid and an idiot! Period!

Anonymous said...

Amazing that Paul and Linda didnt suffer divorce with the media attention they got! Guess you work for what you REALLY want. I knew Heather was a phoney when, in the beginning, she said she didnt know who the Beatles were....uh--and she lived in England??? Or, under a rock?? Paul is better off, next time think with the head on your shoulders, Paul.

Anonymous said...

Lay off her. She's done alot of charity work b/4 Paul and I'm sure will continue it. I did alot of things at 18 that I now regret. Haven't you?

Anonymous said...

I think Paul can do better than her.

Anonymous said...

Yeah we all do stupid things when we are teenagers like:

Drive our parents cars w/o permission

See that guy that we know is BAD for us

Cheat on a homework assignment


Heather Mills is 38 y/o now so those photos had to be taken before 1993 so I would guess 90 or so..and that would make her 22 back then and NOT 18!

Body or no body this woman has NO class and it's apparent as the media witchunt continues and more and more dirt makes it's way to the light of public forum! She's trashy and I hope she doesn't get a dime but she will! Oh and don't feel sorry for her just because she only has one leg...she's still a gold digging tramp!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday, Paul ! A young 64!

thank you for all you've done for me..."In my life"....
I don't care about the crap they've been printing....there will always be people with small minds. Just let them be !
The best to you and your family!

You will probably never see this message.....but...YES sir, I still need you at 64 or 94 for that matter!

Love always

Anne Marie
Montreal, Canada

Anonymous said...

Everybody has done something they later regret; most people don't have a lens witnessing their mistakes. The world is very jealous of Heather Mills, I believe. After all, who else can say that in one lifetime they've been nominated for a Noble Prize, slept with a Beatle on a regular basis, had the world most influential songwriter write a love song for them, done good things for humankind and, on top of that, the woman dares to have a hot, flawlessly beautiful body she isn't ashamed to show? Who would't be green with envy! If Paul still cares for her he should look beyond the crap and live out his love. Live and let live, no?

Leo said...

Can I just say it cannot be proven or disproven that Heather Mills was nominated for a Nobel prize as the nominees cannot be revealed until 50 years have passed. She is the only one who says she has been nominated. All that can be said is nominees are selected by academics and such like and with the best will in teh world it's highly unlikely any of those would have heard of a one legged former topless model

Lucy said...

Paul is no angel. Believe me. In the past 5 or 6 years, he has actually broken some laws and committed a few serious crimes in the United States and was able to get away with it because of his celebrity and his money.

Do a little research about Linda's last days.

Dr. H