1999-2010

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Update: Ex-FBI man says Sonny was murdered


"This was an evil plot that was carried out
to almost perfection by ruthless assassins."

Here's the source of that Popbitch item. Our story was in The Globe and picked up by newspapers and news outlets around the world, including The Australian:

Sonny Bono 'assassinated' by hitmen
by staff writers

SONNY Bono, former husband and singing partner of superstar Cher, was clubbed to death by hitmen on the orders of drug and weapons dealers who feared he was going to expose them, a former FBI agent claims.


Ted Gunderson, now a private investigator, has told the US Globe tabloid that Bono, who served as mayor of Palm Springs for four years, did not die after hitting a tree on a Nevada ski slope in January 1998 as everyone believed.

"It's nonsense for anyone to now try to suggest that Bono died after crashing into a tree. There's zero evidence in this autopsy report... to show such an accident happened. Instead, there's powerful proof he was assassinated.

"This was an evil plot that was carried out to almost perfection by ruthless assassins," Mr Gunderson told the paper.

The former agent, who has been researching Bono's accident for the past decade, said top officials linked to an international drug and weapons ring feared the singer-turned-politician was about to expose their crimes - so they had him killed on the slopes.

Bono, an experienced skiier, was ambushed on the slopes by hired hitmen, who beat him to death and then staged a tree collision, Mr Gunderson said.

He called for authorities to dig up Bono's remains and open a homicide investigation.

His claims have reportedly been backed by top forensics experts who fear Nevada authorities were too quick to call the death a skiing accident.

Investigator Bob Fletcher had also confessed he sent evidence of a 10-year study that linked top US government officials to arms and weapons dealers to Bono less than a month before his death, the Globe reported.

"(Bono) was going to make it his No.1 priority... There's no doubt in my mind Sonny was murdered by someone who needed him silenced," Mr Fletcher told the paper.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Carly Smithson should have taken our advice



Had failed Irish pop star Carly Hennessy Smithson taken our advice of April 4th, perhaps she would have survived on American Idol past tonight to freak everyone out for another week with her angry Kabuki facial expressions, off-putting tat sleeve, bizarre outfits and nice guy husband. As you recall, we said we'd vote for Carly when

"that lady who's tattooed on her right arm starts singing along like the talking boil on Richard E. Grant’s neck in How To Get Ahead in Advertising!"

Sadly, it was not to be.

Popbitch joins us, asking: Who Killed Sonny Bono?


Who killed Sonny Bono?

Tabloid Baby has been asking the question for close to a decade ( click here and hit “columns” for “Conspiracy Corner"), from the time our original book promotion site hit the Internet by storm with exclusive video of John-John Kennedy attacking the paparazzi and Princess Diana running over tabloid producer Jim Sheehan (click here for “Pix & Flix”).

And this evening, Popbitch, the irresponsible, indispensable, hilarious, ahead-of-the-curve and politically-connected gossip email newsletter, includes in its weekly report-- tucked between Mick Jagger’s freakishly tall, surgically-scarred galpal and Nigella Lawson seen shopping at Selfridges with “bird shit on her arse”—this item:

Conspiracy theory corner
What to worry about after Diana

There's a weird new theory that Sonny Bono didn't die in an accident, he was assassinated. Some FBI agent reckon drug and gun runners killed him on the ski slopes, through a staged ski accident. One investigator said that he sent Bono evidence that top US government officials were linked to arms and weapons dealers. Less than a month later, Bono was dead.


Every time we’ve brought up the theory, people have laughed— “He was Sonny Bono, a fool, killed by a tree, yuk yuk”— and that would make the deed all the simpler to cover up: the death of a US Congressman and top GOP fundraiser, Scientology droput, defender of the Salton Sea and enemy of drug traffickers dying within a week of a Kennedy's death on the slopes (name another time a celebrity died in a ski accident— even Spider Sabich died of a gunshot to the nuts). In January, Tabloid Baby pal and contributor Dr. Franklin Ruehl, Ph.D. took up the case and concluded:

“Overall, I would assign this particular conspiracy theory a coefficient of credibility of 50%, that is, a 50-50 chance that Sonny Bono indeed was murdered.”

Now, it seems, someone has picked up on our reopening of the case in January and the theory has kicked up the UK.

Stay tuned.

And subscribe to Popbitch here.

Our Israel Baseball Good Guy Award goes to the anonymous Iblemetrician for his love of the game


“At some point, in some post, we should point out that not everyone who has written about the Israel Baseball League in the past ten months is misinformed or behind the curve,” says Our Man Elli in Israel from a table at the Café 1868 kosher restaurant on Beth Lechem Road in Baka, Jerusalem’s last real neighborhood. “One guy in particular has been honest in his writing, pure in his study of the sport, and straightforward about giving credit where it’s due.

“I salute the man behind bIBLmetrics. He’s a software engineer who took the game and the promise of the league so seriously that he applied sabermetrics (analysis of baseball through statistics) to try and make some baseball sense out of stats from a league that was defunct the day the season ended.

“He calls himself ‘iblemetrician,’ and he spent an unbelieveable amount of time doing this for the love of the game.

“The Iblemetrician, though, he alone gave credit to Tabloid Baby for every bit of information that he shared with his readers. I don’t think there's a website editor alive who can boast that— except maybe Luke Ford, but he did it in passing. And this guy devoted all this effort, in effect, to the players themselves. And they’re the real beneficiaries of all that work. Indeed, those inside-baseball numbers he produced just might REALLY be all that the IBL players walk away with from the summer of 2007 . Those stats and the memories of having played with some really great guys.

“Look, it’s your site, I realize you’re protecting the brand and the exclusives we’ve gathered, but there’s been a real negativity recently with all the anonymous sniping. And the apologists are clever, claiming we’re actually happy that the crooks and schnooks fouled out for 2008.”

Thanks, Elli. And in fact, we we did indeed salute the Iblemetrician back in October 2007, declaring that his work, combined with Elli’s landmark expose of the IBL’s 2007 season, creates a full picture of the experience. In response, he sent us this comment:

“Glad you like the site. Thanks for the link.

 (To make sure it's clear: I don't do this for a living! I'm a software engineer with a newly-rediscovered baseball addiction.)

 In case you're curious, I enjoyed the IBL and hope it survives and thrives, but that doesn't change the fact that Elli's article was an excellent piece of journalism. It was outrageous that no local journalist cared to cover the league seriously during the season. (Reprinting league press releases doesn't count.)



“The IBL has some work to do if it wants to make this last. Avoiding and ignoring media criticism doesn't solve anything.”

Sadly, bIBLemetrics last posted in January, writing,

“The fat lady has sung. Or at least, the IAB has. Looks like the IBL won't be back in '08. 

Let's hope the IPBL folks can get their act together in time for this summer.

 Baseball is still about dreams.”

We hope professional baseball comes back to Israel in some form soon, if only so bIBLEmetrics can work its magic. Hope, as always, springs eternal, and is, of course, the thing with feathers.

Do you have a Good Guy Award nominee? Send it
here and we'll give a shoutout!

Exclusive! Heather Mills naked nude & having sex!


Crazy amputee and former porn model Heather Mills gets some more publicity in the UK tonight as a Channel 4 documentary special, “Heather Mills: What Really Happened,” sorts through the stories, lies, legends, accusations and escapades of and about a self-made public figure who, though not loved, is definitely one of the most colorful characters in pop culture. Sounds like good stuff, if only because Channel 4 docos turn out to be a lot more sordid and straightforward than the bowdlerized judgmental tabloid churned out by the 20/20 and Dateline pieces we get here (the syndicated tabloid shows simply agree to let the subject call the shots in exchange for exclusivity). And we do like how they have the balls to not put a question mark at the end of the title because we can only attempt to sort out the “truth” among all the stories that’ve come out about the one-legged fantasist since she hooked with poor old mourning Paul McCartney and fleeced him for £24 million.

Topping the list tonight is a probe into the many stories about Heather working as a “high class” call girl in her earlier days, an accusation backed by many an interview with a former hooker who’s claimed to have worked with Heather but whose veracity could always be challenged because of the British tabloids’ practice of paying for interviews (it makes it all the easier for them to take the gist of an interview and make up the quotes). Topping the bill tonight is a Geordie ex-vice girl named Denise who reminisces about her and Heather’s time together in the 1980s when she alleges they sold their bodies for sex and raked in big money.

 The 44-year-old former model has some corkers of quotes:

“We have a naughty background. We went into high-class prostitution behind closed doors. 

There were 10 of us. We are select girls from Newcastle and we kept it close-knit with three of the most powerful men in the world. (A tip of the Tabloid Baby hat to the late Kerry Packer for making that list). 

They were the big fish. We also had others who were classed as sugar daddies.

 We used to get a lot of jewellery as gifts – rings, watches, Bulgari bracelets, cars. The world was our oyster. We enjoyed it.

“We would have full-on sex with a guy. We’d do girlie-girlie scenes. Always girlie-girlie scenes.

 I mean 99.9% of men like a girlie- girlie scene. It’s a play act. You need to be an actress. Whatever you want out of life, you’ve got to act for.


“No-one knew what we did and we didn’t expect it would come out.

I don’t look on it as sleazy. It was experiencing something we couldn’t have experienced if we hadn’t done this.

I mean working-class women wouldn’t get £10,000 a night. 

People go out in Newcastle and do it for free, then can’t remember the next day who they have been with.”



Heather’s denied it. But you can go here and here and here on this misguided and unauthorized Tabloid Baby “tribute” site for lots more saucy, naked and definitely NSFW photos of Heather Mills, woman who could be a creation of Thackery or Dickens and whose picaresque adventures are not over yet.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Thanks, TMZ Staff, for showing off your illiteracy

This just in from the corporate porn-pushing gossip site TMZ.com:

Bitter "Idol" Reject Claims She's Not Bitter

Posted Apr 22nd 2008 7:15PM by TMZ Staff
Bitter: n. 1) One who complains about the length of time spent with a singing coach on a show one was kicked off of more than 5 years ago...


Note to Harvey:

It's an adjective.

bitter |ˈbitər|
adjective
1 having a sharp, pungent taste or smell; not sweet : the raw berries have an intensely bitter flavor.
(of chocolate) dark and unsweetened.
2 (of people or their feelings or behavior) angry, hurt, or resentful because of one's bad experiences or a sense of unjust treatment : I don't feel jealous or bitter.

bitter |ˈbitər|
noun:


(Let's see how long it takes them to make the fix.)

TMZ makes up a story about Lindsay Lohan


How does a corporate porn-pushing gossip site manned by subliterate dirty-minded keypunch operators churn out thirty or so smarmy items a day? In the case of TMZ.com, besides relying the flow of big bucks from its corporate overlords at AOL and Time Warner (the folks who bring you CNN, by the way), THEY MAKE IT UP.

The West Hollywood rentboys gave away the game this morning with their story on Lindsay Lohan and her supposed slide back into drinking and drugging with her pal, the Pete Doherty lookalike Samantha Ronson. In wake of our report on the need for Lindsay to take her father's advice, Page Six's report on her NYC antics and People's latest scoop on little sister Ali, TMZ came up with an "exclusive" of its own:

Lindsay Drinks 'Cause Her Parents Stink
Posted Apr 22nd 2008 11:50AM by TMZ Staff

Sources tell TMZ the source of Lindsay Lohan's recent downslide is her parents.

We're told Lindsay has been humiliated by her dad Michael going on national TV saying he got shortchanged in his divorce case. He's on a campaign trashing Dina. As for Dina, Lindsay can't believe she's pimping out Ali on a reality show. We're told that is what led Lindsay to hit the bottle Saturday night in NYC.

Ironically, we're also told Lindsay has been taking sobriety seriously, requesting a sober companion on the set of her new film. People around her are telling her not to go to clubs but she's ignoring them -- but it's not because she wants to party. Lohan is really really tight with DJ Samantha Ronson, who works in clubs -- and Lindsay is there for Sam, not the scene.

Will Lindsay go back to rehab? No plans just yet. Will she downslide or conquer? Stay tuned.


"Stay tuned?"

BULL-SHIT!

"Sources tell TMZ?" "We're told?" "We're also told?"

TMZ's use of phony "sources" is one of the oldest tricks in the tabloid book, but just as the flaccid "TMZ staff" of shaved bronzed midget frontman Harvey Levin is graceless in its use of words and attempts at double entendre, so does it fail in its use of conjecture to create a story that's logically possible, can't be denied, and ultimately will be self-fulfilling. This phony "scoop" is such an obvious space-filler that it makes Liz Smith look like Mike Walker.

If ever a story was obviously made up out of whole cloth, it's this one. Who among us is going to believe that 21-year-old actress, who's been out of control for years and managed to withstand two or three attempts at rehab and is now in the middle of a dark party crowd, is reacting to the antics of her parents, who seek her approval, not the other way around?

No, this one is an obvious public relations sop to take the heat off of Lindsay in a matter that the young adult should be forced to take responsibility for--if only to save her life. Daddy, for one, only wants to help, but once again TMZ can't sort out the heroes from the villains. The TMZ staff might be better served reading the new Chris Farley biography or better yet, this.

Meanwhile, sources tell us: What a load of bull-shit!

Tell Tel Aviv: Mighty baseball has struck out!


Another day... another supposedly cutting edge blogger a year behind the times and spewing a mishmash of factoids when it comes to the major international saga of baseball in Israel. What are we missing here? What are folks in Israel missing? Why is the "mainstream" media allowing so many people to avoid the fact that there will be no professional baseball in Israel in 2008? Months after we'd predicted it, weeks after it was confirmed, promotional websites with misleading information, league websites with information well past its sell date, and uninformed well-intentioned sports fans are leading millions of sports fan to miss the entire cycle of news broken by Our Man Elli in Israel.

The latest is on the Real Tel Aviv blogsite ("the real deal on Tel Aviv," "the best blog about Tel Aviv!!"), which this morning offers a "guest post by Chick Chick" entitled "Top 5 Tel Aviv Spectator Sports."

"Israelis are HUGE sport fans - We’ll give our heart and soul for our local teams, and we love and cheer our national teams like crazy. Tel Aviv sports the country’s hottest teams and best stadiums, and also hosts most of the national sporting events. This makes it the perfect place to get a taste of the Israeli sports scene!!"

Chick Chick offers four top sporting events of the future:

Maccabi Tel Aviv Euroleague Basketball at Nokia Arena

The Tel Aviv Football Derby at Bloomfield Stadium

World Cup 2010 Qualifying Round at Ramat Gan Stadium

International Tennis in the Ramat Hashron


Fair enough. But then he/she had to go and add a "Bonus” :

Bonus: Israeli Baseball League If you talk to a typical Israeli about baseball, he will laugh and wonder why you are interested in that stupid game with the sticks and chubby players. But since Israelis come from all over the world, some American born citizens have been able to slip this long time tradition into the holy land. In November 2007, a few Jewish-American investors announced the Israeli Baseball League, a professional league with 6 teams with names that automatically bring a smile to your face, like the Raanana Express, the Petach Tikva Pioneers, and the 2007 champions - the Bet Shemesh Blue Sox. The league has a eight week, 45 game season that takes place during July and August. If you want to catch this up and coming league in Tel Aviv, your best bet is to see the Tel Aviv Lightning or the Netanya Tigers, who both play in the Sportek Baseball Field, in the Western end of Park Hayarkon, a short walk from most of Tel Aviv’s seaside hotels. You might catch some of Major League Baseball’s future stars - in 2008, eight ILB players were signed to minor league contracts in the United States. So play ball!!!

Play ball!!!??? Chickie, baby, not this year...

Monday, April 21, 2008

Lindsay Lohan should listen to her father



Yes, word is out that Lindsay Lohan is drinking again. That picture at right portrays the former movie star over the weekend. That picture at left should have been her wakeup call close to a year ago. And of course, in both scenes, Lindsay's BFF and bromance, Samantha Ronson can be seen butching it up at her side.




Funny, no-- chilling-- that Lilo was last heard from talking on a cellphone to Billy Bush during a paparazzi funchase, reciting the PR corporate line and complaining about her father, Michael:

"What I have to say about my father is, I just wish that he wouldn't go and talk to the media. It's not attractive to me, it really upsets me and I wish he would stop…I have tried to reach out, but I can only help so much…I love my father, I just don't know why he's doing what he's doing. It's a weird situation, very odd."

Roll that one around a bit: Lindsay was upset that her father was telling the media she'd accompany him on a charity mission to India (which is the real public relations photo op her career can use right now, while removing her for at least a short time from influences far worse than her dad). Then she goes public banging back Grey Goose and Red Bulls. The girl needs to wake up and realize who does have her best interests at heart-- and daddy is one of them-- because she just passed Artie Lange in the Tabloid Baby death pool and we don't even have a death pool.

Massacres, Murders: Now THAT'S Entertainment!



Try to figure out this alert just to sent to us from the E! Entertainment network, an indication that the slaphappy scandal channel and bloated pinup killer is taking a disturbing shift away from its bailiwick in what appears to be a misguided step in the tradition of the dowagers at Entertainment Tonight turning murder trials and massacres into fun stuff, the rent boys at the corporate porn-pushing gossip site TMZ.com making crass cracks about real news like possible sex assault charges against the Premier of the Turks and Caicos Islands ("No more T&A in T&C!") or the gang at the Today show injecting themselves into real life tragedies:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

E! EXAMINES
THE MOST VIOLENT EVENTS
OF OUR TIME
IN THE STARTLING SPECIAL
"GOING POSTAL: 15 MOST SHOCKING ACTS OF VIOLENCE"
PREMIERING FRIDAY, APRIL 25 AT 8PM ET/PT

Includes Interviews With Victims' Families, First-Hand Accounts From Survivors And On-The-Scene Experts About The Dramatic Events That Shocked And Changed Our Nation


Los Angeles, CA, April 21, 2008 – In today's world, the news is filled with stories about school shootings, workplace homicides and shopping mall attacks, making violent acts seem almost commonplace. Tune in as E! examines some of the most horrifying events that shocked our nation and claimed countless innocent lives. Plus we'll reveal astonishing acts of bravery involving men and women who stepped in and saved many from certain death. The two-hour countdown special "Going Postal: 15 Shocking Acts of Violence" premieres Friday, April 25 at 8PM ET/PT, only on E!


From the Columbine High School massacre that left an indelible scar across the country to the more recent horrors that occurred at Virginia Tech, we'll explore these terrifying crimes, uncover what provoked them and examine how the world today has changed as a result of these atrocities.

The two-hour special includes interviews from victims' family members and survivors who recount the gripping life-and-death moments. Plus learn about the inspirational stories of those who sacrificed to save others. And hear from experts including psychologists, criminal profilers and key law enforcement personnel as they take you inside the warped minds of the individuals whose behavior shaped, shocked and forever changed our world. Tune in when E! presents "Going Postal: 15 Most Shocking Acts of Violence," premiering Friday, April 25 at 8PM ET/PT.

Hey, imagine tuning in to the Ryan Seacrest channeland tuning into that. But maybe we shouldn't be so surprised or offended. After all, this is the network that's bringing us Dina Lohan's reality show. And that should be ending in a body count some time in the future.

Israel baseball blogger arrives late to the game


“Think about the goals of Baseball in Israel…
Are we going over to offer a distraction?
Do they need a distraction?
Is this another example of America trying to act as a hero?”

A new baseball website has us wondering, as we’ve stopped to do more than once over the past nine months, why the mainstream sports, business and political media have overlooked, and actively ignored— the story of the Israel Baseball League and efforts to bring professional baseball to Israel-- a story that’s of such interest and importance to so many people around the world. With league founder Larry Baras a colorful, controversial and lawsuit-laden bagel baron based in Boston, with a would-be rival league headed by a controversial lawsuit-laden toymaker taking cash from auditioning athletes in Miami, and minor and semipro leagues around the world picking up IBL refugees, there would seem to be enough local angles, mysteries, sports fans and Jewish readers out there for some award-hunting reporter or editor to feel the thrill of the hunt as they follow the money.

For now, Our Man Elli In Israel has the field to himself. But the latest visiting player is "Elliott," AKA “OMmetsfan07,” the blogging Mets fan behind the 213 Miles from Shea site. His new site, The Great International Pastime (Exporting America’s Game), started up a few weeks ago with a post about baseball in Ghana (anybody seen Eladio Rodriguez?) and today lands in Israel.

Despite a year of raucous infighting, accusations and outrageousness that was enough to fill an entire website called Baseball in Israel, this new internationalist site picks up the story of the Israel Baseball League in a much simpler time, before the drama of the past year, when the spin was only starting to pick up speed, and doesn't seem to realize that greed and bad business killed off baseball in Israel in 2008:

"Baseball in Israel was one of the first topics I thought of when I decided to talk about world baseball because I feel that its known in America more than in Israel and I have often questioned the motives for it (but I do love it, don't mistake that). I root for the Modim Miracle only because of their Manager, Art Shamsky, who was a '69 Met, so I am a little biased when it comes to their teams.




"I found this video on YouTube not too long ago (about two weeks ago). The video was added online a little over a year ago, but makes a lot of insightful points subliminally. When you watch it, think about the goals of Baseball in Israel? Are we going over to offer a distraction? Do they need a distraction? Is this another example of America trying to act as a hero? 
I have been thinking about this clip now for over two weeks, and I still have not finalized my opinion about it.
"

These of course are questions first posed by Our Man Elli almost a year ago, so we don’t know whether to be frustrated that the author didn’t do a Google search of “Israel Baseball” or gratified that someone’s at least sniffing out the story. We sent Elliott a link to our site. Once again, we’ll see if the bloggers pick up where the mainstream journos dropped the ball.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Tina Fey's new movie looks funny all of a sudden


Ha! Tabloid Baby pal Kate Coe, the controversial investigative reporter, writer, media critic and until recently, star blogger for the FishBowl LA until she left the MediaBistro sweatshop-- er, family-- over a small issue like pay, is still making waves, and as we await that KateCoe.com site we keep pushing her to unroll, she sends us this, and credits her kid.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Dick Roeper? Busted CNN star was fit to be tied


From this morning's New York Post:

CNN personality Richard Quest was busted in Central Park early yesterday with some drugs in his pocket, a rope around his neck that was tied to his genitals, and a sex toy in his boot, law-enforcement sources said.


Quest, 46, was arrested at around 3:40 a.m. after a cop spotted him and another man inside the park near 64th Street, a police source said.

The criminal complaint against Quest said the park was closed at the time - something Quest should have known because of all the signs saying "Park Closed 1 a.m. to 6 a.m."

Quest was initially busted for loitering, the source said. Aside from the oddly configured rope, the search also turned up a sex toy inside of his boot, and a small bag of methamphetamine in his left jacket pocket.

It wasn't immediately clear what the rope was for.

He was charged with loitering and criminal possession of a controlled substance. His unusual get-up didn't lead to a lewdness charge because he wasn't exposing himself, the police source said.

(NY Times, April 8: "CBS, the home of the most celebrated news division in broadcasting, has been in discussions with Time Warner about a deal to outsource some of its news-gathering operations to CNN...")

Friday, April 18, 2008

Harvey Levin & his TMZ bumboys pile on a woman


We’d promised to get back to you on the issue of “the malodorous, foul… smell of feet, freed of socks, being licked”... over at the already-smelly corporate porn-pushing gossip site TMZ.com. The feet being licked, of course, belong to the powerful Hollywood establishment, while the person being stepped on by shaved bronzed midget frontman Harvey Levin and his American Apparel ad boys (who on the TMZ website are advertising tonight’s installment of its inconsequential whitewashed syndicated version as “A-Hole, Butts & Foot-Longs”-- no kidding-- click here to see for yourself), is a young woman who's going up against that very machine.

This week, as Harvey and the other boy bullies who hide behind the “TMZ Staff” (pun intended, we’re sure) byline proved they were not so cocksure as to mock the death of the father of Cameron Diaz, the star actress whose career is backed by powerful movie studio and public relations firms, the gang showed what cowards they really are and how little they know of basic tabloid precepts, by pouncing on the reputation of Jessica Gibson, a civilian who’s suing the powerful Santa Barbara celebrity Rob Lowe, for sexual harassment. And who is, in the court of law, an alleged victim.

Last week, more experienced journos (with a knowledge of Hollywood history) cast a skeptical and even cynical eye on Rob’s decision to use the Huffington Post to launch an O’Reillyesque pre-emptive strike on the impending lawsuit by claiming that he was about to be blackmailed by a former employee.

By this time, Lowe and his powerful publicists already had at least one small carbuncle of the Hollywood press in their pocket, ready, like a sniveling Sidney Falco (look it up) with a pack of phony "sources" and a bucket of slime for the alleged victim:

What follows is a selection from TMZ posts of the last week or so. Put on your gloves at TMZ and wade through the rest yourself:

April 7th
Rob Low: The Bitch Set Me Up!
Rob Lowe says he's about to be blackmailed by a former employee -- and he's not taking it lying down.

Lowe claims that a woman who worked for him for seven years just demanded $1.5 million in hush money, otherwise she's going to accuse him of what he calls "false terribles”…


April 11th
Rob Lowe Ex-Nanny Wants to Clean Up
One of the ex-employees making wild allegations against Rob Lowe and his wife has money on the brain.

Sources tell TMZ that Jessica Gibson, a former nanny of Lowe's who claims she had an affair with him, has lawyered up, and her mouthpiece has been in touch with Rob's peeps, demanding this and that -- in particular, money for OT, meals and vacation…. 

BTdubs, we're told if this gets ugly, some of the people who have been "involved" with Gibson in the past are willing to talk, and it ain't pretty.



April 15th
Lowe's Accuser Just Couldn't Get Enough Rob
The former nanny who has just sued Rob Lowe for copping feels has "issues"…


Lowe's Employees Say They've Never Met Lil' Rob
Two current employees of Rob Lowe have placed themselves firmly in the Lowes' corner, claiming they never witnessed any of the inappropriate behavior alleged by the family's former nanny...

April 16th
Rob Lowe's Accuser -- People Pleaser
So what do you do after you tell the world that your ex-boss allegedly asked you to touch his penis -- why, you do a photo shoot with People magazine of course! Sources tell TMZ Rob Lowe's former nanny Jessica Gibson blabbed to her pals back home that she did a photo shoot for this week's People. She's ready for her close-up! 

Most plaintiffs do that, right?


Lowe's Accuser is a Flirting Machine!
Sources connected to the Rob Lowe case tell TMZ, one of Lowe's accusers privately told folks there was mutual flirting going on between her and Rob, but she never mentioned sexual harassment.

Sources say while Jessica Gibson, Lowe's former nanny, worked at a Santa Barbara doctor's office, she complained all right, but only about money...
Her friends have two words for her that repeatedly come up -- party girl! And we hear she just loves herself some older men…

("BTdubs"???!!!)

Lewis Bailey's grandson has a name & new pix!



We told you this morning that legendary videographer, Country Western music authority and Tabloid Baby pal Lewis Bailey has gone and become a granddaddy for the first time (and his better half Gail has become a grandma!).

Proud Lewis sends us more photos of the latest tabloid baby... and announces the lad's name:

Hello Everyone! For those of you who haven't seen Crystal and Tommy's new addition, here are a few photos. Thomas Dillard Gary was born 7lb 5oz and is doing great! Crystal is now trying to get some much needed rest.



Will Spens died with five numbers in his cell phone


Talk about news traveling slowly. We got word this morning about Will Spens, the brawling New York City local TV news reporter we knew back in the Eighties. For some reason, we always remember Will as having a loosened tie. He was a witty and literate son of a bitch who apparently in the past decade had been estranged from his industry and battered by mental illness. He'd moved west to Santa Barbara "to pursue monastic and religious studies," where he was allegedly married briefly to a bisexual dominatrix, became homeless and died in a single car accident earlier this month.

Will Spens wasn't wearing a seatbelt. It took days for His state of mind can be gathered from the various websites he authored (here and here, for example). Sad.

Tony Russomanno, a journo from San Francisco, writes a nice tribute in the Santa Barbara Independent that begins with this recap:

"Will Spens spent 30 years reporting and anchoring on radio and television, earning two Emmys and a New York City Civilian Heroism Award. When he moved to Santa Barbara in the mid 1990s, Spens told his family he was pursuing religious and monastic studies. It is fair to say that he also struggled with psychological demons that rendered him paranoid. Nonetheless, he wrote about current events on several blogs (see willspenssummary.blogspot.com), supported journalists who were fired or resigned from the News-Press, and recently recorded radio spots on behalf of 3rd District Supervisorial candidate Dave Bearman.

"For the past 10 years, Spens lived at the Faulding Hotel. A memorial service was held there, and another at the Salvation Army, where he often ate meals and through whose auspices he visited nursing homes to talk with the residents. Friends praised his wit, his humility, and his 'genius at cutting through inauthenticities in social relations.'

"Spens died at the age of 57 in a one-car accident near the Ventura County line on April 1. His cell phone had only five phone numbers in it, all of them to major news networks."

Too much death. But another reason to raise a glass. And to think, after Chris Gaffney and Danny Federici (57 and 58), if Will had played accordion we could have said he Died in Threes.

...and a tip of the Tabloid Baby hat to veteran journo Glenn MacDonald for the tip...

Danny Federici


Video and tributes here.

While Gawker gawks, Harvey Levin takes 12"

We’ve been keeping an eye on the corporate porn-pushing gossip site TMZ.com for close to two years now, occasionally pausing to point out its unfairness, immorality, illiteracy, crassness, soullessness, perversity, coprophilia and generally bad and wrongheaded execution of the tabloid form— and for too long have gotten the impression that, to paraphrase the hateful TMZ, nobody gave a sh*t.

Well, gradually, the dead-horse beating seems to be paying off. Long after the great Hollywood Reporter columnist Ray Richmond lent his respected support, the New York-based Gawker.com has begun to take notice.

Thanks to recent staff turnover at the influential media site, fresh eyes viewed our criticism of TMZ’s cruel mockery of the death of American Idol good guy Elliott Yamin’s mother, and this week Gawker noticed that TMZ reported on the death of powerful celebrity Cameron Diaz's father, but "has not yet tried to make an awful joke about it.”

This morning, Gawker points out some of the more distasteful, pornographic and disgusting recent TMZ headlines— something we’ve been bringing to your attention for months now:


In addition to making fun of your mother's death and mocking people for supposedly aging prematurely, Harvey Levin's TMZ loves to write oh-so-clever sex-pun headlines. The one pictured ran with a story about Britney Spears being ordered to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars in lawyer's fees… Some more… will help you develop the vital skill of applying a dick joke to virtually any situation:


Nanny’s Folks—Rob Lowe Worked Her To The Bone
Beckham Likes It Tight and Right

Lowe’s Employees Say They’ve Never Met Lil’ Rob

You Can’t Keep Dick Down.

The timing of the post, by the way, cheated Gawker out of this morning’s crop (and this list is real):

Jenna Jameson: Shuck It, Slurp It
Godzilla to Subway: I Got Your 12” Right Here
Dita -- Where'd You Get Those F**k Me Pumps?
Finger It Like Baby Beckham
Lohan's Face Matches the Carpet
Von A-hole Picks the Gayest Fight Ever
Heidi and Spencer -- More Whoring To Come

Posh Pissed on by Kitson Owner?

Dr. Jan In the S**t for Fast Livin'

And that's just this morning. So far. The wives of TMZ’s corporate overlords, as well as AOL and Time Warner shareholders must be very proud to be associated with the site fronted by shaved bronzed midget Harvey Levin.

But there's something even more malodorous and foul that's been reeking from TMZ in recent days: the smell of feet, freed of socks, being licked.

We'll get to that later today.

Exclusive! Lewis Bailey is a Granddaddy!


It's a boy!

Congratulations to Crystal and Tommy!

Send your cheers to Lewis here!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Hey! Check out this parody of The Office!


Very funny, in an office party gag reel kind of way. Even so, we'd say it's worthy of a local Emmy in Boston...

Barry Nolan's O'Reilly attack gets new attention


With the story picked up a week after it broke by the influential Wonkette political media site, it looks as though former tabloid television host Barry Nolan has gone and changed his obit with his campaign to deny former Inside Edition host and current tabloid television superstar Bill O'Reilly a special Emmy in Boston-- the TV market O'Reilly left behind and to which Barry returned after the TMZ-centric tabloid television business swept him aside.

Today, Wonkette posts:

'Mental Case' Bill O'Reilly Urged Not To Attend Boston Emmys

A Boston area cable news host thinks Bill O'Reilly is such a dangerous "mental case" that he should not be the guest of honor at the Boston/New England Emmys. This brave crusader even offers up evidence that O'Reilly's crazy loofah rants are signs of an actual personality disorder or something.

CN8 personality Barry Nolan got ahold of an Indiana University study that offers incontrovertible truth that Bill O'Reilly is a frightful asshole. According to this scientific report, O'Reilly "calls a person or group a derogatory name once every 6.8 seconds on average," which proves he is a mental case.

For this reason, O'Reilly should be run out of town on the short bus instead of being honored at this swank local television affair. But awards organizers disagree, arguing that O'Reilly's nuttiness and douchebaggery pale in comparison to the wonderful fact that he worked in Boston once.

Wonkette not only failed to recognize Barry as a former tabloid television star (and member of Mensa), but left out the most amusing part of his ill-advised name-calling campaign-- his promise to bring actual mental case (and O'Reilly aura leech) Keith Olbermann to the awards show as his "date."

Meanwhile, the attention-grab has led Barry, who is now a panelist on a radio quiz show and apparently the host of a local cable TV entertainment show (a New England version of Dr. Ruehl?), to be ridiculed as an out-of-touch liberal pinhead and opponent of Free Speech-- an image problem compounded, after our initial report, by his decision to attack our editor, Tabloid Baby author Burt Kearns, as a drama queen and liar-- and accuse him of being sober.

It also triggered an immediate backlash from New Englanders, the media in general, and most embarrassingly, a former chancellor of Boston University, who said O'Reilly was not only deserving of the award but "a remarkably evenhanded journalist... a credit to our school and a worthy mentor to students."

But with the continuing interest in the story, and its slow build across the Internet, there's clear that Barry may one day be remembered less as a former host of Hard Copy than as a footnote in a future edition of an O'Reilly biography

Da Baras Code: Israel baseball profits vs. prophets


"No baseball in '08 really? Who's your source?" "It ain't over 'til it's over." When it comes to baseball in Israel, the pioneer spirit of the nation and American businessmen's undying thirst for profit will guarantee that blips and blasts about the possibility of a 2008 season will continue through New Year's Eve. And thought we're sticking with the news we broke back in January (and which the so-called "mainstream" sports media has yet to catch on to) that 2008 is a wash, Our Man Elli in Israel and our staffers in the home office keep in touch with our sources and keep an eye on the usual websites, including that of the Israel Baseball League, which still offers directions to the ballparks (at least one of which doesn't exist) and promises a season that's not be be:

Opening Day has been set for Sunday, June 22nd, with two exciting games taking place. At Gezer Field, the IBL Champion Bet Shemesh Blue Sox will be playing host to its arch rival, the Modi’in Miracle. And at the Baptist Village, a future rivalry will be born when the Tel Aviv Lightning takes on the new Jerusalem Lions. Both games are scheduled to begin at 6 p.m.

But there's more fodder on the IBL site that seems even more outrageous in light of the debts and outrage Larry Baras and his team left behind after 2007: A claim, written by Baras' father, that the IBL was the logical culmination of Biblical prophesy.

BASEBALL IN THE TIMES OF OUR FOREFATHERS
Compiled by Hyman S. Baras

While baseball is generally considered a “modern” sport, there are references in the Bible that could lead one to deduce that, in fact, baseball dates back thousands of years. Along the same line of thinking as The Da Vinci Code, note the pattern of the following passages, which clearly illustrate that there were Giants in those days as well.

* And Abner said to Joab, “Let the young men…arise and play before us” -- Samuel II 2:14

*…and all the people rose up… -- Exodus 33:8

* And Juhoshaphat the son of Ahilud was the recorder; and Sheva was the scribe…” -- Samuel II 20:24
* And they said unto Jephtha, “Come and be our Captain” -- Judges 11:6

* ...and he measured two lines… -- Samuel II 8:2
* ...and he set the bases… -- Kings I 7:39

* And they stood every man in his place round about the camp -- Judges 7:21
* Behold, Rebecca came forth with her pitcher… -- Genesis 24:45

* Ehud, the Benjamite, a man left-handed… -- Judges 3:15

* The children of Israel asked,…”Who shall go up for us first against the Canaanites? -- Judges 3:15

* ...Seek out a man who is a skillful player… -- Samuel I 16:16

* ...Judah shall go up first… -- Judges 20:18

* And Judah took… -- Judges 1:18

* Three times… -- Exodus 23:14

* ...and it was good… -- Genesis 1:4

* And Abram went down… -- Genesis 12:10

* ...out at the base… -- Leviticus 4:18
* And Moses …smote… -- Exodus 7:20

* ...and (it)…was foul… -- Exodus 7:21

* And Moses went out… -- Numbers 11:24

* ...and none came in… -- Joshua 6:1

* ...and there was not a man left… -- Joshua 8:17

* And Miriam was shut out… -- Numbers 12:15

* And the children of Benjamin went out… -- Judges 20:31

* ...and went into the field… -- Numbers 22:23

* ...and Aaron waved… -- Leviticus 9:21

* And he looked this way and that way… -- Exodus 2:12

* ...and he delivered up… -- Numbers 21:3

* ...and they ran as soon as he had stretched his hand…And they fell on their faces to the ground… -- Judges 13:20

* Get thee up; wherefore liest thou upon thy face? -- Judges 7:10

* ...for it was an error… -- Numbers 15:25

* ...second and third… -- Genesis 6:16

* And Joseph spoke… -- Genesis 45:3

* ...concerning the error which he had committed… -- Leviticus 5:18

* ...make an atonement for thyself… -- Leviticus 9:17

* Thou shalt fan them… -- Isaiah 41:16

* Then Joseph commanded to fill…the…sacks… -- Genesis 42:25

* ...and all the people saw this and they shouted… -- Leviticus 9:24

* Who can stand before the Giants? -- Deuteronomy 9:2

* ...and Aaron waved… -- Leviticus 9:21

* ...and pitched on the other side… -- Numbers 21:13
* And suffered not a man to pass… -- Judges 3:28
* ...but…the seventh… -- Exodus 31:15
* Gideon… smote… -- Judges 8:21

* ...Israel…at first… -- Joshua 8:33

* And Noah went in… -- Genesis 7:7

* And the young man ran… -- Numbers 11:27

* ...he turned and went back… -- Judges 18:26

* ...unto the base… -- Numbers 8:4

* Noah walked… -- Genesis 6:9

* Let us go and sacrifice… -- Exodus 5:8

* And Moses lifted up his hand and with his rod he smote… --Numbers 20:11

* ...the hide… -- Leviticus 9:11

* ...a long blast… -- Joshua 6:5

* ...outside the camp… -- Judges 7:17

* ...for an ‘omer… -- Exodus 16:36

* And the men of Israel and of Judah arose, and shouted… -- Samuel I 17:52


You Israel baseball fans know the Bible better than we do. Can you think of any Biblical passages the Barases may have left out?

(UPDATE FROM OUR MAN ELLI IN ISRAEL: "I might add: the New York Times had a few of those Bible quotes on its Op-Ed page about 25 years ago. I'd clipped and saved the article, and gave it to Baras, who said he hadn't seen those. I never got it back from him.")