Lindsay Lohan's latest picture

A Lohan picture worth a thousand words

Lindsay Lohan's loving mother Dina followed Lindsay into court this morning on the talented but troubled actress' way to jail. Think mama has issues?

Lindsay Lohan goes back to jail

Her father's prayers were not enough.

(Michael Lohan has issued a statement through his attorney: "Michael spent the morning praying for his daughter. He's devastated she's going to jail. He loves her very much and he'll pray for her."

Lindsay Lohan watch: This week

With her father taking the heat off concerning her dangerous spiral, Lindsay Lohan carried on regardless on the party circuit this week, among them the Twilight: New Moon premiere bash in Hollywood.

Lindsay Lohan watch continues

Lindsay Lohan, Friday night into Sunday morning...

Somebody save Lindsay Lohan

With all his media interactions, eagerness and ability to get into the headlines with a soundbite or a quote, Tabloid Baby pal Michael Lohan has found himself in the position of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. His real concern over the health of his daughter Lindsay is being written off as the latest outburst of a publicity whore, when in fact Michael Lohan is right, the worries are real, young Lindsay's obsession with Marilyn Monroe is a lot more dangerous she and her people would have us think, and if her father isn't allowed to, someone should before she joins her friends Heath Ledger and Adam Goldstein.

Put it this way: This is the face of a 23-year-old.

This week... and 2004

TMZ makes up a story about Lindsay Lohan

How does a corporate porn-pushing gossip site manned by subliterate dirty-minded keypunch operators churn out thirty or so smarmy items a day? In the case of TMZ.com, besides relying the flow of big bucks from its corporate overlords at AOL and Time Warner (the folks who bring you CNN, by the way), THEY MAKE IT UP.

The West Hollywood rentboys gave away the game this morning with their story on Lindsay Lohan and her supposed slide back into drinking and drugging with her pal, the Pete Doherty lookalike Samantha Ronson. In wake of our report on the need for Lindsay to take her father's advice, Page Six's report on her NYC antics and People's latest scoop on little sister Ali, TMZ came up with an "exclusive" of its own:

Lindsay Drinks 'Cause Her Parents Stink
Posted Apr 22nd 2008 11:50AM by TMZ Staff

Sources tell TMZ the source of Lindsay Lohan's recent downslide is her parents.

We're told Lindsay has been humiliated by her dad Michael going on national TV saying he got shortchanged in his divorce case. He's on a campaign trashing Dina. As for Dina, Lindsay can't believe she's pimping out Ali on a reality show. We're told that is what led Lindsay to hit the bottle Saturday night in NYC.

Ironically, we're also told Lindsay has been taking sobriety seriously, requesting a sober companion on the set of her new film. People around her are telling her not to go to clubs but she's ignoring them -- but it's not because she wants to party. Lohan is really really tight with DJ Samantha Ronson, who works in clubs -- and Lindsay is there for Sam, not the scene.

Will Lindsay go back to rehab? No plans just yet. Will she downslide or conquer? Stay tuned.

"Stay tuned?"

BULL-SHIT!

"Sources tell TMZ?" "We're told?" "We're also told?"

TMZ's use of phony "sources" is one of the oldest tricks in the tabloid book, but just as the flaccid "TMZ staff" of shaved bronzed midget frontman Harvey Levin is graceless in its use of words and attempts at double entendre, so does it fail in its use of conjecture to create a story that's logically possible, can't be denied, and ultimately will be self-fulfilling. This phony "scoop" is such an obvious space-filler that it makes Liz Smith look like Mike Walker.

If ever a story was obviously made up out of whole cloth, it's this one. Who among us is going to believe that 21-year-old actress, who's been out of control for years and managed to withstand two or three attempts at rehab and is now in the middle of a dark party crowd, is reacting to the antics of her parents, who seek her approval, not the other way around?

No, this one is an obvious public relations sop to take the heat off of Lindsay in a matter that the young adult should be forced to take responsibility for--if only to save her life. Daddy, for one, only wants to help, but once again TMZ can't sort out the heroes from the villains. The TMZ staff might be better served reading the new Chris Farley biography or better yet, this.

Meanwhile, sources tell us: What a load of bull-shit!

Michael Lohan sneaks onto Celebrity Apprentice

Michael Lohan made it onto NBC's The Celebrity Apprentice, after all.

We reported exclusively back in October that Lindsay Lohan's controversial evangelist dad was Donald Trump's personal pick to be one of the quasi-celebrities competing for a place at his feet, but that NBC lawyers put the kibosh on the idea because Lohan remains on parole. Lohan's pal, The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas actor-turned-skateboard evangelist Stephen Baldwin jumped in to take his place.

Well, the lawyers might not have realized, but Lohan appeared on the episode that aired last night.

In a segment ridiculing Baldwin's inability to attract even the most tangential celebrity to appear at a charity event, the Brylcremed Born Again is seen on his cell phone asking, "Where's Lindsay?"

Lohan's distinctive voice is heard to reply (without skipping a beat):

"She's in L.A."

Lohan's cameo comes amid word that his wild reality series, billed as the counterpart and antidote to his ex-wife Dina's exploitative show, may be back in play.

Now Michael Lohan wants to sue Ashton Kutcher

Lindsay Lohan's father Michael has more than one new television "reality" show to be mad about. While he’s screaming about his ex-wife Dina stealing his ideas and title for her new Living Lohan series on E!, we hear he’s also ready to climb into the legal ring against television production heavyweight (and Demi Moore husband) Ashton Kutcher.

Kutcher’s latest show, Pop Fiction, premiered on E! last week, and appears to be a twist on his series Punk’d-- instead of “punking” celebrities, the celebs are punking the people.

But as viewers of this site would know, Pop Fiction is very similar to Deeds, Lohan’s show pilot that was featured in The Michael Lohan Reality Project salestape that was a huge hit on YouTube (the one in which he dressed up as a homeless person).

As seen in the clip above, Lohan stands before a "Punk’d" logo and says:

“Deeds is a lot like the show, Punk’d.
It’s about celebrities going into the streets, in disguise.
And getting people to do good deeds.”

We reported on Friday reported that Michael Lohan is up in arms over his ex-wife Dina’s alleged appropriation of his reality show concept and title with the new “Living Lohan” show on the E! network. And Michael has a point, since his original concept, “Living with The Lohans,” was pitched and publicized a few years ago-- with the twist of Michael and Dina giving it another shot for the sake of the kids.

And remember that the Bible-thumping parolee’s own reality show was nixed largely because of Dina’s ties to the Hollywood machine -– not to mention, insiders say, because of the Christian angle (the networks do not want to tread on sacred turf).

In any case, the rejection was short-sighted in light of Michael’s activities in the months since he made the rounds of pitch meetings (and then, in a boneheaded moment of panic, denied the show even existed!)-- reconciling with Lindsay, reuniting his family, and getting in the papers on a weekly basis.

What about the producers of The Michael Lohan Reality Project? We spoke this morning to Brett Hudson one of our pals at Frozen Pictures.

“We have no argument or issues with E! or Ashton or Dina," Brett said. "I understand Michael’s frustration, but there are lots of reasons our series hasn’t been picked up yet. And his legal status (note: Lohan is on parole) is top of the list. And if you want to know the truth, I've got bigger issues with Michael. This show isn't going anywhere until he pays back the money he owes us."

Whoa. Sounds like an update is in the offing. Stay tuned.

EXCLUSIVE!!!! MICHAEL LOHAN GOES BALLISTIC OVER EX-WIFE'S REALITY SHOW! CLAIMS THEFT OF IDEAS, CONCEPT & TITLE!

Lindsay Lohan’s father Michael has given his blessing in the past to his ex-wife’s rival “reality” series, but now that Dina’s show has been picked officially by E!, he's fighting mad, and charging larceny of the concept... and title!

Michael emails us about “this ‘Living Lohan’ thing”:

“Dina took our entire concept and used it....Including the name. Ours was ‘Living with the Lohans’....hers is "Living Lohan". How creative!!!!

"I spoke to Dominic (Barbara), Ben (Petrofsky), Barry Gross and John Di Mascio, all attornies, and every one confirms that I pitched the exact same show to Dina back in 2004. It was even in the press when Dina and her bodyguard (Ty Dux) leaked it out and even said, what a stupid idea it was. IT IS OUR INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY! I believe that you even said that you pitched it to Bunim and Murray. You should do a whole piece on this…"

Our pals at Frozen Pictures are the ones behind The Michael Lohan Reality Project, the brilliant but so-far too-controversial-for-television reality series staring Daddy L and the colorful characters—from Rev. Jimmy Jack to Lindsay—in his new life. The concept—Lohan out of prison, out to reunite his family, save his famous daughter and, as a minister with an evangelical outreach program, save others—all the while dancing on the razor edge of parole and coming up with his own television show ideas—was captured in a wild sales tape that became an Internet hit after Perez Hilton went with it (see it on the right hand side of this site).

The hipsters at Defamer called it:

“the mind-fuck Michael Lohan reality show… watching Mikey sending former Baywatch babes into the arms of perverts, traipsing around cities in a Tyra-like attempt to see what it feels like to be homeless, and beginning the video pitch while standing in front of a glamour shots cloud background…”

Alex Blagg of VH1’s Best Week Ever wrote:

“Look at this clip reel, and for the love of God, give Michael Lohan the reality show he so desperately wants. Who needs Jim & Pam & The Office?... The most talented comedy genius on the planet couldn’t come up with this stuff.”

Michael did indeed pitch to Dina a show called "Living with The Lohans" as an alternative to his big-money divorce demands before he went off to prison three years ago. And the big, powerful Hollywood publicists linked to Dina and once-golden goose Lindsay did much to keep Michael's reality project off the air. But why a network honcho wouldn’t take his show and pair it with Dina’s, creating

The Living La Vida Lohan Loco Hour

is beyond us. Those Lohans are a hell of a lot more interesting than the Kardashians. Or Paris Hilton. Or those housewives in Orange County. Or Manhattan. Or those little people.

Dina Lohan gets her reality show

The following news release showed up in the Tabloid Baby mailbox this morning. Lindsay Lohan's mother is getting her reality show on the E! network. This was the reality show originally called "Momager" that she was hawking and filming while her golden gosling Lindsay was in rehab-- the one in which she pimps out her two youngest kids onto the Hollywood tray the way she served up Lindsay. This is is a big reason the inspirational reality show featuring her ex-husband Michael Lohan (see the trailer at the right of this page) never got any traction. A few years ago, people would have called Child Services to take a good look at a woman like this.  Nowadays, they just give her a reality show so we can all look and feel superior while a couple of more Lohan kids hop onto the sled to Hell.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
E! ENTERTAINMENT TELEVISION ANNOUNCES NEW NONSCRIPTED SERIES
STARRING CELEBRITY MOM DINA LOHAN AND DAUGHTER ALI LOHAN

Bunim-Murray Productions and Maloof Television Present "Living Lohan" (Working Title), Debuting Summer 2008 on E!

Los Angeles, CA, March 4, 2008 – E! Entertainment Television will debut a new nonscripted series starring celebrity mom extraordinaire Dina Lohan and her youngest daughter, up-and-coming teen star Ali Lohan (14). Viewers will go inside the Lohan's Long Island home for the first time to follow Dina as she works double duty as mom and manager to help Ali try to follow in her big sister's famous footsteps and pursue her own shot at stardom. Co-produced by Bunim-Murray Productions and Maloof Television, "Living Lohan" (Working Title) will debut summer 2008 on E!

Dina has faced intense scrutiny over the past year due to daughter Lindsay's (21) highly publicized mishaps and her long-simmering divorce from her ex-husband. But the Lohan family has demonstrated great resiliency and, with Dina at the helm, they are moving on with their lives. Dina is determined to help each of her four kids fulfill their dreams and refuses to live in fear of what others may think, despite being under the paparazzi microscope.

E!'s cameras will follow the single mom every step of the way as she manages Lindsay's hectic schedule, while helping Ali jump start her music and acting career. This takes the family to the Palms Casino in Las Vegas, where Ali will record tracks for the Maloof's Interscope-based record label. Having grown up in the shadow of her sister's stardom and much publicized lifestyle, Ali is determined to achieve her own brand of success. But Dina is more experienced this time around and will do everything she can to protect Ali from the pressures and temptations of young Hollywood.

The series will also feature Dina keeping track of her son Cody (11) whose sports teams, homework and endless energy are enough to keep any soccer mom busy, as well as her older son, on-the-go college student Michael (20). Viewers will get to know the Lohan's close-knit extended family as well.

"The Lohans are one of the most intriguing families in the entertainment industry today," said Lisa Berger, Executive Vice President, Original Programming and Series Development for E! "This is a family that knows how to roll with the punches and come out on top. Dina is an incredibly hard-working, passionate mom that I think our viewers will find both relatable and highly entertaining."

"We are excited to be in business with the Lohan family and E! and look forward to a memorable series," said Phil Maloof, Chairman and CEO, Maloof Productions. "This series will provide an entertaining and unprecedented look at one of the most recognized families in America."

"We've been given unprecedented access to Dina Lohan and her kids lives; as a result, our series will deliver a powerful story that will both surprise and delight E!'s viewers," said Jonathan Murray, President, Bunim-Murray Productions.