Will Larry G Jones fill Danny Gans' shoes?

Can Larry G Jones fill Danny Gans' signature black-and-white spectator shoes?

The world is about to find out as one of the many musical impressionists influenced by the late Las Vegas superstar is about to confront the legend head-on with his own one-man comic singing impressionist show on the Las Vegas Strip-- produced by Gans' close friend, collaborator and drummer.

We told you about musical impressionist Larry G Jones back in January, when he made a splash with a well-timed Tiger Woods parody. while working the Royal Resort Hotel just off the Strip. Now it's been announced that Jones will be moving to Planet Hollywood's Harmon Theatre on June 8th.

"This fast-paced fun filled show features an all-star celebrity cast of rapid-fire voice impressions including many of Las Vegas' biggest headliners. Cher, Elton John, Neil Diamond, Elvis, The Phantom of the Opera, and The Rat Pack are a part of the 75 plus voices Larry performs in each show. When you throw a few comedians, Hollywood celebrities, and presidential voices in the mix, there is enough comedy and music to appeal to just about everyone."

The show is produced by Raphael Erardy, who was Gans' drummer and confidante for 20 years, until Gans' tragic and untimely death at 52 on May 1, 2009.

The Larry G Jones - Comic Singing Impressionist show opens June 8th at the Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino's Harmon Theater, 3663 S. Las Vegas Blvd, Las Vegas, NV 89109. The Harmon Theater entrance is located next to Krave Nightclub on the corner of the Las Vegas Blvd. & Harmon Ave. Tickets for the 7pm show will be $47.97 for general admission and VIP/Open bar tickets are available for $67.97. Shows will be nightly except for Sunday and Thursday. For show tickets call 702-836-0830 or book online at LarryGJones.com.

Danny Gans' drummer makes new impression with new impressionist

Members of the Las Vegas news media who do things differently when left to their own devices can pretend that Danny Gans was is a forgotten performer known to few outside their sin city, but his legacy lives on in the work of other artists, some with a direct link to the great musical impressionist who died suddenly eight months ago.

The very timely Tiger Woods parody performed above by impressionist Larry G Jones is getting big laughs at his show at the Royal Resort hotel just off the Strip between the Riviera and Encore (where Gans once ruled), and was written by Jones along with Raphael Erardy, who was not only Gans' drummer for two decades, but his close personal friend.


Jones tells JacksonNJ.com: "Raphael and I are working together on a new TV show project set to launch on a new cable station in March 2010 and to re-produce my live Las Vegas show to take it to the next level. Runaround Sue was already in my show as a completely different parody. When Raphael came to me with the Tiger Woods twist on the song I thought it was a great idea so we collaborated and came up with this final version.”

Like Danny Gans, Larry G Jones bills himself as a "corporate" and "clean comedian." While Gans was known as The Man of Many Voices, Jones is billed as "The Man of 1002 Voices."

Tan line betrays TMZs JFK photo as fake

Has the mainstream news media gone so soft and stupid that they'll buy anything these days just because it's put out there by a corporate porn-pushing gossip site? TMZ.com and its shaved bronzed midget frontman chose the dead zone between Christmas and New Year's, when the B teams are running the copy and assignment desks, to squeeze out a conveniently-crumpled photo purportedly to show John Fitzgerald Kennedy sunning himself on a yacht while a bevy of naked beauties dive, sun and climb around him. The sleazy subliterates claim the photo was taken pre-Presidency in the "mid-1950s" and that "TMZ had multiple experts examine the photo -- all say there is no evidence the picture was Photoshopped."

No evidence? Start with "JFK"'s head. Why, if, as the experts claim, there is no sign of photoshopping or other manipulation, does the head appear to be lopped apart from the body and surrounded by a black shadow?


The least we could expect from the TMZ boys is good head.


As for the women: Are the bodies era-appropriate? And, more obviously, is the tan line on the woman at right typical of the mid-1950s?


Why are we even wasting time on this? Well, remember that lazy fellow journos take the site seriously, and cite it as a source. In fact, this morning, TMZ's biggest cheerleader, New York Times boy blogger Brian Stelter, writes a fawning appreciation while pushing TMZ's flier that it's opening a TMZ sports division (see, Tiger Woods was a good story, so naturally...)

Tabloid Baby makes Baseball Hall of Fame

Our Man Elli in Israel has discovered a fact that Pulitzer Prize gatekeeper Sig Gissler might have found interesting before unceremoniously rejecting our nomination: Tabloid Baby has earned a place in The National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum in Cooperstown!

Our groundbreaking, exclusive, historic coverage of the benighted single season and wacky aftermath of the Israel Baseball League was cited as a major source in The Cooperstown Symposium on Baseball and American Culture, 2007-2008, discussed at length in the hallowed Baseball Hall of Fame, and immortalized in print in the recent book edited by William M. Simons.

Gaining special attention was Elli Wohlgelernter's bombshell exposé of the IBL, an article that first appeared on this site exclusively days after the season ended as Can't Anyone Here Run This Game, and causing an international sports firestorm the likes of which would not be seen until the Tiger Woods scandal.


Read all of Tabloid Baby's Israel Baseball League coverage at our Baseball in Israel site.

Danno: I never 'worked' for Tiger Madame!

Hollywood private eye Danno Hanks, whose entrance into the Tiger Woods scandal through an ABC news report coincided with Wood's decision to take a hiatus from his golf career, has an important clarifcation to make. While we quoted ABC News' report that Danno had confirmed that Woods was a client of recent Hollywood Madame Michelle Braun, and cited Danno's authority as the hard word that sent Woods into deeper seclusion, Danno wants to make it clear that ABC News was incorrect in stating that he'd "worked" for the madame.

Writes Danno:

"I never 'worked' for Michelle Braun (AKA: Nici's Girls). What I did do is 'infiltrate' her operation, posing as a guy who could obtain background information on potential clients and girls. This was done while I was working for Fox Undercover, a Los Angeles-based news program for KTTV11.

"This allowed me to gain access to about 90% of her client and call girl list. After I left Fox news, I turned over my files to the IRS & FBI. Some of that information was eventually used to convict her in federal court.

"Amazingly, Michelle Braun did not treat me with ill will, and continued to talk with me. When she realized that her run as a madam was over, she decided to cut a deal with the feds and focus on writing a book. Last Wednesday, I met with her for a few hours at a house owned by a friend of hers in Marina Del Rey. It was during that meeting that she told me about supplying girls to Tiger Woods. Prior to that meeting, and other than her statement, I had no prior knowledge of, or any proof that Tiger was a 'client' of Nici's Girls. And the 'proof' that she offered was nothing more then two IRS1099 forms that she generated only after the Tiger Woods story broke, claiming the employment of Holly Joy Sampson and Jamie Sue Jungers by the 'Global Travel Network'."

"Both of these women admit to having had sex with Tiger. However, both of them deny ever being in the employment of Michelle Braun, or any of her companies."

Danno Hanks forced Tiger Woods to quit golf

Tiger Woods could have avoided most all of this mess if he had only gotten in front of the story and changed the headline as soon as the corporate porn-pushing gossip site TMZ started posting unfounded rumours and conjecture that odds indicated would pay off (every tabloid journo had already figured that a two a.m. front yard car wreck and a National Enquirer front page mistress story added up to a scuffle with the missus-- the only problem was confirming it, a slight nuisance that CNN's bastard cousin has a history of ignoring) and mainstream organizations began treating it conveniently as fact. Sad that a billionaire corporate sports star doesn't have the advisers or organization to handle a simple problem like that-- let alone an understanding with a former nanny wife from who he's separated for probably six months out of the year. But in the middle of it all, it's worth mentioning that it wasn't the corrupt scumbags at TMZ or any of the attention-seeking sex partners who caused Tiger Woods to walk away from his job and go into deep hiding, but a legendary tabloid television private eye.

Hollywood dick Danno Hanks drove the final nail in the Tiger Woods story when he provided the evidence that backed recent Hollywood madame Michelle Braun's claim that Tiger paid for her prostitutes. After Danno's quote hit the wires, Tiger threw in the towel. As well the superstar should have, because Danno has always known where the bodies are buried when it comes to Hollywood scandal. Along the way in his illustrious and colorful career and lives, he did the undercover work for the tabloid television giants in the glory days of A Current Affair and Hard Copy, earned himself a place in the book Tabloid Baby, including the story of how he came up with wiretapped phonecalls from then-Hollywood madame Heidi Fleiss.


And note it was ABC News that quoted Danno in the hours before Tiger quit.

As OK! magazine reports:

"That scandal grew today amid allegations from Hollywood madam Michelle Braun that she arranged meetings with Tiger and at least four prostitutes from 2006 to 2007 for a total cost of $60,000, according to the New York Post.

“'Tiger has been one of Michelle’s clients for years,' private investigator Dan Hanks, who worked for Braun, checking her clients’ backgrounds, told ABC News.com.

"Hanks, who had access to Braun’s client list and spoke with Braun earlier in the week about Tiger, said he knew of an occasion in which Tiger hired three prostitutes at one time for an evening in Las Vegas..."

UPDATE: Danno Hanks clarifies:

"I never 'worked' for Michelle Braun (AKA: Nici's Girls). What I did do is 'infiltrate' her operation, posing as a guy who could obtain background information on potential clients and girls. This was done while I was working for Fox Undercover, a Los Angeles-based news program for KTTV11.

"This allowed me to gain access to about 90% of her client and call girl list. After I left Fox news, I turned over my files to the IRS & FBI. Some of that information was eventually used to convict her in federal court.

"Amazingly, Michelle Braun did not treat me with ill will, and continued to talk with me. When she realized that her run as a madam was over, she decided to cut a deal with the feds and focus on writing a book. Last Wednesday, I met with her for a few hours at a house owned by a friend of hers in Marina Del Rey. It was during that meeting that she told me about supplying girls to Tiger Woods. Prior to that meeting, and other than her statement, I had no prior knowledge of, or any proof that Tiger was a 'client' of Nici's Girls. And the 'proof' that she offered was nothing more then two IRS1099 forms that she generated only after the Tiger Woods story broke, claiming the employment of Holly Joy Sampson and Jamie Sue Jungers by the 'Global Travel Network'."

"Both of these women admit to having had sex with Tiger. However, both of them deny ever being in the employment of Michelle Braun, or any of her companies."

Richard Abowitz opens Gold Plated Door

Richard Abowitz is not wasting any time getting back into the game after having the distinction in recent weeks of losing both his blog on the Los Angeles Times website due to cost cuts and his print column in the Las Vegas Weekly due to the impending death of the newspaper industry.

The Dean of Las Vegas pop culture writers has started up a new site called Gold Plated Door (see Sin City) which he describes as "an honest broker reporting on all things Vegas," and which will include his unique take on Vegas news, show business, media, and hopefully, anything else he wants to write about.


The site's first "test post," which gives an idea of his style and what's ahead, focuses on Tiger Woods:

"...the most boring celebrity I ever interviewed. I should not be surprised, the connection between a VIP host and a louche celebrity, remains typically Vegas, even if for Woods, Vegas turns out to be only one geographic stop of globetrotting infidelity.

"I interviewed Woods for Tiger Jam, his annual charity concert at Mandalay Bay, a few years ago, and I was given 5 minutes with the golf legend. I have turned down a couple interview offers since. We were done at 3 minutes. He was nice and all, but the money was not worth the time. Woods is boring. When I had no golf questions he was without anything to say. He mentioned that he had little to do with the acts that were playing his concert. He could not name a single song he liked by any of the bands that were performing unless you count 'All of them' as an honest answer and not an expression of total ignorance... Woods did offer to me that his favorite song of all time was 'Eye of the Tiger' and then he explained the pun with his name in case that could be missed. The most memorable thing about the interview was that it is the single time a publicist has asked to search me before I entered an interview room. Did he think I was dangerous? No, he wanted to make sure that I had no golf memorabilia on my person for Woods to sign..."

He refused to be searched.


Abowitz is known not only as the most knowledgeable journo in town, but for his taste for classic literature, self-revelatory writing about his fascinating life and obsessions and an ability to be totally immersed in Vegas culture while remaining somehow above it. He was one of many axed from The Las Vegas Weekly, a fake alt-weekly filled with leftover and expanded articles from Las Vegas Sun columnists like Jon Katsilometes and recycled blogwork from local hacks like New York Times stringer, Gay Vegas author, comp queen and concert promoter Steve Friess.

It's the LA Times cut that's the head-scratcher. The national paper with the most confusing, behind-the-times website must know that the Internet is where operations must move, and Abowitz' The Movable Buffet blog was not only one of the first LA Times blogs but among the most distinctive and informative in the entire business. Idiots.

We first corresponded with Abowitz after he commented on our initial coverage of the Danny Gans death mystery (he suggested that we were insane), and after a series of collegial and thoughtful exchanges (unlike the hysterical attacks from Friess), we count Abowitz as a Tabloid Baby pal.

Now that he's gone solo, we're glad to see the compromised Friess has a competitor in the Las Vegas blog arena-- and only urge that Abowitz get on that Danny Gans story!

Click here for Gold Plated Door.

Someone emailed us The Tiger Woods Family Portrait

A tip of the Tabloid Baby hat to Tabloid Baby pal Chuck Tyler...

Remember Tiger Woods' nude model "wife"?

We wonder what Kim Hiott thinks about the Tiger Woods brouhaha. She's the nude model who for years has been incorrectly identified as Tiger's wife Elin.

A few years ago, we broke the story that cyberterrorists were spreading the rumour on the eve of Tiger’s 60 Minutes interview with Ed Bradley-- the one in which Tiger spoke so lovingly of his wife the former twin nanny ("I have found a life partner, a best friend. You know, Elin’s been incredible for me. She’s brought joy and balance in my life. We love doing the same things. You think I’m competitive? She’s way more than me.").

Later that year, Tiger Woods sued an Irish magazine for publishing topless photos of Hiott under the headline, "Ryder Cup filth for Ireland," and over an article claiming she was Tiger's wife.

Tabloid Baby readers had already helped identify model Kimberly Hiott by the tattoo on her lower back. Even so, the mistake haunts Tiger and Elin to this day.

Those were simpler days for Tiger Woods, when he was defending his wife, not defending himself from her.

"Engaging & revealing": Magazine features Neil Innes and The Seventh Python on the road to Tuesday's history-making event at the Wilmette Theatre

With pop music legend Neil Innes receiving rave reviews on a United States concert tour that culminates in a much-anticipated appearance alongside the acclaimed, award-winning film The Seventh Python, the Bonzo, Rutle, Monty Python cohort, Ego Warrior and heretofore hidden treasure, talks about his reaction to the film and the subsequent showers of appreciation in a magazine interview that's just hit the stands.

Innes shares the stage with the Frozen Pictures Innes biopic at the historic Wilmette Theatre outside Chicago on Tuesday June 9th. And as he continues his concert tour, fans, and folks who are about to discover him, can read an excellent interview by writer Jeff Elbel in the new issue (#64) of The Big Takeover, the very hip and forward-looking Brooklyn-based music magazine.

A brief excerpt from the article in the magazine you must hold in your hands:

JE: The Seventh Python must stoke your ego and provoke your contempt for fame simultaneously. Will you have difficulty maintaining your power of invisibility with a film about yourself in circulation?

NEIL: Well, it’s not really up there with The Dark Knight, is it? [laughs] I quite like that they went around with a photograph of me and nobody recognized me. One woman in Windsor said, “It’s not that Russian that got poisoned, is it?” - clinging to the idea of "it's got to be somebody who's been on the news."

JE: I particularly enjoyed the testimonials in The Seventh Python from your Python mates, during which they celebrated your vices. John Cleese described your deadly cigarettes, which were apparently "so strong, they were like something the police would throw at you during a riot."

NEIL: Cleese would arrive like an ocean-going schooner and demand, "Give me one of your cigarettes." He never really bought any of his own [laughs], but he was rather tempted by my incredibly strong cigarettes - which I only used to smoke half of. It was very wasteful. They were killer cigarettes, but I certainly didn't smoke them all the time, and I never smoked them all the way down.

"The Seventh Python is an engaging
and revealing look at the 'accidental career'
of beloved musical satirist and creative powerhouse
Neil Innes, a predominantly unsung figure despite
over four decades in the public eye and ear."
– Jeff Elbel, The Big Takeover

JE: You can see the writer's mind in his anecdotes. John's insistence that you had developed an admirable approximation of a British accent despite the "fact" that you're Belgian was very funny, too.

NEIL: John will take something absolutely incredible, and look it in the camera until it backs off. "He is from Bruges." [laughs]

JE: Michael Palin seemed to relish the story about how you would harangue the night porter for drinks after hours.

NEIL: It's funny to see Michael's interpretation. The way he says it, it makes it sound like I'm a complete alcoholic desperate for a drink!

The thing is, being on the road with a group, you would come back late [after the show]. After you've been on stage, you're pretty up [from adrenalin], and you can use something to quiet yourself down. Most hotels in the UK would be closed up. Usually, there's a night porter who's got a cupboard with a few miniatures in it. You could get a couple of shots of whiskey or something as a nightcap.

I got used to the fact that they would say, "No, it's too late." If I went, "Now look, there's a night porter's cupboard. What have you got in there?" ... if you insisted, politely and nicely as well, they'd normally get it out. That's all it was; I wasn't driving motorbikes around the corridors, demanding booze.

Neil Innes in The Seventh Python

JE: What do you make of a statement like the one Eric Idle made, suggesting that you should have paraded your talent around the states more often, and that you owed it to people?

NEIL: That is a more conventional showbiz approach. I want it all, though. I want all the toys and all the friends, and all the anonymity. I'm a greedy bastard, and I want even more than most people.

JE: Less is more.

NEIL: More or less, less is more!

JE: Did you learn anything about yourself through the film?

NEIL: I already knew how prickly I can be sometimes. I thought Michael was very good about saying, "Well, he knows what he wants." That was the thing about working with Python; everybody has an opinion, and you don't get anywhere from just nodding and being polite. But eventually the best solution comes forward. It's up to everybody else not to have any grudges and go along with the majority...

Jeff Elbel & Neil Innes take the Ego Warrior oath

JE: The Seventh Python underscores what you’ve always said about degrees of celebrity before - that it's easier being a Rutle than a Beatle.

NEIL: Fame and money have become the twin pillars of modern-day culture. I like to go off into fantasies about it. I love the idea of a D-list celebrity, which is someone who’s been hit on the head by Tiger Woods’ golf ball...

JE: George Harrison had a reputation as an insightful person. With distance from the most extreme years of Beatlemania, did he become more comfortable with his status?

NEIL: No, he was always [wary of fame]. To his credit, he wasn’t fooled by show business. He once said in an interview; “It’s all very well, wanting fame and fortune, and good luck to you if you find it. But you still have to find yourself.” Money can’t buy anyone love, you know.

Great stuff! And this brief selection only hints at the insight on both sides of the conversation.

The Neil Innes interview appears in The Big Takeover's issue #64. If you can't find it, you can order it by clicking here.

Celeb-seeking Brit Jules Segal makes headway in quest to meet 500 stars; does public service by letting us know that Jesse Draper is a female

We told you about Jules Segal, the Brit who's in America on a mission to meet 500 celebrities and get them to sign his British flag as part of his US-Say charity project. In our role as instigator and adviser to our fellow journos-- meaning we point you to good stories to feature-- we gave you all the information you needed to get a bang-up great story about a guy who's given himself three months to complete the project (including a book about the "special relationship" between the US and UK), which he's financing by placing bets on his progress with a Brit bookmakers.

Jules has been in Hollywood the past few weeks. He reported yesterday on meeting Brett Easton Ellis and bring us up to date on the quest to meet celebs who were selected through a UK Facebook poll. OJ Simpson was at the top of the list. Fats Domino was 500th. (There are merely 499 people more famous than Fats Domino?)


"Replies are starting to trickle in," he tells us. "But it's somewhat demoralising to learn that the likes of Steve Wynn and Alex Trebek are too busy to meet me even for thirty seconds.

"But at least they got back to me, so that was nice of them."

Notice Jules isn't stalking anyone. With that proper British upbringing, he's asking-- and asking nicely, sending letters, going through channels-- in other words making the task even harder for himself. But he's made some headway.


"Children's TV presenter Jesse Draper met me at Urth Caffe in West Hollywood, although I forgot to bring the all-important flag for the 'flag signing ceremony.'

"The flag wass signed by racing drivers Al Unser Jr. and Bobby Rahal down in Long Beach the other day. I got lost in East Compton on the drive back."


"Meanwhile, Tiger Woods' old coach and all-round golfing guru Butch Harmon promised to meet me in Vegas in a few weeks time, whilst Liza Minnelli had indicated that she will sign the flag when-- or if-- I make it to New York. Bruce Campbell says he'll grant me the few seconds I need if I makes it to Miami and Dennis Rodman and Carl Lewis may also be meeting me in the next week or two over on this coast.

"So a bit of ink at the very least will make it onto the flag.


"I've even received a message from the 'Scheduling Department' of Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. He suggested that they may be able to shoehorn a brief meeting into Arnie's hectic schedule. I'll believe that one when I see it!"

Do you know any of the 500 from Jules' list (which you can see here)? All they need do to make history and get some good publicity is take 30 seconds to meet the young pommy and and scribble on his flag.

He comes recommended.

As for our media and journo pals: This is a good story. You oughta cover it.

Exclusive: British guy comes to America to write book on US-UK relations-- and to meet 500 celebs

We don't subscribe to the idea that British people all have bad teeth. We understand that the island nation discovered fluoride sometime in the Seventies, just as they managed to spin out a chef or two and learn to cook in the past fifteen years. We do hold the belief that all British men have had at least one gay experience, and that even the most lady-killing British male is overcompensating for a buggering in his schooldays-- a prejudice enforced over the weekend when we cracked open Victor Spinetti's book and later on the Virgin America flight home read an Esquire UK article about some hot tart named Rosamund Pike who claimed her hottest romance was with a guy who turned out to be gay and that they and his new boyfriend now go on threesome vacations together, not that there's anything wrong with any of that but which simply isn't so taken for granted in America.

Which leads us to Jules Segal, a young British guy who's arrived in the States to research a new book and embark on a stunt crusade to get 500 US celebrities "to sign a British flag with messages of support for the British people" (the flag will be auctioned for a kids' charity).


Jules pulled off a similar stunt in the UK, in which he got celebs like Cheri Blair, Ian McLellan, Jonathan Ross and Chris Martin, the bedwetting guy from Coldplay and a lot of people we're not familiar with (but who are very familiar in the UK) to shake his hand. He got a lot of publicity and a book out of the deal: Greeting The 500.

Now, like Sacha Baron Cohen, Toby Young and Marco Pierre White (well, not Marco Pierre White...) he's headed across the pond, and like de Tocqueville and Allan Whicker before him, will take the pulse of the big country while exploring the "special relationship" between the UK and the US, and speaking to Americans about their views on all things British, "our accents, our bad teeth, the Beckhams, our music, our common foreign policies, whether we should always go to war together..."

And then there are the 500 celebrities, a list he gathered from a Facebook poll and whom he's approaching quite formally, quite British, actually, through letters and proper channels as opposed to the good old American tradition of stalking.

We like the idea that Jules' project started out as a bet. Jules' mate gave him a list of 500 UK celebs and six months to get his photo taken shaking hands with as many as possible. He need to meet 20% of them to win the bet. Gambling comes into play this time as well:

"Jules has very little money, no full-time job and the residue of a gambling habit. In order to finance his trip, he has placed two bets with the William Hill bookmaking firm. One of these bets relates to how many of the 500 he will manage to meet in 90 days, the other bet will be paid out if amongst others, he meets Tiger Woods, Scarlet Johansson, Kanye West, Emeril Lagasse and Daniel Negreanu and completes a pre-arranged task with each of these individuals..."

The list follows. If you are on it or have an in with someone who is, you can reach him here. We spoke to Jules this week, he comes recommended by our pals at Anorak and we'll be keeping track of his progress.

Jules in in Los Angeles now. He's got quite a task ahead. Some of his target celebs are in prison; one or two may be dead.

Fellow journos: go out and do your jobs, run a feature on The US-Say project and book this guy for your shows.

Segal's List
‘500 Americans’

50 cent Aaron Sorkin Adam Sandler Adam West Al Jarreau Al Roker Al Sharpton Al Gore Al Pacino Al Unser Jr Alan Dershowitz Alan Alda Alan Greenspan Alex Trebek Alex Rodriguez Alexi Lalas Alice Cooper America Ferrera Andre 3000 Angelina Jolie Ann Coulter Anna Wintour Anne Rice Annie Liebowitz Anthony Bourdain Antonio Fargas Ariana Huffington A Schwarzenegger Arsenio Hall Art Garfunkel Ashley Olsen Axl Rose Barack Obama Barbra Streisand Barbara Walters Barry Bonds Ben Stiller Beth Ditto Betty Ford Betty White Big Bird Bill Bryson Bill Cosby Bill Maher Bill Clinton Bill Gates Bill Murray Billy Crystal Billy Graham Billie Jean King Billy Ray Cyrus Bo Derek Bo Jackson Bob Beamon Bob Dylan Bob Woodward Brad Pitt Bret Easton Ellis Britney Spears Bruce Campbell Bruce Springsteen Bruce Willis Burt Reynolds Butch Harmon Calvin Klein Cameron Diaz Carl Lewis Carly Fiorina Carrie Fisher Carson Kressley Casey Kasem Charles Barkley Charles Manson Charlie Kaufman Cheech Cher Chevy Chase Chris Rock Christopher Gardner Christian Bale Christian Slater Christina Aguilera Christy Turlington Chubby Checker Chuck Norris Chuck Palahniuk Cindy Crawford Clint Eastwood Colin Powell Condoleeza Rice Courtney Cox Courtney Love Dale Earnhardt Jr Dan Rather Dan Brown Dan Aykroyd Dan Castellaneta Dan Marino Dan Quayle Dane Cook Daniel Libeskind Daniel Negreanu Danielle Steele Danny de Vito Dave Brubeck Dave Chapelle Dave Grohl Dave Lee Roth David Duke David Geffen David Blaine David Copperfield David Hasselhoff David Letterman David Lynch David Mamet David Schwimmer David Soul Debbie Harry Debbie Gibson Dennis Hopper Dennis Rodman Denzel Washington Derek Jeter Diana Ross Diane Sawyer Dick Cheney Duane Chapman Dolly Parton Don King Donald Rumsfeld Donald Sutherland Donald Trump Donna Karan Donnie Wahlberg Donny Osmond Doris Day Doyle Brunson Dr Dre Dr John Dr Ruth Dr Phil Drew Barrymore Dustin Hoffman Ed Moses Eddie Murphy Eliot Spitzer Ellen DeGeneres Emeril Lagasse Eminem Evander Holyfield Fats Domino Fergie Florence Henderson Frank Oz Frank Gehry Fred Savage Garth Brooks Garry Shandling Gary Busey Gary Coleman Gary Larson Gene Simmons Gene Wilder George Foreman George Lucas George Romero George Lopez George Pataki George W Bush George Clooney Gilbert Godfrey Gore Vidal Grace Jones Greg Louganis Gwyneth Paltrow Harper Lee Harrison Ford Harry Connick Jr Harvey Weinstein Harvey Keitel Hayden Panettiere Heidi Fleiss Henry Winkler Henry Kissinger Hilary Hahn Hillary Clinton Howard Stern Hugh Hefner Hulk Hogan Ice Cube Ice T Iggy Pop Isaac Mizrahi Jack Nicklaus Jack Black Jack Nicholson Jackie Chan Jackie Mason James Gandolfini James Horner James Earl Jones James Ellroy James Hellwig James Woods Jane Fonda Janice Dickinson Jason Bateman Jasper Johns Jaws (Richard Kiel) Jay Leno Jay-Z JD Salinger Jeff Gordon Jeff Goldblum Jeff Koons Jeff Skoll Jenna Jameson Jennifer Aniston Jennifer Lopez Jermain Jackson Jerry Rice Jerry Bruckheimer Jerry Springer Jesse Draper Jesse Jackson Jesse Ventura Jessica Simpson Jessica Alba Jim Brown Jim Davis Jim Carrey JJ Abrams Joan Rivers Jodie Foster Joe Montana Joe Pesci Joe Torre John Glover Roberts John Williams John Irving John Bobbit John Cusack John Daly John Glenn John Grisham John Malkovich John McEnroe Jon Stewart John Travolta John Wooden Johnny Depp Jon Bon Jovi Jordin Sparks Jordy Chandler Jorge Posada Josh Holloway Judd Nelson Judith Sheindlin Julia Roberts Justin Timberlake Kanye West Karl Rove Kate Hudson Kathleen Battle Kathy Ireland Kathie Lee Gifford Katie Couric Kato Kaelin Keanu Reeves Kelly Slater Kelly Clarkson Ken Starr Kenny Rogers Kevin Bacon Kevin Federline Kevin Smith Kiefer Sutherland Kim Cattral Kirsten Dunst Kobe Bryant Laffit Pincay Lance Armstrong Larry King Larry Seinfeld Larry Craig Larry David Larry Hagman Lee Corso Leonard Nimoy Leonardo di Caprio Linda Carter Lindsay Lohan Liza Minnelli Loretta Lynn Lou Ferrigno Lou Reed Louis Farrakhan Lucy Liu M N Shyamalan Macaulay Culkin Madeleine Albright Madonna Magic Johnson Malcolm Glazier Marc Jacobs Marie Osmond Marilyn Manson Marc McGwire Mark Zuckerburg Martha Stewart Martin Scorsese Martina Navratilova Mary-Kate Olsen Matisyahu Matt Damon Matt Groening Matthew Broderick Maya Angelou MC Hammer Meatloaf Mel Brooks Michael Bloomberg Michael Chertoff Michael Dell Michael Douglas Michael Griffin Michael J Fox Michael Jackson Michael Johnson Michael Jordon Michael Moore Michael Phelps Michelle Kwan Michelle Wie Mike Judge Mike Tyson Mikhail Baryshnikov Missy Elliot Moby Molly Ringwald Monica Lewinsky Mookie Wilson Morgan Freeman Morgan Spurlock Mr T Muhammed Ali Nadia Comaneci Nancy Cartwright Nancy Pelosi Neil Armstrong Neil Diamond Nicole Richie Noam Chomsky N Schwartzkopf OJ Simpson Oliver North Oprah Winfrey Oscar de la Hoya Owen Wilson P Diddy Pamela Anderson Paris Hilton Pat Sajak Patricia Arquette Patty Hearst Paul Auster Paul Shaffer Paul Teutul Paul Wolfowitz Paula Abdul Pauly Shore Pee Wee Herman Penn Jillette Perez Hilton Pete Sampras Peter Falk Peyton Manning Phil Mickleson Philip Glass PJ O’Rourke Prince Queen Latifah Q Tarrantino Quincy Jones Ralph Lauren Ralph Macchio Ray Liotta Reese Witherspoon Reggie Bush Regis Philbin Revered Al Green Richard Gere Richard Petty Rick Warren Ricki Lake Robert Rauschenberg Robert DeNiro Robin Williams Rodney King Roger Clemens Roger Ebert Ron Howard Ron Popeil Ron Jeremy Rosanna Arquette Rose McGowan Rosie Perez Ross Perot Roy Innis Ru Paul Rudolf Giuliani Rush Limbaugh Ryan Seacrest Samuel L Jackson Sara Silverman Sarah Jessica Parker Sarah Michelle Gellar Scarlett Johanssen Scooter Libby Sean Penn Siegfried & Roy Serena Williams Seth Macfarlane Sharon Stone Sheryl Crow Smokey Robinson Sophia Coppola South Park guys Spike Jonze Spike Lee Stephen Sondheim Stephen Colbert Stephen King Steve Buscemi Steve Carell Steve Guttenberg Steve Jobs Steve Martin Steve-O Steve Williams Steve Wynn Steven Spielberg Stevie Nicks Stevie Wonder Susannah Hoffs Sylvester Stallone Ted 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Chicago awaits The Seventh Python

The Chicago Sun-Times features Neil Innes in today's issue, in anticipation of Saturday's Heartland premiere of the Innes biopic, The Seventh Python, produced by our pals at Frozen Pictures.

The film will screen at 11 a.m. Saturday for early-bird fans at the Fest For Beatle Fans at the Hyatt-Regency O'Hare Hotel.

Jeff Elbel interviews Innes from his home in England.

Q. Does “The Seventh Python” stoke your ego, or provoke your contempt for fame?

A. It’s a wriggly, awkward place to be, I’ll tell you [laughs]. I quite like that they went ’round with a photograph and nobody recognized me. My favorite bit was on Hollywood Boulevard, where the guy says, “So, you’re making a documentary about somebody nobody knows?” Fame and money have become the twin pillars of modern culture. I love the idea of a D-list celebrity, which is someone who’s been hit on the head by Tiger Woods’ golf ball.

Heil, Harvey! (Oops. TMZ did it again!)

Leave it to the corporate porn-pushing gossip site TMZ.com to ruin somebody’s Christmas and reputation, only squirm away from responsibility on its own oily snailtrail. And leave it to frontman Harvey Levin to expose himself by revealing that he and his boys in their West Hollywood garret still have a thing or two to learn about Hollywood, tabloid and Jews.

It all began on the afternoon of Christmas Eve when Harvey's web team blew out the office candles after leaving a smelly package on the Internet doorstep, headlined:

Will Smith -- Hitler, Schmitler;
He Wasn't That Bad

The story (we can't find the exact verbiage—it’s been changed several times in the past day and a half) claimed “a leading Jewish group is kvetching loudly about Will Smith's recent suggestion that Adolf Hitler wasn't all bad.”

The leading Jewish group? The JDL. As in Jewish Defense League, the extreme militant group that in the past has been criticized by the real leading Jewish group, the Anti-Defamation League— the ADL-- for presenting a "gross distortion" of the real situation of American Jews. Put it this way: calling the JDL a "a leading Jewish group" is the equivalent of a major news organization citing TMZ as a serious news source.

(beat)

Oh.

And of course the JDL statement wouldn’t have gotten much traction or attention if not for TMZ’s exuberance in branding Will Smith the new Mel Gibson. And that's where TMZ went very wrong. They didn’t have Will saying anything about Hitler on tape. One of the TMZ thugs with a home video camera didn’t goad Will into saying something stupid as he stumbled out of a Hollywood nightspot (remember Chelsea Handler).

No, the quote is attributed to “a Scottish paper.”

Harvey, listen up.

First rule of tabloid: Never cite a British— especially not a Scottish (or Irish-- see Tiger Woods) tabloid— as a source when setting out to smear anyone's hardwon reputation (let alone the star of the #1 movie). In this case, the Daily Record article didn’t even make hay out of the the alleged quote. It was buried in the final graphs:

Remarkably, Will believes everyone is basically good.

"Even Hitler didn't wake up going, 'let me do the most evil thing I can do today'," said Will. "I think he woke up in the morning and using a twisted, backwards logic, he set out to do what he thought was 'good'. Stuff like that just needs reprogramming.

"I wake up every day full of hope, positive that every day is going to be better than yesterday. And I'm looking to infect people with my positivity. I think I can start an epidemic."

That's the quote-- if you believe the quote is accurate. And today, Smith's people are apparently disputing that, but too late, because TMZ's already infected the media and started a TMZ-positive epidemic.

And, as usual, the morning, as TMZ’s corporate overlords awaken from their holiday to see that the weekend crew has gone and done it again, harming clients from other tentacles of the megaconglomerate, Harvey’s cowardly idiots are in full, vulgar, backtrack mode:

Will Smith -- Reporters Just Don't Understand

Will Smith is slamming a Scottish paper -- after one of its reporters twisted a quote he gave about Adolf Hitler in an interview -- and kicked up an unnecessary Internet s**tstorm.



Smith called the The Daily Record's quote "an awful and disgusting lie," and through his rep said he is "incensed and infuriated to have to respond to such a ludicrous misinterpretation. Adolf Hitler was a vile, heinous vicious killer responsible for one of the greatest acts of evil committed on his planet." Men in backtrack!



But the best line is saved for last. After kicking up its own “unnecessary s**tstorm,” TMZ is finally doing its reportorial diligence— picking up the phone to confirm the story before going with it:

TMZ called the Daily Record, and we're trying to reach the reporter, Siobhan Synnot, whose byline is on the offending article, but haven't heard back.

We'll see how this plays out.

In any case, it’s a fitting way to wrap up a year in which TMZ turned Hollywood tabloid into a slimy, ugly and irresponsible attack game that’s played for blood on the Internet and whitewashed into partyboy giggly irrelevance in the TV version that the corporate bosses get to see.

Hard to believe that only a year or so ago, it seemed that Nick Denton’s Defamer site was redefining the form into something witty and smart, with well-written inside dirt from assistants and other disgruntled Hollywood underlings. But in 2007, Defamer slid into laziness (perhaps a result of Denton’s penurious payment policies or pharmaceuticals), devolving into little more than a forum for young gay slackers who sit on their couch all day watching The View, Oprah and Ellen and picking up the laptop during commercials to regurgitate the campest moments.

Oh well. We're still here. And watching. Harvey.

Tat's all, folks: Tiger's wife sues over nudes

Tiger Woods’s wife is suing the Dublin newspaper that included “fake" nude photos of her in an article that claimed she appears on Internet porn sites.

The photos were real; it’s just that the woman wasn’t Tiger’s Nordic wife Elin Nordgren, but Playboy cyber model Kimberly Hiott. Elin was first misidentified as Kim back in 2003 before she and the golf genius were married-- and we at Tabloid Baby set the record straight in March, after a new nude attack flared through the Internet on the eve of Tiger’s interview with Ed Bradley.

Alert readers identified Kim by the tattoo on the small of her back.

That’s why The Dubliner newspaper’s mistake is so bizarre. We exposed this back in March. Any Internet search would have brought up our recent investigation and its findings. The article appeared on the ever of golf’s Ryder Cup, describing the wives and girlfriends of the US team as “Ryder Cup filth” and claiming that Elin “can be found in a variety of sweaty poses on porn sites across the web.” (Tiger was forced to respond in a news conference and admit that the former nanny had modeled for “bikini photos”). The article is now being described as “satiric.” Which can be the only excuse.

But the “psych” worked. Team USA lost to Europe.


Kim is on the left. Elin on the right.

See more of the real NSFW Kim here and here.

Kim Hiott, it's time to claim your 15 Minutes

Kim Hiott is a model who's appeared in some provocative spreads for Playboy and other girlie magazines. Her face doesn’t necessarily radiate intelligence and the cuffs don’t always match the collar, but she's a looker, and her sexy photos have been circulated wide enough for her to become a household—or at least dorm room— room name by now.

Yet, more than two years after she was misidentified in her nudiest shots as Tiger Woods’ wife Elin Nordegren, the pix are still popping up with regularity and people still think it’s Tigers’ wife in the buff.

It doesn't make sense.

Today, any civilian, editor or lawyer only needs to google “Tiger Woods wife nude” to be directed to the truth.

So the fact that an Irish magazine published Kim’s pictures again this week makes even less sense— especially after we exposed the scam in March (when alert and horny Tabloid Baby readers ID’d Kim, based on her lower back tattoo), and pointed to a Snopes.com entry (Claim: Photographs show golfer Tiger Woods' wife posing nude. Status: False.) that laid the issue to rest.

It makes even less sense than all of the above that Kim Hiott isn’t a star based on the initial misidentification alone. Kim needs an agent. She should be on a world talk show tour today, expressing her outrage that she's being mistaken for a former nanny! This is her time to shine!

Where's Kim Hiott? If you know, contact us here. And we found some NSFW photos of Kim here.

(By the way, anyone who thinks there’s a difference between snooty “mainstream” news and proud tabloid should have have tuned into the Today show this morning, as they ran the Tiger Woods nude photos story—two days late and a writer short with the use of the "Tiger by the tail" cliche-- and ate it too, by showing the nude photos in question— but showing them as displayed in that Irish magazine. It’s an old trick to get ratings while avoiding the “tabloid” stigma-- as readers of Tabloid Baby are well aware.)