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Sunday, September 17, 2006

Beer League: A sad indicator of Stern's demise

"I don't know how accurate this is but Box Office Mojo is reporting Beer League's weekend at $320,000. As you probably know, Artie needs to make a million to bring the movie to a national release in October. If you were planning on seeing it and haven't gone out yet, do it today. We've heard reports of Artie fans from across the country simply buying a ticket through Fandango even though they can't see it. If you are one of them, let us know about it..."

The above email from "Mutt" that arrived in the Tabloid Baby offices this afternoon is the latest reason why Howard Stern will begin syndicating parts of his show on “free” radio sometime soon. Because there was a time when a Howard Stern Radio Show connection could add a little push to the box office-- at least get it to more than 164 theatres and rake in a measly million dollars.

But that was a time when Howard Stern mattered, when his new radio sidekick Artie Lange and his sad march to a blubbery booze and drug-soaked Farleyesque death was, if not a national obsession, at least common knowledge, heard on the radio in various cities around the country-- and generating enough publicity to sell out the stand-up gigs he wobbled to in joints around the country.

But now of course, Howard Stern is playing to a paid crowd, and has no cultural influence or juice at all because the millions who used to listen to him forgot about him soon after he took his ball and went home last December. We realized it the other morning, when we were stuck in rush hour traffic on the freeway, punching the radio buttons between Stephanie Miller and Mark & Brian and Kevin & Bean (pausing to smack it because Stern's nimrod successor Adam Carolla was wasting airtime with his deadly unfunny “Deaf Frat Guy” character) and we realized, amid all these cars, stopped for miles on the freeway— probably no one is listening to Howard Stern.

Because we’re not going to pay for car radio. Sorry.

Beer League seals Stern's Rupert Pupkin basement door.

Artie Lange got star billing and his name in the movie's title because of his Stern connection. We’re surprised Howard didn’t ante up a quarter million bucks to boost the box office and save face. But he’s probably in the Hamptons, enjoying his hundreds of millions of dollars and his new anonymity.

In any case, this is why Howard will soon syndicate his show on what’s become known as free, “terrestrial” radio.

Because when the New York Times takes the time to label a gross-out sports comedy as “close to being that rare film that is perfectly bad-- i.e., that has not a shred of social, entertainment or even curiosity value,” a Howard Stern push should be able to avoid embarrassment.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Artie Lange just sold out Carnegie Hall.

Explain that?

Anonymous said...

An explanation would be that as many people want to see Artie at Carnegie Hall as want to see him on the big screen...

Anonymous said...

How is that impressive? Carnegie Hall seats 2800 people. So what? Anyone can rent it.

Michelle said...

And we're not going to pay for car radio. Amen. Sort of amazing Howard Stern couldn't figure that out for himself. Guess the ego got in the way.

Anonymous said...

Re Howard:
Last night 60 Minutes aired a piece they did on Howard just before he went to Sirius. I expected some info in the Tag about what Howard has done with his Sirius deal, as in Ratings info, etc.
Nothing.
The absence of details told the tale.

Derek said...

Well there wouldn't be any talk about ratings because there isn't a ratings system for satellite radio.
Stern's success at Sirius is measured by subscriptions and I think the numbers that were thrown around in the initial months of his Sirius run were that a third of his listeners followed him to satellite.

Anonymous said...

Well, looks like it's still going to get a wider release.

http://howardstern.com/rundown.hs?month=September&day=18&year=2006&x=20&y=11

Oh and I believe 3 million people have signed up for Sirius since Howard took over. That's a pretty good number for one year.

How many people read this little blog? How many of those pay $15 a month for it?

Anonymous said...

According to the website referred to by the last anonymous person, it looks like Tabloid Baby's take was correct. Artie's movie tanked and it's not going national, but "more cities.":

"...Even though the movie didn’t hit the $1 million mark that would’ve allowed it to be more widely distributed, the fan reaction was so positive that its distributors have decided to release it in more cities anyway. Artie then mentioned some of the negative reviews 'Beer League' got, noting the one in the New York Times was particularly harsh..."

Anonymous said...

Do you listen to Stern at all? They have never said that they expected the movie to be huge. They acknowledge that it is low budget and probably won't get a nation wide release.

A movie with a $2.5 Million budget making $300G in 3 days in 3 cities is not bad.

I like how this guy thinks he knows Howard is going to start putting materiel back on free radio. Why would he do that? He has a pays service radio station and a pay service TV station, why would he go back?

He's not like Opie & Anthony, only getting 30,000 listeners, he's get millions.

Go back to talking about Lindsey Lohan.

Anonymous said...

Why would Howard sell out to terrestrial radio where the religious right and the FCC has nothing better to do than to fine broadcasters and their affliate companies for sneezing the wrong way? Tabloid Baby's statement makes no sense at all. Bababooey to you all.

Anonymous said...

I heard that Artie's next movie is
"The Most Tensest"...the Robert Higgins story.

Howard Stern Is Must Have Radio said...

If anyone here enjoyed Howard on Terrestrial Radio (FM RADIO), why wouldn't you buy the cheap radio and spend a few bucks for the service? Do you think you pay money for nothing? Let me tell that I got the car radio, I listen online at home, and I also pay for Howard TV. Yes, it's an expense but it's the coolest and most fun expense that I look forward to, to destress from all my other bills. Howard on Sirius is a steal, you are getting excellent interviews, girls who ride the sybian, hot girls who are nekked on the show! retards, midgets, baba booey, sal and rich, beetle-head, all the various celebrities on the show, the cursing, the free expression and on top of all that you get Artie Lange everyday this is crazy, I'd pay 200/month if that was the cost, but it's only like 23.00/month for car, home, and TV. Do it! It's worth it, in my car I never listen to anything but Howard. Bye bye now.. Howard's on..... ahahaha.. too bad some of you can't hear him.. but do enjoy all the news programs on terrestrial radio..lmao..

Gerard

Howard Stern Is Must Have Radio said...

If anyone here enjoyed Howard on Terrestrial Radio (FM RADIO), why wouldn't you buy the cheap radio and spend a few bucks for the service? Do you think you pay money for nothing? Let me tell that I got the car radio, I listen online at home, and I also pay for Howard TV. Yes, it's an expense but it's the coolest and most fun expense that I look forward to, to destress from all my other bills. Howard on Sirius is a steal, you are getting excellent interviews, girls who ride the sybian, hot girls who are nekked on the show! retards, midgets, baba booey, sal and rich, beetle-head, all the various celebrities on the show, the cursing, the free expression and on top of all that you get Artie Lange everyday this is crazy, I'd pay 200/month if that was the cost, but it's only like 23.00/month for car, home, and TV. Do it! It's worth it, in my car I never listen to anything but Howard. Bye bye now.. Howard's on..... ahahaha.. too bad some of you can't hear him.. but do enjoy all the news programs on terrestrial radio..lmao..

Gerard