How does Leno do it? With scab help, of course!

Well our Writers Guild of America strike may be coming to an end soon, but in its wake there will be niggling questions among us rank and file, like why the leadership got distracted trying to recruit reality television and animation writers in the middle of the action against the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers, and why late night hosts like Jay Leno and Jon Stewart were given a pass to defy their union blatantly and continue to write monologues and sketches by scabbing, and getting help from scabs.

Today’s New York Times touches on the latter subject with an odd article by Bill Carter, the chronicler of the late night wars and the one journo we'd expect to have the inside track on the late night show workings. The article about Jay Leno's ability to keep up his ratings and lead over Letterman despite the strike, leave sit a mystery as to how the host somehow manages to come up with something like two dozen fresh, topical jokes per night in his monologues:

"How does he do it?

"…Mr. Leno is performing the opening monologue, his show’s centerpiece, just as he always has, firing off joke after joke— 25 last Thursday alone for example. Many of the jokes were based on the Republican debate the night before. Others were more generic. But to most viewers they probably seemed indistinguishable from a monologue Mr. Leno might have given six months, or six years, ago.

"That has led to speculation about how he’s doing it. After all, the Writers Guild put out word that no new writing could be done during the strike. Mr. Leno met with the guild leadership before the strike and explained that he intended to perform a monologue he would write himself…

"That might not seem to account for 25 jokes a night, but Mr. Ludwin and others associated with the show say Mr. Leno’s three decades of work as a stand-up comic has been the biggest factor in those monologues.

"These associates say that Mr. Leno is pulling jokes from the deep pool of material he has used in his stand-up act, dropping in more generic — or just silly — jokes into his monologues... But he has also, the associates said, used his skills as a mechanic — Mr. Leno’s chief non-show-business passion is working on cars and motorcycles — to retool old jokes. One longtime writer said that Mr. Leno was taking lines he used about earlier politicians and refashioning them to involve contemporary figures.

"Some of Mr. Leno’s competitors still question how he is able to do this all by himself, night after night, especially while also darting off to stand-up gigs. Last Wednesday he flew to Phoenix for a Super Bowl-related performance after taping the show earlier that day…

We’d never have imagined that we’d have more sources in the late night world than Bill Carter, but from the start, we've been told by insiders that Leno is relying on the help of a few topnotch out-of-town jokewriters who fax, phone or email him gags every morning.

There are hundreds of these guys out there, pros who syndicate jokes to morning radio shows and late night show writing staffs alike (just do a Google search for “syndicated jokes” and you’ll get the idea)-- not mention comics on the road, stuck doing two nights at a HooHas in Cleveland, eager to win points from the Big Guy. Woody Allen got his start sending gags to Walter Winchell and Earl Wilson. Rodney Dangerfield would buy “no respect” one-liners for $25 to $100 each.

Weird middle-of-the-night Carson Daly got a lot of stick for seeking jokes from his pals; Leno is taking advantage of a Scab Nation, and just like any big corporation , he’s bringing in the scabs from out of town.

It’s unclear why Bill Carter is being coy, and odd that he left us to find the story between the lines.

Now Jay Leno must walk away from NBC

Now that Conan O'Brien's thrown down the gauntlet and refused to move with the Tonight show to 12:05 a.m. to make way for a half-hour of Jay Leno jokes at 11:35, it's up to Jay Leno to do the right thing and walk away from NBC as well.


After all, it was his show that failed at 10 p.m. and collapsed the late night ratings. We're hearing that NBC is already calling up agents looking for guest hosts to fill in on that expensive new Tonight set.

But if Conan takes a hike, does Leno think he can walk back to where he left off at Tonight with any dignity at all? Even before his 10 o'clock disaster got the axe, there was talk that NBC suits were talking about Jerry Seinfeld taking over Tonight. It still could happen. But would passive-aggressive Leno take a stand?

Insult Comic Dog addresses The Leno Issue

Comedy puppet Triumph The Insult Comic Dog, appearing at the WGA East Awards show in NYC Saturday night, took on an issue that will linger long after the Writers Guild Strike is ended officially: passive-aggressive late night host Jay Leno's casual and callous flaunting of the WGA rules by continuing to write and use written material in his show's monologues and sketches:

"Today we had a great victory... We have an agreement that we can pretend we’re happy with... We had to get an agreement today... There was too much public outcry. At the end of the day, we had to end the strike to get all the ugly writers off of YouTube.

"By the way, if you don’t like any of these jokes, I didn’t write them because of the strike. But fortunately Jay Leno was nice enough to give me some. How does he do it? He runs them by Mavis at 3 in the morning!

"...The strike rules, ha, prohibit all the writing, ho ho, by any guild member that would be performed on-air by that member, ah ha ha ha, including monologues! Oh ho ho! I can’t take it! It’s too funny! Oh ho ho ho! The strike rules!

"By the way, I want to say, you know, Jay Leno wasn’t the only one to make a mockery of these rules. All the talk show hosts did, except my man, Conan O’Brien! Conan O’Brien went out there with no material and sucked harder than ever before!

"Actually, he was pretty good, but if I say that Jeff Zucker will fire half the writing staff.

"Jimmy Kimmel also didn’t write. But Jimmy took it a step further: He didn’t write before the strike. That’s how loyal he is!"

Leno & Kimmel's dangerous liaison

Passive-aggressive late night TV host Jay Leno and Sarah Silverman's boyfriend/Adam Carolla's mentor Jimmy Kimmel are both angry that David Letterman made a sidedeal with the Writers Guild of America that allowed his writers to go back to work. Both hosts, WGA members, crossed picket lines to return to work last week without writers. Leno, as we know, has been writing (or getting help writing) his nightly monologue in defiance of union rules. Kimmel, who mines the "working slug" "lucky to be on television" image, has raged publicly against the restrictions.

According to the New York Times, "in an unusual act of unity emerging from the screenwriters’ strike, two of television’s late-night hosts, Jay Leno of NBC and Jimmy Kimmel of ABC, will appear on each other’s shows on Thursday... The two hosts and their networks will announce the arrangement on Monday...

"Neither host has appeared on the other’s show, but in the course of meetings with the writers’ guild over what the hosts would be permitted to do and telephone discussions between the shows about mutual interests, Mr. Leno and Mr. Kimmel established a relationship..."

These guys know the rules and how the game is played. Whatever game they're playing behind the scenes is a move into dangerous territory.

In the late night wars, why does the Mexican guy wind up getting screwed?

First Jay Leno pushed Conan O'Brien out of his dream job as host of the Tonight Show at NBC, after he agreed to a deal that would have forced Conan to move his show back to midnight, and now it's reported that Conan O'Brien is taking a late night gig at TBS, forcing George Lopez out of his 11 pm talk show slot and back to midnight on TBS.

Lopez reportedly agreed to the deal, but did he have a choice?

(Funny related story: Lopez was in a feud with Jay Leno a couple of years ago, when Leno was invited to a comedian's gathering at the Laugh Factory on Sunset Boulevard. Noticing Lopez in the crowd, Leno got loose from his handlers and walked over to clear things up. He offered the olive branch to his colleague, only to be met with the response:

"Jay, I'm not George Lopez. I'm Paul Rodriguez."

Leno regains old show, gains new enemy

If Jay Leno is such a nice guy, why do so many of his colleagues hate his guts? It could be because Jay Leno knows how to make things happen, and how to stand back and pretend he's an innocent bystander swept up by events. Combine all that with his obsessive work habits and denim shirts and we've got to ask: Is it his mother, his father, or something to do with his late brother? And does the viewing audience give a shit?

Carrie Ann Inaba is topless, but Leno was naked

Yeah, it's fine to cross the Writers Guild picket lines to do your late night show and in defiance of your union rules and responsibilities, sit in a room and write your own monologue. The country needs it so we can be told that the people running for President are silly. That was the consensus from Bill Maher and Jay Leno, when strike-criticising late night host showed up as guest on the strike-defying host's show last night. When Maher's anti-strike quips proved the perfect set-up for a protester to begin a chant from the audience, he was ready to hit back with some scripted heckler rejoinders-- but Leno shit a brick and threw hastily to a commercial.

The flash of fear and panic on Leno's face was priceless-- a high point that nullified Maher's later praise for writing his own monologues (in defiance of his union-- and who's writing the taped bits?) --and matched only by the segment featuring Bruno and Carrie Ann from ABC's "writerless" Dancing with the Stars and its current spinoff. While Maher carried on a panto with Bruno, the Leno scabs ran a clip explaining, after three seasons of Dancing, who the hell is Carrie Ann Inaba-- she was the pole dancer from one of Madonna's tours-- the topless one with the shaved head.

Scab: 'Blue collar' Adam Carolla to cross WGA picket lines to pimp his awful radio show on Leno

If you haven't caught his radio show, here's a good enough reason to dislike Adam Carolla, the freeform monotonal "comedian" who's in his third year of attempting to create a listenable, if not successful, radio show in slots once occupied by the late Howard Stern in Los Angeles and a few other unfortunate cities: This morning, he's advertising his appearance tonight on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, and offering up ten tickets to listeners who want to sit in the audience to see him go through the motions after crossing the Writers Guild of America picket line. (Remember the days when a ticket to The Tonight Show was a hot commodity? Those were the Carson days.)

Carolla's guest spot is a sign of Leno's difficulty in booking guests during the WGA strike, when most compassionate performers will not cross the line to pimp a product, not to mention Hollywood's disapproval of Leno's decision to continue to write monologues and somehow find scripts for videotaped bits despite his membership in the WGA.

It also indicates that Jimmy Kimmel had his own interests at heart when he created an alliance with Leno against the WGA strike limitations. Kimmel, of course, is Carolla's "rabbi," a CBS radio "comedy" consultant who has been instrumental in keeping Carolla on the air. Now the perennial also-ran is getting his friends and associates on a late night show that actually has some viewers.

As for Carolla? What a hypocrite. The supposed "working stiff," who mocks immigrants on his radio show, Carolla, who last month maneuvered the ouster of co-host Danny Bonaduce after Bonaduce brought the show new life and ratings, plods on toward cancellation with a dull cadre of followerss including the drab Teresa Strasser (who works for the whitewashed syndicated television show based on the corporate porn-pushing gossip site, TMZ.com) and a few other nonpro acolytes.

Shame on the lot of them.

Way to go, Conan! (And we do mean "go")

Conan O'Brien has Just released a statement in which he refuses to accept a move of his Tonight show to 12:05 a.m in order to accommodate Jay Leno. It's a statement for the television archives:

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.

Yours,

Conan

Frank Caliendo may be the new Danny Gans

Frank Caliendo is the latest talent to be hired as a resident headliner on the Las Vegas Strip. The impressionist will debut at the Monte Carlo Hotel and Casino on October 10th. He'll share a theatre with Lance Burton and supposedly signed a 10-year contract.


You might know Frank from the NFL Sunday show on Fox where he impersonates John Madden. We know him as the fat guy from MADtv who does Al Pacino, Jay Leno and Bill Clinton and who unfortunately always looks like a fat guy doing Al Pacino, Jay Leno and Bill Clinton. But we're certain he has a fast-paced, entertaining show, and if he adds some musical impressions, he could be the new... well, who knows?

(Coincidentally, Caliendo insists he'd been negotiating a Vegas show even before Danny Gans died on May 1st. His chances got better when Gans moved from the Mirage to the Wynn in February, because, like the Mirage, the Monte Carlo is owned by MGM, and Gans' contract with the MGM Mirage contained a clause that prohibited MGM from hiring another impressionist for any of its nine Las Vegas properties.)

JibJab JibJumps the shark

When the JibJab brothers first made a splash with their "This Land Is Your Land" Bush-Kerry web cartoon back in 2004, they were fresh, different, unexpected and funny. And when Jay Leno ran their video on The Tonight Show, he seemed to be riding the curve.

What a difference a few years makes. We're used to dead air and groaners on Leno, but last night's debut of JibJab's "What We Call The News" had us wishing for one of those Tom Green travelogues-- or maybe another Richard Jeni tribute. Finger-in-the-chili, Scott Peterson, George-Bush-can't-open-the-door and Geraldo jokes? Real current and cutting edge-- in 2005, maybe.

Set to "The Battle Hymn of The Republic"? These guys are turning into regular Mark Russells.

Even the Today show only showed a few seconds of the clip this morning-- and they have three hours to fill. We bet Leno and company regret getting hooked into that contract.

Check out JibJab and their diminishing returns here.

Why is the WGA letting the late-night liberal golden boys get away with using written, scab material?

So why are the liberal golden boys of late night television getting a pass by the Writers Guild of America when they’re clearly doing scabwork and making liberal use of written material despite the strike? Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and Bill Maher all flaunt their lefty, man-of-the-people, anti-Bush, anti-boss credentials, sentiments and shtik, and all returned to their shows amid the WGA strike with the expected words of solidarity toward the striking writers. Yet even a cursory viewing of their shows this week reveals that they’re using written material, in videotaped segments, monologues and other bits. And no one’s complaining.



Jay Leno has been the most egregious and blatant offender with his long scripted monologues and scripted video segments, but in his typical passive-aggressive fashion weaseled his way out of responsibility by claiming to have misinterpreted approval from the WGA. With NBC forcing him off the air next year and embarrassing him by running those repeats from the Nineties, he obviously doesn’t give a shit or feels he’s above it all, but as Leno spews out the written stuff regardless, he offers a fascinating view into a TV comedian’s insecurities, jealousies and neuroses, unseen since the days of Stanley Seigel, Shelley Berman or Jack Paar.

But these other guys? They’re only protecting their artificial images. We members of the Writers Guild of America gave ambitious Carson Scably a well-deserved heckling when he was caught soliciting scab material after he crossed the WGA picket line to resume his little-seen middle-of-the-night talk show. But he was easy pickings. Guys like Stewart, Colbert and Maher obviously believe their own hype, that they have something important to say, and it appears that their perceived political views are giving them tacit approval to rely on scabwork and be scabs themselves.

So far, only Conan O'Brien seems to have taken the strike and his responsibilities as a WGA member seriously and is giving his bosses a reason to get back to the negotiating table. Kimmel? We haven’t watched his show so you’ll have to let us know, but his public grousings are ill-advised for a lug who’s lucky to be on the air to begin with, and who’s in line for a dose of Hollywood reality next year when his new big buddy Leno makes a deal with ABC and takes his timeslot.

A statue for Greg from the newsstand?

“I don't say he's a great man. Willie Loman never made a lot of money. His name was never in the paper. He's not the finest character that ever lived. But he's a human being... So attention must be paid. He's not to be allowed to fall in his grave like an old dog. Attention, attention must finally be paid to such a person.” -- Death of A Salesman

"When I take the dirt nap, they'll put a statue like that for me at the newsstand." -- Greg Burgess

Jon Crowley over at Hollywood Thoughts, known for his definitive essays on Disneyana and Hollywood history, has literally made the world pay attention to the death… and life… of Greg Burgess.

Greg was the ZZ Top-looking guy who worked at the Sherman Oaks Newsstand at the corner of Van Nuys and Ventura. His passing Monday at the age of 59 might have gone unnoticed, if not for Dodger Jon and his touching, Pulitzer-worthy essay on the death of a newsman.

A tip of the Tabloid Baby hat to L.A. Observed for linking to Hollywood Thoughts. The story sped through Cyberspace. Other bloggers posted memories, and the L.A. Daily News today runs a feature-length obit on a guy who probably never thought twice about how important he was to the lives of other people:

"He brought smiles to the faces of passing motorists. Heard the cares of customers. Handed out toys to children. And for decades was a fixture at the landmark Sherman Oaks Newsstand.

Gregory Mark Burgess, the artist clerk whose smile had cheered passers-by at Van Nuys and Ventura boulevards since the early 1980s… News of his death raced this week across the blogosphere. Drew calls of condolences from Jay Leno's office. And shocked a Sherman Oaks community longing for the ZZ Top-like hot-rodder perched each evening with a copy of your favorite news mag or paper.

“He was the jewel of the neighborhood,” said Jon Crowley… “He knew everybody. He cared for everybody. He belonged to everybody. He was the outdoor bartender... but instead of pouring a drink, he'd pour out words of wisdom.”

Burgess, a native of Columbus, Ohio, was raised in Covina and the inland town of Perris, where he developed a life-long love of hot rods, Harleys and high-heeled curves. A hell-raiser, he raced drag bikes, wrenched on top-fuel dragsters-- and spent at least one night in jail for joy-riding the fire chief's car…

Sunday through Thursday, rain or shine - Burgess always had a joke. A smile. Some advice. Or a copy of your favorite "Forbes" or "Easy Rider" tucked beneath the register. Leno of "Tonight Show" and Max Baer of "The Beverly Hillbillies" were regulars….

When he wasn't peddling news, the man whose favorite artists are Jackson Pollack and Von Dutch loved to tour art galleries, cars shows or create "rockabilly" art with homemade frames. His company, Scavenger Enterprises, fashioned model cars.

…Once, when eyeballing art in Orange County... Burgess noticed a statue of the famous Laguna Beach greeter. "He said, 'When I take the dirt nap, they'll put a statue like that for me at the newsstand."'

A statue for newsguy Greg?

Wouldn’t that be something. A statue for all the newsmen, artists, writers and folks who mean so much but never get the credit or more than a passing nod.

Get moving, Hollywood Thoughts.

We’ll make the first donation. Let’s get Leno… and Max Baer... and ZZ Top...to follow.

Run, Conan, Run

"NBC chief Jeff Gaspin said the network is pulling the plug on The Jay Leno Show beginning February 12, and he is in active negotiations to try and keep Leno and Conan O'Brien on NBC..."

Exclusive: British guy comes to America to write book on US-UK relations-- and to meet 500 celebs

We don't subscribe to the idea that British people all have bad teeth. We understand that the island nation discovered fluoride sometime in the Seventies, just as they managed to spin out a chef or two and learn to cook in the past fifteen years. We do hold the belief that all British men have had at least one gay experience, and that even the most lady-killing British male is overcompensating for a buggering in his schooldays-- a prejudice enforced over the weekend when we cracked open Victor Spinetti's book and later on the Virgin America flight home read an Esquire UK article about some hot tart named Rosamund Pike who claimed her hottest romance was with a guy who turned out to be gay and that they and his new boyfriend now go on threesome vacations together, not that there's anything wrong with any of that but which simply isn't so taken for granted in America.

Which leads us to Jules Segal, a young British guy who's arrived in the States to research a new book and embark on a stunt crusade to get 500 US celebrities "to sign a British flag with messages of support for the British people" (the flag will be auctioned for a kids' charity).


Jules pulled off a similar stunt in the UK, in which he got celebs like Cheri Blair, Ian McLellan, Jonathan Ross and Chris Martin, the bedwetting guy from Coldplay and a lot of people we're not familiar with (but who are very familiar in the UK) to shake his hand. He got a lot of publicity and a book out of the deal: Greeting The 500.

Now, like Sacha Baron Cohen, Toby Young and Marco Pierre White (well, not Marco Pierre White...) he's headed across the pond, and like de Tocqueville and Allan Whicker before him, will take the pulse of the big country while exploring the "special relationship" between the UK and the US, and speaking to Americans about their views on all things British, "our accents, our bad teeth, the Beckhams, our music, our common foreign policies, whether we should always go to war together..."

And then there are the 500 celebrities, a list he gathered from a Facebook poll and whom he's approaching quite formally, quite British, actually, through letters and proper channels as opposed to the good old American tradition of stalking.

We like the idea that Jules' project started out as a bet. Jules' mate gave him a list of 500 UK celebs and six months to get his photo taken shaking hands with as many as possible. He need to meet 20% of them to win the bet. Gambling comes into play this time as well:

"Jules has very little money, no full-time job and the residue of a gambling habit. In order to finance his trip, he has placed two bets with the William Hill bookmaking firm. One of these bets relates to how many of the 500 he will manage to meet in 90 days, the other bet will be paid out if amongst others, he meets Tiger Woods, Scarlet Johansson, Kanye West, Emeril Lagasse and Daniel Negreanu and completes a pre-arranged task with each of these individuals..."

The list follows. If you are on it or have an in with someone who is, you can reach him here. We spoke to Jules this week, he comes recommended by our pals at Anorak and we'll be keeping track of his progress.

Jules in in Los Angeles now. He's got quite a task ahead. Some of his target celebs are in prison; one or two may be dead.

Fellow journos: go out and do your jobs, run a feature on The US-Say project and book this guy for your shows.

Segal's List
‘500 Americans’

50 cent Aaron Sorkin Adam Sandler Adam West Al Jarreau Al Roker Al Sharpton Al Gore Al Pacino Al Unser Jr Alan Dershowitz Alan Alda Alan Greenspan Alex Trebek Alex Rodriguez Alexi Lalas Alice Cooper America Ferrera Andre 3000 Angelina Jolie Ann Coulter Anna Wintour Anne Rice Annie Liebowitz Anthony Bourdain Antonio Fargas Ariana Huffington A Schwarzenegger Arsenio Hall Art Garfunkel Ashley Olsen Axl Rose Barack Obama Barbra Streisand Barbara Walters Barry Bonds Ben Stiller Beth Ditto Betty Ford Betty White Big Bird Bill Bryson Bill Cosby Bill Maher Bill Clinton Bill Gates Bill Murray Billy Crystal Billy Graham Billie Jean King Billy Ray Cyrus Bo Derek Bo Jackson Bob Beamon Bob Dylan Bob Woodward Brad Pitt Bret Easton Ellis Britney Spears Bruce Campbell Bruce Springsteen Bruce Willis Burt Reynolds Butch Harmon Calvin Klein Cameron Diaz Carl Lewis Carly Fiorina Carrie Fisher Carson Kressley Casey Kasem Charles Barkley Charles Manson Charlie Kaufman Cheech Cher Chevy Chase Chris Rock Christopher Gardner Christian Bale Christian Slater Christina Aguilera Christy Turlington Chubby Checker Chuck Norris Chuck Palahniuk Cindy Crawford Clint Eastwood Colin Powell Condoleeza Rice Courtney Cox Courtney Love Dale Earnhardt Jr Dan Rather Dan Brown Dan Aykroyd Dan Castellaneta Dan Marino Dan Quayle Dane Cook Daniel Libeskind Daniel Negreanu Danielle Steele Danny de Vito Dave Brubeck Dave Chapelle Dave Grohl Dave Lee Roth David Duke David Geffen David Blaine David Copperfield David Hasselhoff David Letterman David Lynch David Mamet David Schwimmer David Soul Debbie Harry Debbie Gibson Dennis Hopper Dennis Rodman Denzel Washington Derek Jeter Diana Ross Diane Sawyer Dick Cheney Duane Chapman Dolly Parton Don King Donald Rumsfeld Donald Sutherland Donald Trump Donna Karan Donnie Wahlberg Donny Osmond Doris Day Doyle Brunson Dr Dre Dr John Dr Ruth Dr Phil Drew Barrymore Dustin Hoffman Ed Moses Eddie Murphy Eliot Spitzer Ellen DeGeneres Emeril Lagasse Eminem Evander Holyfield Fats Domino Fergie Florence Henderson Frank Oz Frank Gehry Fred Savage Garth Brooks Garry Shandling Gary Busey Gary Coleman Gary Larson Gene Simmons Gene Wilder George Foreman George Lucas George Romero George Lopez George Pataki George W Bush George Clooney Gilbert Godfrey Gore Vidal Grace Jones Greg Louganis Gwyneth Paltrow Harper Lee Harrison Ford Harry Connick Jr Harvey Weinstein Harvey Keitel Hayden Panettiere Heidi Fleiss Henry Winkler Henry Kissinger Hilary Hahn Hillary Clinton Howard Stern Hugh Hefner Hulk Hogan Ice Cube Ice T Iggy Pop Isaac Mizrahi Jack Nicklaus Jack Black Jack Nicholson Jackie Chan Jackie Mason James Gandolfini James Horner James Earl Jones James Ellroy James Hellwig James Woods Jane Fonda Janice Dickinson Jason Bateman Jasper Johns Jaws (Richard Kiel) Jay Leno Jay-Z JD Salinger Jeff Gordon Jeff Goldblum Jeff Koons Jeff Skoll Jenna Jameson Jennifer Aniston Jennifer Lopez Jermain Jackson Jerry Rice Jerry Bruckheimer Jerry Springer Jesse Draper Jesse Jackson Jesse Ventura Jessica Simpson Jessica Alba Jim Brown Jim Davis Jim Carrey JJ Abrams Joan Rivers Jodie Foster Joe Montana Joe Pesci Joe Torre John Glover Roberts John Williams John Irving John Bobbit John Cusack John Daly John Glenn John Grisham John Malkovich John McEnroe Jon Stewart John Travolta John Wooden Johnny Depp Jon Bon Jovi Jordin Sparks Jordy Chandler Jorge Posada Josh Holloway Judd Nelson Judith Sheindlin Julia Roberts Justin Timberlake Kanye West Karl Rove Kate Hudson Kathleen Battle Kathy Ireland Kathie Lee Gifford Katie Couric Kato Kaelin Keanu Reeves Kelly Slater Kelly Clarkson Ken Starr Kenny Rogers Kevin Bacon Kevin Federline Kevin Smith Kiefer Sutherland Kim Cattral Kirsten Dunst Kobe Bryant Laffit Pincay Lance Armstrong Larry King Larry Seinfeld Larry Craig Larry David Larry Hagman Lee Corso Leonard Nimoy Leonardo di Caprio Linda Carter Lindsay Lohan Liza Minnelli Loretta Lynn Lou Ferrigno Lou Reed Louis Farrakhan Lucy Liu M N Shyamalan Macaulay Culkin Madeleine Albright Madonna Magic Johnson Malcolm Glazier Marc Jacobs Marie Osmond Marilyn Manson Marc McGwire Mark Zuckerburg Martha Stewart Martin Scorsese Martina Navratilova Mary-Kate Olsen Matisyahu Matt Damon Matt Groening Matthew Broderick Maya Angelou MC Hammer Meatloaf Mel Brooks Michael Bloomberg Michael Chertoff Michael Dell Michael Douglas Michael Griffin Michael J Fox Michael Jackson Michael Johnson Michael Jordon Michael Moore Michael Phelps Michelle Kwan Michelle Wie Mike Judge Mike Tyson Mikhail Baryshnikov Missy Elliot Moby Molly Ringwald Monica Lewinsky Mookie Wilson Morgan Freeman Morgan Spurlock Mr T Muhammed Ali Nadia Comaneci Nancy Cartwright Nancy Pelosi Neil Armstrong Neil Diamond Nicole Richie Noam Chomsky N Schwartzkopf OJ Simpson Oliver North Oprah Winfrey Oscar de la Hoya Owen Wilson P Diddy Pamela Anderson Paris Hilton Pat Sajak Patricia Arquette Patty Hearst Paul Auster Paul Shaffer Paul Teutul Paul Wolfowitz Paula Abdul Pauly Shore Pee Wee Herman Penn Jillette Perez Hilton Pete Sampras Peter Falk Peyton Manning Phil Mickleson Philip Glass PJ O’Rourke Prince Queen Latifah Q Tarrantino Quincy Jones Ralph Lauren Ralph Macchio Ray Liotta Reese Witherspoon Reggie Bush Regis Philbin Revered Al Green Richard Gere Richard Petty Rick Warren Ricki Lake Robert Rauschenberg Robert DeNiro Robin Williams Rodney King Roger Clemens Roger Ebert Ron Howard Ron Popeil Ron Jeremy Rosanna Arquette Rose McGowan Rosie Perez Ross Perot Roy Innis Ru Paul Rudolf Giuliani Rush Limbaugh Ryan Seacrest Samuel L Jackson Sara Silverman Sarah Jessica Parker Sarah Michelle Gellar Scarlett Johanssen Scooter Libby Sean Penn Siegfried & Roy Serena Williams Seth Macfarlane Sharon Stone Sheryl Crow Smokey Robinson Sophia Coppola South Park guys Spike Jonze Spike Lee Stephen Sondheim Stephen Colbert Stephen King Steve Buscemi Steve Carell Steve Guttenberg Steve Jobs Steve Martin Steve-O Steve Williams Steve Wynn Steven Spielberg Stevie Nicks Stevie Wonder Susannah Hoffs Sylvester Stallone Ted Danson Ted Koppel Ted Turner Teddy Kennedy Terry O’Quinn The Fridge The Rock Thomas Mesereau Tiffany Tiger Woods Tila Tequila Tim Gunn Tim Robbins Tim Sale Timbaland Tom Anderson Tom Brokaw Tom Clancy Tom Cruise Tom Hanks Tom Selleck Tommy Franks Tommy Hilfiger Tommy Moe Tony Danza Tony Hawk Tony Robbins Tony Romo Tonya Harding Traci Lords Ty Pennington Tyra Banks Uma Thurman Vanilla Ice Vanna White Vera Wang Verne Troyer Vince Vaughan Vincent Gallo Walter Kronkite Warren Buffett Weird Al Yankovitch Wentworth Miller Wes Andersen Whoopi Goldberg Will Ferrell Will Smith William Shatner Willie Nelson Wolfang Puck Woody Allen Zach Braff Zsa Zsa Gabor

See The Spectacles play live!

Now's your chance to see The Spectacles and hear for yourself why these indie rock heroes are the talk of LA's underground music scene.

All summer, they've been huddled away recording a new album that's taking their signature sound into Brianwilsonesque levels of majesty in what we've called "the definitive rock music statement on LA's summer of 2007."

But Thursday night, they'll be in Hollywood, exposed to nightlight if not daylight when they perform at the legendary Molly Malone's Irish Pub on Fairfax. Molly Malone's is world-famous as a showcase for future stars including Lenny Kravitz, Joan Osborne, Michelle Shocked, Weezer & Flogging Molly.

And the joint is just a block or so away from CBS Television City on Fairfax & Beverly, where Craig Ferguson records his Late Late Show. The Scot's talent bookers could do worse than to get The Spectacles on the show before they break big and hop straight to Jay Leno.

That's Thursday, August 23rd. 8:30 pm. Molly Malone's.

575 S. Fairfax Ave., Los Angeles. Details at 323.935.1577.

And expect a celeb or two among the crowd.

Keifer Sutherland is an early fan (seen left, at a Spectacles show). "We even gave him our first CD, Hey, Ice Cream, which he left in the bar, but then made a special trip back to get, and then thanked us emphatically," bass player Travis Fields tells us. "Also, (lead singer) Brent (Crowe) and I once picked up Alice N Chains star Jerry Cantrell on the side of Laurel Canyon one night after a Spectacles performance.

"I don't know how that ties in to anything, but I thought I'd mention it."

Now The New York Times catches up with Tabloid Baby's coverage of Howard Stern's irrelevance and probable return to free radio

We've been discussing the disappearance and irrelevance of former radio star Howard Stern for about three years now, since he abandoned his loyal audience for a cashout in the private world of pay satellite radio. All signs have pointed to Stern's eventual return to free radio and this year's proliferation of free Internet radio is hastening the eventuality.

The Los Angeles Times followed our lead in October. This morning, the New York Times shared the writing on the wall.

Some highlights:

The New York Times
December 28, 2008

Satellite Radio Still Reaches for the Payday

By TIM ARANGO

DID you hear what Howard Stern said the other day? Neither did we. But we read about it on a blog.

Mr. Stern, the ribald radio jock who once commanded attention with each off-color utterance and obscene joke, mused recently on the air that he was thinking of retiring when his contract expires in two years. “This is my swan song,” he said.

Back in the day when Mr. Stern was on free radio and had an audience of 12 million, that remark would have cascaded through the media universe. But by switching to satellite radio three years ago, Mr. Stern swapped cultural cachet for big money.

Then — poof! — Mr. Stern all but disappeared. Even Jay Leno, during a recent interview with The New York Times about his decision to stay at NBC to host a prime-time show, cited Mr. Stern as an example of the dangers of obscurity.

…Mr. Stern’s retirement chatter did get one group talking: investors fretting over the fate of Sirius XM Radio, the satellite radio company that has been Mr. Stern’s home for the past three years.

Today, five months after regulators approved a merger of Sirius and XM, satellite radio’s pioneers and former rivals, in a deal that was supposed to deliver their industry to the promised land of profits and permanence, the company faces an uncertain future.

Although Mr. Stern brought listeners and prominence to Sirius, the move had a steep cost. His blockbuster, $500 million, five-year deal fueled a high-stakes competition between the two services that contributed to Sirius XM’s current bind.

…The company has never turned a profit and cannot predict when it ever will. Cap that with the struggles of Detroit — the bulk of new satellite radio subscribers come from partnerships with automakers — and you have a set of obstacles that Sirius XM has to overcome at the very moment the recession seems to be deepening.

The satellite radio industry… is facing a media environment that is shifting toward cheaply distributed content over the Internet.

…Who needs satellites… when the world is wired for broadband and Wi-Fi?

Mel Karamzin, the combative, longtime radio man who is the company’s chief executive… asks: “Would I like to have seen Howard get less money? Yes. But I think any company that deals with content would say the same thing.”

Mr. Karmazin, when asked if he thinks Mr. Stern has lost his place in the culture, says: “I think the size of the audience is less today. And I think one of the things Howard was looking forward to with the merger is that we’ll have twice as many subscribers potentially available to listen to him.”

Mr. Stern declined to be interviewed for this article, but his travails are emblematic of satellite radio and Sirius XM’s own shrinking horizons.

It seems that if Mr. Stern were to stay beyond his current contract, which expires at the end of 2010, he would have to accept less money, given the finances of the company and the fact that there are no longer two satellite radio companies battling each other…

“I’m starting to think that he might actually retire,” says Mark Mercer, who since the mid-1990s has written a daily blog about the Stern show, which has become a nearly minute-by-minute account of each program.

…Even Mr. Mercer, as diehard a Stern fan as there is, acknowledges that Mr. Stern’s gig doesn’t have the same influence it once did.

“Once you get used to hearing it on Sirius, it’s not as shocking as it was when you heard him on terrestrial radio and they’d be bleeping him out,” he says.

The next televised celebrity murder trial

Phil Spector hasn't had a hit in years, but he's lined up to become the next biggest media star in the world one month from tomorrow, when he stars as the defendant in the next live courtroom celebrity murder trial-- the first celeb courtroom case to be televised from Los Angeles since the OJ Simpson trial.

Too young to have heard of Spector? Don't think he counts as a celebrity? Well, his trial's got sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll, Viagra, bullets, kink, pop culture, the Sunset Strip, Roger Corman flicks, lots of Hollywood noir sleaze-- and a castle! And remember, neither OJ nor Robert Blake were exactly celebutards.

This being L.A., the judge who okayed the cameras in his court--and guaranteed another media circus when trial begins on March 19-- actually mentioned "The Dancing Itos" when he made his decision!

The Dancing Itos were the chorus line of bearded Asian men in judge's robes that was trotted out with regularity on The Tonight Show during the Simpson trial-- Jay Leno's way of mocking trial judge Lance Ito and getting cheap laughs from the slaughter of a young mother and her friend.

"I'm sure Judge Ito did not expect to turn on 'The Tonight Show' and see the Dancing Itos," Superior Court Judge Larry Fidler said on Friday. " "I don't worry about seeing the Flying Fidlers."

Spector, the Sixties record producer behind the "Wall of Sound" and legendarily volatile nutjob, is charged with killing aging B-movie actress Lana Clarkson at his home in the early hours of February 3, 2003, after he picked her up at The House of Blues on the Strip, where she was working as a hostess. He allegedly made some kinds of incriminating statements after Roger Corman's legendary Barbarian Queen was found shot in the mouth in the vestibule of his creepy castle in an LA suburb. He's remained free on bail for more than four years-- four years!

How's that for justice?

Two notes: Spector shows up in the book Tabloid Baby, the definitive account of the OJ Simpson media circus. And we produced a Court TV hour on Spector, Lana and the murder case-- back when it was fresh. So stay tuned here for some good inside stuff...

So what about the Masturbating Bear?

So NBC is finally wrapping up the Conan O'Brien debacle and, after a break for the Olympics, will head into another three months of critical headlines about the mediocrity of Jay Leno when he gets the timeslot back. Conan and his people played it well-- a lot better than he played as host of The Tonight Show, which we all stopped watching after the first week (he never should have brought back Andy Richter-- it was a retreat to the infantile comedy he did in the early days of The Late Show, not even Letterman does the hip "irony" thing anymore, and Conan didn't click as a full-fledged talent until after he dumped the playacting sidekick and went solo). The only question that matters is whether NBC gets to keep the "intellectual property rights" to his sketches which would mean it's the last anyone will ever see of The Masturbating Bear.

One thing the saga did demonstrate was how the corporate porn-pushing gossip site TMZ.com is consistently wrong in its reporting and how dangerous it is for lazy paid mainstream journos to use it as a source. From its ever-shifting details of the contents and timing of the settlement, the site and its shaved bronzed midget frontman made it clear that, as when they rolled the dice in reporting the death of Michael Jackson prematurely, they make shit up, and as long as they have supporters like Brian Stelter at the New York Times to give them attribution and feature stories whenever they happen to be correct, they're golden.

Until we see that Kimmel-Silverman sex tape, David Letterman's got the most embarrassing late night scandal

First Conan O'Brien winds up hospitalized with a concussion after hitting his head during a silly stunt on his show, then comes word that someone's about to release a sex tape that Jimmy Kimmel made with Sarah Silverman, and now David Letterman says his sexual affairs with members of his staff led to an extortion attempt. Not a good week for the white guys of late night television. We'd guess Jay Leno is sitting pretty right about now.