Blogger reconsiders The Hudson Brothers

We’ve been writing for a while now about a revival of interest in the Hudson Brothers, the rock n roll trio turned pop culture legends thanks to their unexpected turn as Seventies variety television stars and friendships and collaborations with the likes of John Lennon, Harry Nilsson and M. Richard Monda. The combination of new fan-created MySpace pages, video clips on YouTube, attention on the Internet and their work together behind the scenes on The Seventh Python film was enough to win them our 2007 Comeback of The Year award.

And now we hear that LA’s Mark & Brian morning radio team took time out from their time-killing hours of playing Trivial Pursuit on the air (either the most passive-aggressive work action in the medium’s history or a brilliant Kaufmanesque take on Godot) for a riff that went from Britney Spears’ shaved head to Brett Hudson’s short haircut to the Grammy Awards and whether the show will include a Hudson Brothers tribute.

Though we suspect they were “making fun,” M&B must be aware of the grassroots movement to boycott The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and its czar Jann Wenner’s Rolling Stone magazine if they continue to refuse to seriously consider the very influential Hudsons in the Performer or Lifetime Achievement categories.

And the movement spreads, as reflected in "Maybe I had them pegged all wrong," a posting this week from journo Erik Hogstrom’s Route 1 blogsite. The Dubuque Telegraph Herald reporter, Heartland hipster and self-professed “music geek” writes about compiling an iPod playlist “full of songs my sister Inger and I would have heard on KFRC 610 -- a former Bay Area Top 40 station we enjoyed during the heyday of AM radio”:

“While compiling my playlist, I have discovered three categories of songs:

1) Songs I will always love ("Chevy Van" by Sammy Johns).

2) Songs I will always hate ("Playground in my Mind" by Clint Holmes).

3) Songs I once hated, but now I think I might like them -- but -- maybe --
OK, yeah I like them.

This latter category includes "So You Are a Star" by THE HUDSON BROTHERS.

I always thought there was something phony about The Hudson Brothers when I was a kid. I watched them on "The Hudson Brothers Razzle Dazzle Show," for one thing. The kids' show also featured Rod Hull and that Emu puppet of his. I hated them. Now, more than three decades later, I am starting to think I might have been wrong about Mark, Bill and Brett. "So You Are a Star" sounds a little like Wings, which is OK.

I also now know that Mark Hudson is a bit of a musical savant. He has co-written a dozen Aerosmith songs and produced Ringo Starr, among others. Bill Hudson holds the distinction of having married not one but *TWO* of my childhood dreamgirls -- Goldie Hawn and Cindy Williams. Brett Hudson became a television producer.

So, there was apparently some talent in those boys from Portland, Ore., even if I couldn't see it at the time.

Video plus! Dr. Ruehl's Realm of Bizarre News

The Realm Of Bizarre News, Episode VII

Tabloid Baby pal, contributor , columnist and music video star Dr. Franklin Ruehl, Ph.D. is back with his one hundred and forty eighth list of the Top Thirteen stories in the week's "Realm of Bizarre News":

* Was the luxury liner "Queen Victoria" cursed when a bottle of champagne swung against its side by the Duchess of Cornwall failed to break during its naming ceremony? Quite possibly, considering that several of its passengers were hit by a norovirus on only its 2nd voyage to sea!

* Bizarre crop circle sheep! Approximately 100 of the woolly critters on a farm in Herefordshire, England formed a perfect circle, on their own initiative, maintaining it for 10 minutes! Then, a short time later, 3 fields away, another group configured themselves in a circular formation for roughly 10 minutes!

Trivia Q: What is the term meaning "sheeplike?" (Answer below)

* Ouch! Ouch! As a man was collecting crocodile eggs in Darwin in the Northern Territory of Australia, a croc suddenly grabbed him, shaking him violently. A rescuer fired 2 shots: one hit the croc, the other hit the man in the arm, who was then helicoptered to a hospital to be treated for both croc bites and a bullet wound!

* A Hindu priest in Chhattisgarh, India committed suicide by consuming poison, claiming that he would emerge from beyond the grave after 3 days. His followers kept a vigil outside the locked room where his body was being kept, but, alas, he never returned to the living!

* An automotive Bermuda Triangle encircles a 5-block zone of the Empire State Building where several cars daily suddenly stall. Rather than a paranormal cause, experts hypothesize that radio frequency interference from the building may be jamming keyless entry systems on afflicted vehicles.

* Acclaimed opera tenor Juan Diego Florez swallowed a fish bone which became lodged in his throat and caused an infection that forced him out of commission for two long months.

Please, if you are going to eat fish, fillet it first. We cannot have this befalling any of you!

* Matthew 5:30 advises: "And, if they right hand offend thee, cut it off and cast it from thee." A man in Hayden, Idaho took this verse seriously: when he saw the mark of the Devil in his right hand (possibly the satanic '666'), he cut it off with a circular saw, had the presence of mind to place a tourniquet around the stump, then microwaved the hand until it was withered so it could not be reattached. Definitely a man of principle (also, a strong candidate for our "Doofus of the Week " award).

* Gang in Sweden is hiding dwarves inside sports bags that are placed in the luggage compartments of buses...the pint-sized thieves then rifle through the other luggage, stealing any valuables contained within!

* An infant planet has been discovered in orbit about the star TW Hydrae, some 180 light years from earth, which is only 10 million years old! It is a huge body, some 9.8 times the dimensionality of Jupiter. This finding demonstrates that planet formation is commonplace, occurring early in each star's evolution, arguing for the possibility of life evolving on all of them! This discovery is indeed proof that the universe is teeming with life!

* Clever Alcon blue butterflies coat their larvae with an ant smell and leave them on plants where deceived ants take them back to their colony and nurture them!

* A terminally ill dad from Blackburn, England had made arrangements for his burial after his death, but was stunned to find his own tombstone already placed in the cemetery, complete with his photo (but with no death date added).

* An Italian airport in Bari has recruited a large golden eagle named Cheyenne to chase foxes away from the runway! Traps, poison, and ultrasound have proved futile in scaring off the vulpines.

* Bad idea! A female bank robber in Sandy Springs, Georgia, was nabbed waiting for a bus after getting a satchel of cash (a dye bomb inside it exploded, spraying her and the money with orange ink, making her easy to identify).

Trivia Answer: "Ovine" mean sheeplike.

TOP TIP: Dr. Ruehl's television pilot, "Crimetime Suspense Theatre," airs tomorrow (Friday) evening at 9 pm on Time Warner's Los Angeles area cable system. The show features highlights from two suspense films-- Too Late For Tears and Colonel March of Scotland Yard-- and two mystery series: D.O.A. and The Adventures of Dr. Fu Manchu.

What's right with Conway & Whitman's radio show illustrates what's so wrong with Adam Carolla's

You should have heard Tim Conway Jr. and Brian Whitman, the night team on KLSX Radio in LA (where Adam Carolla whiles away the mornings) break down Larry King’s Snoop Dogg interview last night. It was a casual radio classic: two guys stopping and starting a tape and riffing on it, cracking each other up, and in the process, entertaining a wide audience.

As we were laughing out loud in the car, we realized that what’s right about these two guys, paired up by management in 2005 after Conway’s partner, old Midwestern comedy writer Dennis Ray Steckler was bounced, demonstrate what’s so wrong about the failed yet highly-paid morning man.

Among other serious deficiencies, Carollas’s got no one to bounce jokes or ideas off. Since he maneuvered the ouster of Danny Bonaduce, a cohost who was more than his equal in experience and charisma (yet who gamely took the second chair), he continues his self-indulgent monotony in a vacuum. His fawning, self-described “news girl” is like a nervous beaten puppy, trying to please her master by parroting the ends of his sentences, while the only other on air voices are those of crew members who act like members of a jock club of which Carolla is president.

In a radio roundup a few years back, weeks before Carolla was handed the microphone, we’d listed Conway & Whitman under “Sad” because of the way they’d simply carried on the Conway-Steckler shtick and bits. In the time since, though, they’ve developed their own chemistry and style, and when they’re doing live shows from bars or casinos, urging women to pull off their shirts, they’ve settled into a rare, classic talk radio groove. Conway has always been one of the driest, most cynical old school wits in radio, more Hollywood Park than Hollywood, and Whitman, a radio impressionist, is quick and very funny, with a very good Rick Dees.

One sour note: We almost didn’t make it to the Larry King bit, thanks to a bit, featuring a woman called “Robin” reading the news in an exaggerated Margaret Dumont voice, that was so annoying we’d switched stations until she went away. Whether she’s a consultant’s addition, someone's wife or another Whitman voice, she needs to go.

You can probably find Conway & Whitman's King-Snoop (and "Robin with the news") segment here.

Kinky treats await in Disneyland's Dream Suite

Disneyland is revealing the secrets of Walt Disney's "Dream Suite," the fancy hotel apartment they're building above the Pirates of the Caribbean ride in the middle of Disneyland. With a Jungle Room bedroom, Fantasyland bathroom, and buttons on the walls to push when you're "ready to go to bed, and something special will happen," the park's new prize promises to be kinkier than even we'd imagined.

The suite, which Walt Disney envisioned as a place for entertaining, is still under construction in New Orleans Square but Disney this morning launched a sweepstakes that would give one lucky winner the chance to spend the night in the secluded suite-- which sounds like a lot of fun to us if you were given access to the rides and shows, underground tunnels and Club 33 (the members-only restaurant and only place in the park that serves alcohol). But from what we can gather,you'd be stuck in your Fantasy bathtub around the corner from Tarzan's Treehouse with no one out there but a valet or two and the park's maintenance people and security.

Here's what they're telling season passholders:

As the Year of a Million Dreams continues, the surprises keep coming. And nothing could be more surprising than the latest "dream come true" -- because the dreamer was Walt Disney himself! Walt had originally intended to use the space in Disneyland Park above Pirates of the Caribbean for a private apartment where he could entertain friends and VIPs. Detailed watercolor sketches created in the '60s showed a luxurious and elegant retreat, right in the heart of his beloved Park, but the suite was never completed. Now, dubbed 'the Dream Suite,' his apartment is being brought to life based on his original vision, with some very special surprises added. To see what awaits the lucky Guests who stay there, we talked to Kim Irvine, Walt Disney Imagineering Art Director on the Dream Suite project.

"Dorothea Redmond was an illustrator who had done some major pictures like 'Gone with the Wind.' She was asked by Walt to do most of the interior designs for the shops and restaurants in New Orleans Square at Disneyland. She had a really beautiful watercolor style -- kind of impressionistic, but all the detail was there. So he asked her to illustrate each room of his suite," she explains...

Kim was well-prepared for the project: "I've been looking at the sketches for years now, because the place where the suite is being built is where the Disney Gallery used to be for years. A lot of the Disney fans knew that at one time that was going to be Walt's apartment, so we posted copies of the paintings up there so they could see what it would have looked like. The Imagineers got so far with the construction up there -- they put in the fireplace mantel and some of the decorative crown moldings, and the parquet floor that she has very clearly illustrated in her paintings -- and then they stopped. So it was very interesting to look at the paintings and say 'Oh, I can see that!' and imagine what it would have looked like if they had been able to finish it. So our idea was to finish the suite, and get it as close as we could to the illustrations -- so that we're actually making Walt's dream come true, too!"

Although she'd been looking at Dorothea's watercolors for years, it was only when Kim began work on making the suite a reality that she realized there was a hidden theme to the renderings. "We noticed that each room has a little bit of a different style to it, although they blend together beautifully. And the styles actually mimic the Lands at Disneyland. I had never recognized it before after all those years of seeing the renderings, but once I really studied them I saw this pattern. We decided to take that storyline and go with it. It's very subtle -- it doesn't hit you in the face that each room has a Land theme -- but it is there."

The main sitting room of the suite is very New Orleans, decorated in French blue and mauve, and featuring a room divider with New Orleans scenes. The informal sitting room captures the spirit of Frontierland, with masculine colors and a Franklin stove. The little study is very Main Street -- Victorian with red-and-white striped wallpaper that recalls the good old days. On the other side of the suite, the main bedroom backs right up to Adventureland -- you can actually hear the animals from the Jungle Cruise when you're in that room. It has that exotic Victorian look that was popular in that era -- cane seating, leafy fabric, greens, and blues. Although the bathroom was not included in the original paintings, Kim and her team decided to extend the "land" theme there -- with spectacular results.

"One of the things I think the Guests will say is their favorite is the master bathtub," Kim smiles. "The master bathroom was never rendered by Dorothea -- we did it as our kind of nod to Fantasyland. There's a big sunken tub, surrounded by arches filled with glass mosaic showing Aurora standing by a pool of water. Within the stained glass tiles are fiber-optic stars. When you go in and push the button the lighting in the room goes way down and the stars come on, music begins to play, and it's a very elegant bathing experience!"

The luxurious surroundings aren't all indoors. The suite also incorporates a courtyard patio invisible to Park Guests, and a redesigned balcony looking over Pirates of the Caribbean -- a spot that becomes the best seat in the house for the nightly performance of the spectacular Fantasmic!

The suite is meticulously detailed to match the vision Walt and Dorothea expressed -- but there are some very contemporary touches tucked inside. "It's ADA-accessible. It has hookups for computers. It has great systems for audio and video." Dorothea reassures us that "it's incorporated very well into the surroundings -- there's no elegant room with a bigscreen TV in the middle of it!"

Guests will also have the services of a personal round-the-clock concierge, ensconced in a separate suite across the hall. Lastly, there are what the Imagineers are calling "special moments" to surprise and delight Guests. "I think that being in Disneyland, people expect something magical to happen to them -- a step further than being in a beautiful, elegant hotel room, but also that there were some special moments," explains Kim. "So we included these in all three main rooms, and we're calling them 'a kiss goodnight.' There's a button on the wall of each room that they push when they're ready to go to bed, and something special will happen."

Disney.com's Dreams Come True sweepstakes runs through February. Five lucky entrants will each win trips to the Disney Parks. The grand prize winner gets a stay in the completed Dream Suite. The link to the sweepstakes is here.

...the latest and the greatest of them all

Exclusive! Inside the big Israel baseball meeting: No decisions, and most likely, no 2008 season

All the major backstage players in the first and last season of the Israel Baseball League-- bar one (or should we say "Bar-as one?") got together in New York City Thursday to hash out plans to get the game back on track after the disastrous organizational and financial morass that was first revealed by Our Man Elli in Israel within days of the field crew pulling up homeplate for the final time.

The meeting was meant to be secret. The participants were told specifically to not talk to the great journalist and baseball lover Elli Wohlgelernter.

Guess what? Most of them did talk. And we talked to Elli about an hour ago:

Tabloid Baby: Where the hell have you been?

Our Man Elli: Trying to separate the-- what was that you said last week? The wheat from the Chass? That was a good one.

Let’s get to the meeting.

You can imagine, with an eight-plus-hour meeting, there was a lot to digest, especially working with the handicap of participants being told not to talk to me.

Cue the violins, Woodstein.

But a lot of them did.

Ha ha.

Right. But the bottom line, today, is that we don’t know. We don’t know anything about anything.

We waited five days for that? For that we could have called That Putz Greenberg—

Well, listen. It was a long, detailed meeting. And there were a lot of agendas—four basic ones: The Israel Baseball Leagues, the Israel Professional Baseball League that wants to take over, the ones who want to see the IBL debts paid and don’t care who pays them, and the ones who wanted everyone to agree on a league under new leadership, figuring out a way to address the old debts.

It was sometimes a little heated and it there was even some anger— but it was productive in that everything was laid out as to where things stand now, on every issue. Past, present and future. But at the end of the day, nothing was resolved.

Fewer teams & games?

So is there going to professional baseball in Israel this summer?

I don’t know. They don't know.

Isn’t it getting late for “they don’t know”?

Oh yes, very late indeed. And as this drags out, and as we get closer to the summer, one solution being contemplated is to reduce the number of teams to four, and to reduce the number of games, to make it easier to manage logistically in the time that remains.

Okay. Any surprises at the meeting?

One big surprise. Guess who showed up?

Osama bin Laden?

No.

Jackie Mason.

Dan Duquette! (The Israel Baseball League’s Director of Operations, at right). No one told me he was coming.

Duquette got some good press last week. The LA Times ran a big story about how he was ridiculed for letting Roger Clemens go from the Red Sox in '96--

Right. In the "twilight of his career."

But now that Clemens is accused of using steroids and human growth hormone in the years that followed, Duquette's been vindicated.

Yeah. Okay, Red Smith, you want I should continue?

The Participants

Right. Who was in the room— in the Penn Club in midtown Manhattan, so long ago?

Watch it.

It was last Thursday. It was a long time ago.

Just so happens, I have the names of the fourteen participants. It was mentioned on the original press release. I say "original" because they couldn’t even agree on the language of the release, so it was scrapped. But I have a copy.

Anyway, here’s the list:

1) Marvin Goldklang, minority share-holder of the New York Yankees and former member of the Advisory Board of the IBL, who chaired the meeting;
2) Dan Kurtzer, the former U.S. ambassador to Israel & Egypt and former commissioner of the IBL;
3) Marty Appel, former head of public relations for the IBL;
4) Jeff Rosen, former IBL investor and head of the newly-created Israel Professional Baseball League;
5) Michael Rollhaus, a former IBL investoraand investor in the IPBL;
6) Andrew Wilson, a facilitator on the ground for the IBL, who’s now working for Rosen and the IPBL;
7) Seth Cogan, financial adviser to Rosen, on the phone from Israel;
8) Martin Berger, president and COO of the IBL;
9) Dan Duquette, director of baseball operations of the IBL;
10) Jeffrey Royer, general partner of the Arizona Diamondbacks, the largest individual investor in the IBL;
11) Haim Katz, president of the Israel Association of Baseball, on the phone from Israel;
12) Mitchel Rosenzweig, chief financial officer of the Jewish National Fund, the single largest investor in the IBL;
13) Ami Baran, manager of the Netanya Tigers;
14) Jeff Goldklang, son of Marvin, and a former member of the IBL advisory board.

And you’ve told us that Larry Baras, Boston bagel baron Baras, the IBL founder, was not in attendance.

Uuhhh, don’t think there would have been any meeting had he attended. There’s too much animosity toward him.

Really.

Rosen, Rollhaus and Cogan expressed their deep loathing and bitterness, to say the least, towards Baras. They also expressed their sadness at the state of affairs brought on by Baras’s lack of transparency.

Was there any other anger at anyone else?

I’m sure there was.

C’mon.

What are you getting at?

"Wohl-ge-LIAR?"

Yeah. Someone at the meeting referred to me as “Wohlge-liar.” I’m trying to find out who.

Excuse me a second.

(NOTE: Do you know who in that meeting
called Our Man Elli “Elli Wohlge-liar?”
If you do, or if you can think of
any other funny takes
on Our Man Elli’s name,
email us here and we’ll send you a prize!)

Okay, where were we?

The meeting. The meeting itself held some promise. Everyone reasserted their belief in the concept of professional baseball in Israel. But Jeff Rosen’s group—the IPBL-- expressed strong opposition to paying any of the outstanding Israeli debts accumulated by the IBL, except the ones that are absolutely necessary to a continued operation.

Debts

How did the rest of them feel about picking up Baras’ debt?

Most all the other participants felt it was morally right-- and practically beneficial-- to pay most of those obligations in that they owed people who had placed their faith in the concept of professional baseball in Israel.

The IAB took the position that it was willing to consider working with any group that was willing to address the Israeli debts in a reasonable manner. And according to a confidential internal memo-- a copy of which was leaked to me by a recipient--

Nice.

-- Jeff Royer urged that the debts “be addressed in a proper manner."

But is it their problem?

To these guys, it’s a matter of establishing the financial credibility and image of the professional baseball game in Israel. Many players are still owed money. And so is Kfar Hayarok, where the players stayed. And there are other creditors who placed their trust not so much in the IBL, but in the concept of professional baseball. One of the participants told me that paying the creditors is the right thing to do, regardless of whether it's legally required of anyone other than the IBL and Baras.

Rosen, meanwhile, trued to attract additional investors for the IPBL, but everybody brushed it off. They want him to clarify his position on the debts and his proposed business plan. Rosen said he’d talk to his partners and report back.

What about the money the IBL still owes to Berger and Duquette?

Not a word. Neither Duquette nor Berger, nor anyone else talked about the money they’re owed. Although Cogan did complain at one point about the money he'd lost with the IBL.

How much?

I hear around $40,000.

2009?

Oh, and get this! Martin Berger indicated that Baras was working with a couple of prospective investors to bail out the IBL.

That must have went over really well.

No. It didn't go over well at all. From what I'm told-- and this is a quote: "Five people wanted to jump up and scream, 'STOP THE BULLSHIT!!!!' The others in the room were just too numb from over a year of hearing continual bullshit."

Nice.

And by the way, if you go to the IBL website, you'll see that Berger's name is no longer listed among the executives. (UPDATE: Berger's name was back on the IBL site the next day-- they read us!) There's only Baras, Duquette and Baras' son, Jeremy, the "Director of Game Experience," whatever that means.

How long until Duquette's name is down?

Hey, he's got his good baseball name back. Why sully it further?

Any other controversy?

Well, there was some disagreement on whether they should push for a season in 2008 or push it back until 2009, when improved facilities will be available and leaving more time to build a more professional organization and raise lots more money.

So it looks like 2009 at the earliest.

Look, the real question is whether any league is capable of mounting a serious marketing effort in time for a 2008 season. Right now, nobody has enough boots on the ground.

Get your boots back on the ground and get us more.

Later. I'm in a restaurant. A friend just walked in.

--click--

Where we saw a giant Super Bowl halftime penis, the NY Times saw a "mildly suggestive graphic"

New York Times music critic Jon Pareles validates our controversial Super Bowl halftime penis sighting this morning with the blasé insouciance of a New York City hipster who's seen it all before. As in: where we saw a giant illuminated phallus travelling through the darkened stadium to penetrate a heart-shaped box, Jon saw

"...a mildly suggestive graphic
of a lighted Flying V guitar
piercing a heart..."

Jon's identification of the guitar that was a logo on Petty's first album will boost his cred. Then again, in his praise of American Idol Jordin Sparks' rendition of The Star Spangled Banner, the Timesman neglects to mention that the girl was lip-synching.

How does Leno do it? With scab help, of course!

Well our Writers Guild of America strike may be coming to an end soon, but in its wake there will be niggling questions among us rank and file, like why the leadership got distracted trying to recruit reality television and animation writers in the middle of the action against the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers, and why late night hosts like Jay Leno and Jon Stewart were given a pass to defy their union blatantly and continue to write monologues and sketches by scabbing, and getting help from scabs.

Today’s New York Times touches on the latter subject with an odd article by Bill Carter, the chronicler of the late night wars and the one journo we'd expect to have the inside track on the late night show workings. The article about Jay Leno's ability to keep up his ratings and lead over Letterman despite the strike, leave sit a mystery as to how the host somehow manages to come up with something like two dozen fresh, topical jokes per night in his monologues:

"How does he do it?

"…Mr. Leno is performing the opening monologue, his show’s centerpiece, just as he always has, firing off joke after joke— 25 last Thursday alone for example. Many of the jokes were based on the Republican debate the night before. Others were more generic. But to most viewers they probably seemed indistinguishable from a monologue Mr. Leno might have given six months, or six years, ago.

"That has led to speculation about how he’s doing it. After all, the Writers Guild put out word that no new writing could be done during the strike. Mr. Leno met with the guild leadership before the strike and explained that he intended to perform a monologue he would write himself…

"That might not seem to account for 25 jokes a night, but Mr. Ludwin and others associated with the show say Mr. Leno’s three decades of work as a stand-up comic has been the biggest factor in those monologues.

"These associates say that Mr. Leno is pulling jokes from the deep pool of material he has used in his stand-up act, dropping in more generic — or just silly — jokes into his monologues... But he has also, the associates said, used his skills as a mechanic — Mr. Leno’s chief non-show-business passion is working on cars and motorcycles — to retool old jokes. One longtime writer said that Mr. Leno was taking lines he used about earlier politicians and refashioning them to involve contemporary figures.

"Some of Mr. Leno’s competitors still question how he is able to do this all by himself, night after night, especially while also darting off to stand-up gigs. Last Wednesday he flew to Phoenix for a Super Bowl-related performance after taping the show earlier that day…

We’d never have imagined that we’d have more sources in the late night world than Bill Carter, but from the start, we've been told by insiders that Leno is relying on the help of a few topnotch out-of-town jokewriters who fax, phone or email him gags every morning.

There are hundreds of these guys out there, pros who syndicate jokes to morning radio shows and late night show writing staffs alike (just do a Google search for “syndicated jokes” and you’ll get the idea)-- not mention comics on the road, stuck doing two nights at a HooHas in Cleveland, eager to win points from the Big Guy. Woody Allen got his start sending gags to Walter Winchell and Earl Wilson. Rodney Dangerfield would buy “no respect” one-liners for $25 to $100 each.

Weird middle-of-the-night Carson Daly got a lot of stick for seeking jokes from his pals; Leno is taking advantage of a Scab Nation, and just like any big corporation , he’s bringing in the scabs from out of town.

It’s unclear why Bill Carter is being coy, and odd that he left us to find the story between the lines.

Another Super Bowl, another halftime penis

And old Tom Petty's is way bigger than Prince's!

Dr. Ruehl stars in Top 20 music video

Tabloid Baby pal, contributor and columnist Dr. Franklin Ruehl, Ph.D. has recently made his mark as one of Hollywood's most sought-after television, commercial and movie actors, Now he's a video star. This morning, we caught him on VH1's Top 20 Countdown, as a star of the #15 entry, Sara Bareilles' Love Song (see him at 1:16 and 1:26). 

So what did Earl Butz say?

Earl Butz, Secretary of Agriculture under Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford, died this weekend at 98, leaving a colorfully offensive legacy and, thanks to the political correctness of the mainstream news media, a bit of a mystery as to why he's passed with such ignominy. Those of us of a certain age remember old Earl as one of the evil old squares of the psychotic Nixon administration-- but not a criminal— though he was a criminal, gong on to serve time in federal prison for tax evasion— but as an unhinged loose cannon who was forced to give his resignation to Gerald Ford for a racist "joke."

This morning, obits in the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, and Los Angeles Times mention that “Mr. Butz was forced to resign in October 1976 after telling a joke that was derogatory to blacks… Two years earlier, Mr. Butz apologized to the Vatican after criticizing the Roman Catholic Church’s stand on birth control by using a mock Italian accent while referring to the pope.”

But these papers of record protect us from the words that had become part of the cultural fabric in the Seventies thanks to Rolling Stone magazine, which in those years was an important political and cultural force itself.

Even Butz's hometown paper, the Indianapolis Star, which adds to Butz’ legacy by reporting that “he suggested there would be more food for humans if people would stop feeding dogs and cats,” drops the ball in the Pope's court saying only that Butz made a “birth control joke, involving Pope Paul VI, in a mock Italian accent,” and whitewashes his racist joke as an “infamous gaffe… an off-color joke about blacks, bathrooms and sex, told in private but made public."

It's bad enough that most of these major newspapers rely on an Associated Press obituary for the man who was the oldest living Cabinet member of any administration (when we now know they all have Britney Spears obits ready to roll), but it's most disheartening that the average American newspaper reader must finish the story and wonder: "What the Hell did the guy say?" Was he a Don Imus? A Charlie Rose? That chick from the Golf Channel?

Butz was wilder than that. He was one of the foremost casual bigots of our time.

His Papal barb:

"He no playa the game,
he no maka the rules."

Butz uttered the line in a “mock Italian accent” at the 1974 World Food Conference in Rome, making fun of Pope Paul VI’s opposition to "population control.”

A spokesman for New York’s Cardinal Cooke of the New York archdiocese demanded an apology, and the Secretary was reprimanded by the White House, which forced him to apologize. Butz issued a statement saying that he had not "intended to impugn the motives or the integrity of any religious group, ethnic group or religious leader."

His racist quip:

“The only thing the coloreds
are looking for in life
are tight pussy, loose shoes
and a warm place to shit."

News outlets revealed that Butz had made a racist remark in front of entertainer Pat Boone and former White House counsel John Dean while aboard a commercial flight to California following the Republican National Convention.

The October 18, 1976 issue of Time let the cat out of the bag:

Butz started by telling a dirty joke involving intercourse between a dog and a skunk. When the conversation turned to politics, Boone, a right-wing Republican, asked Butz why the party of Lincoln was not able to attract more blacks. The Secretary responded with a line so obscene and insulting to blacks that it forced him out of the Cabinet last week and jolted the whole Ford campaign. Butz said that "the only thing the coloreds are looking for in life are tight p - - - - , loose shoes and a warm place to s - - -."

Dean used the line in Rolling Stone, attributing it to an unnamed Cabinet officer. But New Times magazine enterprisingly sleuthed out Butz's identity by checking the itineraries of all Cabinet members.

Some newspapers published the remark. Others stated only that Butz had said something too obscene to print, and invited their readers to contact the editors if they wanted more information. The San Diego Evening Tribune offered to mail a copy of the whole quotation to anyone who requested it; more than 3,000 readers did.

Butz was forced to resign his cabinet post on October 4, 1976. He became the most sought–after Republican speaker on the lecture and after dinner circuits, and was named dean emeritus of Purdue University's School of Agriculture.

That's the story the "mainstream" newspaper editors were protecting all you young voters from.

Five years ago today

21st Century. 2008. February 2nd. Third Street Promenade. Santa Monica. California. USA.

Are we missing something here?

Now that's a First Lady

This morning, only three months after their first meeting, Mick Jagger's (and Eric Clapton's) former girlfriend, the supermodel- turned-pop-singer Carla Bruni and the French president, Nicolas Sarkozy, were married in a small, 20-minute civil ceremony at the Élysée Palace.

And in other news, the writers strike may be settled.

More (NSFW) pictures here. And here. Of Carla.

Why we read 'alt weeklies' only for the listings

Reason #12,000,003 is from the LA Weekly's review of David Sedaris's appearance at UCLA's Macgowan Hall Little Theater:

"...Put another way, David Sedaris was telling us that he'd never use the excuse of honesty to deliberately fart into the face of his audience and insist that it was art. Instead, he'd prefer to pass gas into a whoopee cushion and then place it under the collective sofa cushion of our more pompous and elitist and self-aggrandizing misconception of ourselves as noble creations with the understanding that the inappropriate sound of flatulence is only half of what's truly comical and absurd about the human condition. It is the stinkiness of life, after all, that forces us to celebrate our virtues as counterbalance."

"Damn the Israel baseball talks! Full speed ahead!" Upstart Israel Professional Baseball League announces tryouts-- and invites WOMEN!

While we await word on what the big Israel baseball machers came up with in their closed-door meeting in New York City, The Israel Professional Baseball League, the rival Miami-based group that rose up in November, amid the turmoil of the Israel Baseball League's postseason debt, lawsuit and resignation era, has gone online to announce tryouts for its own upcoming season in the Summer of 2008.


Two items of note:

1) They're charging players to try out. (Twenty-five dollars a head).

and

2) They're inviting women baseball players to try out ($12.50 a-- ) -- which could mean that the lawyers and attorney players behind the league are skirting anti-discrimination laws.

Or they're Reform.

FindSportsNow.com lists the showcases:

Brief Description Title: Israel Professional League Tryouts
Sport: Baseball
Posted by: andrew17
Age: Over 18
Price: $25 per person
Start Date: February 24, 2008
End Date: March 30, 2008
Gender: Co-ed

Detailed Description
The Israel Professional Baseball League (IPBL) will be holding tryouts in Miami, FL on February 24 and March 30.
To register online visit: www.trianglefs.com/ipbl

Location
Miami Dade College
11011 SW 104th St
Miami, FL

The IPBL page, part of the Triangle Financial Services website, states the tryouts are for the Summer 2008 season. They're also soliciting sponsors, interns and volunteers.

Order at Israel baseball meeting: "Don't tell Elli!"

In wake of the collapse of the Israel Baseball League, former officials, advisory board members, investors and would-be backers met yesterday at the Penn Club in midtown Manhattan to try and thrash out a new deal for a new professional baseball league in the Holy Land. So far, we've confirmed that Daniel Kurtzer, former IBL commissioner and US ambassador to Israel and Egypt, led the meting, Haim Katz, president of Israel's baseball governing body (who recently closed the door to the IBL) was on a speaker phone from Israel, and IBL founder Larry Baras was not invited or allowed inside.

Our Man Elli In Israel emailed a few more facts this morning:

"The meeting lasted over seven hours, right through a working lunch. Nothing was resolved, more talks to follow. Mitchell Rosenzweig, Chief Financial Officer of The Jewish National Fund, was also there.

"The room was told explicitly not to talk about the meeting to anyone, and specifically not to talk to me!

"They probably will have a press release this afternoon, but it will be Shabbat in fifteen minutes, so I won't see it till tomorrow night."

Don't talk to Elli? After all the great work he's done, they oughta be giving him an exclusive report. Meanwhile, we guess we'll be back after Elli's commune with G-d.

Still... (yawn)... developing...

'Basketball Man' rules on sale for $10 million

The Original 13 Rules of Basketball, drafted by the game’s inventor Dr. James Naismith in 1891 and reintroduced to the world in last year’s nonfiction feature film, Basketball Man (see "What ever happened to Basketball Man?"), are being put up for sale by the Naismith family.

The family-- and their charitable Naismith International Basketball Foundation-- are looking for $10 million, or less under the right circumstances (a bargain compared to the $20 million sought a few years back), according to Naismith’s grandson Ian, whose one-man mission to use the rules to spread sportsmanship throughout the world was at the center of the Basketball Man movie.

The Naismith biopic, produced by our pals at Frozen Pictures, contrasts Doc Naismith’s life with his grandson’s lonely mission, traveling the country in a rickety RV, carrying the very valuable rules in a golden attaché case. Its release on DVD last Spring followed great acclaim in magazines from Parade to FHM.

Basketball Man also traces the history of the Original 13 Rules, which, after Naismith's death in 1939, ended up in the possession of his youngest son-- Ian's father—who kept them in a “secret drawer” in the dining room. In the late 1950s, the rules were placed in a safe deposit box until they were loaned to the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, Mass., where they were kept in a vault until about a decade ago, when Ian Naismith took back the papers, and began his “Naismith Sportsmanship Tour,” displaying them at events in college and NBA cities.

“I like to think that he would approve of the money from his rules going to a foundation that helps children,” Ian Naismith said. “It's not my money. It's his money because it's his creation.”

Ian says he hopes a corporation comes forward with a deal, which would include sponsorship of a two-year nationwide tour to display the rules in a 40-foot motor coach. Ian hopes to collect signatures of basketball dignitaries and fans along the way. His ultimate goal is to give the Rules, which experts compare to the US Constitution, a permanent display at the Smithsonian Institution in Washington.

“It's not an easy decision, but it's time. They've been pretty much unseen for 110 years. There's no reason for them to be in a vault or anything like that for another 110 years.”

Basketball Man, available as a deluxe 2-DVD package, features appearances by some of the greatest names in the history of the sport including Michael Jordan, Steve Nash, Carmelo Anthony, Oscar Robertson, Bob Cousy, John Wooden, Rick Barry, NBA commissioner David Stern, and the late Red Auerbach.