Worst movie ever? Not so, says Dr. Ruehl!

If you ever tried to sit through Babel or Match Point, you know it's just plain lazy to say that Plan 9 from Outer Space is the worst movie ever made. But it takes a great mind and expert in not only sci fi but science and cinema to make the point without drama while dressing down the editors of a major newspaper's arts section for letting the middlebrow impression slide.

Dr. Franklin Ruehl, Ph.D., one of the most fascinating television personalities since the era in which Plan 9 was made, sets the record straight in his letter published today in the Calendar section of the Los Angeles Times. By his own count, the TV host/lecturer/nuclear physicist/tabloid columnist/Bigfoot hunter/USA network character/public access legend and prolific correspondent has had 26 letters published by the Times. His latest is sure to generate controversy among hoity-toity cinephiles:

SCENES wildly oscillating between night and day! Dollar store UFO models! A chiropractor with his face covered standing in for the recently deceased Bela Lugosi ["When Horror Meets Horrible, It's All Camp," March 11]! Despite these celebrated negative elements of Ed Wood's 1959 cult entry, "Plan 9 From Outer Space," I submit that this production was by no means the worst film of all time.

This film was entertaining from start to finish, with no slow moments, an excellent musical score, solid acting by all involved and a credible sci-fi plot involving aliens resurrecting Earth's dead to use as warriors against mankind (the "Plan 9" in the title). Moreover, the narration by TV psychic Criswell was truly engrossing.

While admittedly not the topmost sci-fi/horror film ever produced, it was certainly far from being the bottommost!

May the power of the cosmos be with you!

FRANKLIN RUEHL
Glendale

Dr. Ruehl is a regular on Tom Green's Internet show, which relaunches with new episodes on March 26th. Two episodes of Dr. Ruehl's groundbreaking, earth-shaking and Tv-quaking series, Mysteries from Beyond The Other Dominion are available On Demand from Tom Green's website. Click here for a great and informative ride!

And someone get this guy on mainstream television!

(Update: How does the LA Times edit a letter? Click into the Comments section to see Dr. Ruehl's original letter to the editor.)

Apprentice's Surya surveys Sanjaya-Idol-India link

Surya Yamanchili, in his final hours as the most-recently fired Apprentice candidate, is the latest to weigh in on the worldwide debate over our report on suspicions that Sanjaya Malakar's stay on American Idol is being extended by bloc voting in India--specifically from workers and technology in outsourced call centers in cities like New Delhi.

Surya, like Sanjaya, is a hero to the Desi community because of his prominence on an American reality TV series (Indian-American couple Vipul and Arti Patel didn't make it past the first episode of last season's Amazing Race). He doesn't buy the theory.

"What the hell?" he writes us. "This seems pretty idiotic to me. There are no facts supporting it all-- just total speculation. Why don't they just speculate that Martians are voting for him because Martians consider themselves Asian?"

Hard-core rap fan Surya (who, like Sanjaya, was born in the USA) admits, "I haven't followed Idol. I think the fact that you can 'manufacture' a pop music star on national TV is proof what shit most pop music is today! Although I think if I watched the show, I'd probably like it!"

The story was based on a wave of Internet chatter on Indian and Desi blog and news sites. Since it's been picked up around the world, new suspicions and theories have emerged.

But the potential scandal has picked up even more traction and debate in the UK, where anti-Asian bias is more of a problem, and became a national scandal amid charges of racism on their Celebrity Big Brother.

All that was reflected in the comments when the story was posted on the widely-read, London-based Anorak site:

"He clearly is not talented enough to be in the finals... Clearly the Indians are pushing him through with the votes..."

"First off, your bunch of morons, India's time zone is different that when the show goes on, and the tech workers don't have tv's in the building. Why don't you all admit it, the kids got talent, your just pissed because the phones in your trailers didn't work when sundance was singing..."

"I am fairly certain the cheap labor at the Indian call centers probably don't have spare time to be spending company resources to vote on some kid across the ocean..."

"Believe it or not, Ms. Barba and Sanjaya have made this show so much more popular, for whatever reasons..."

"Huh? Who said anything about Indian call center workers-- and a different time zone? You only have to look in your own backyard... We initially brought them over as cheap labor for technical positions in US companies and since them they have been pouring in through H1B visas..."

"I believe Sanjaya is getting all his votes from the Indians..."

"Why can't the votes be limited to one per phone number? Wouldn't that be more valid? My own 13 year old stayed up and voted 100+ times for Blake. It's not just an ethnic thing. The little girls think he's cute."


(Confidential to Playboy's Miss May, Alison Waite: Our pal Surya wants to get in touch. Click here for his MySpace page.)

TMZ's Lohan report attacked as "bulls---"

The website TMZ is running a story this afternoon, claiming “that Lindsay Lohan was so deeply concerned that her felon father (recently released from prison) would crash a party she was deejaying last night, that she had the club go to serious lengths to prevent him from showing up.”

Whether that side of the story is true or not, Michael Lohan’s camp says there was no reason to fear-- and claims the story's been trumped up to make him "look bad."

“That’s-- how can I say this nicely? That's bullshit,” said Brett Hudson, producer of the new Michael Lohan reality television series. “I was on the phone to Michael twice last night. He had no intention of showing up at any nightclub. That’s not the way he wants to reunite with his daughter. My God, the man just got out of prison. Give him a break!”

Michael Lohan was released from the Collins State Correctional Facility on Tuesday. While inside, he attended Bible college and became an Assemblies of God minister. He’s said he now wants to make amends, help others avoid this mistakes-- and reunite with his family.

Regarding Lindsay, he was quoted the night of his release saying: "I'm going to wait, and when she sees I'm walking the walk, I'm hopeful she'll open the door."

“I think Lindsay’s actions this week speak louder than bad tabloid reporting,” Hudson said, referring to her documented all-night antics in New York City, including a reckless chase in which she allegedly struck a paparazzo with her SUV. “There’s a lot of self-created drama around her. And what’s that girl doing in nightclubs to begin with? She just got out of rehab!

“I know where Lindsay’s father is," he said. “Where’s her mother?

Hudson is the uncle of actress Kate Hudson and has been on both sides of the tabloid fence, as a subject in his days with the Hudson Brothers, and as an award-winning producer in the 2005 revival of A Current Affair. “Before he went to prison, Michael had claimed he was the victim of the Hollywood machine," he told us this afternoon. “With this kind of story, I can see his point.”

Happy birthday, Jerry Lewis!

They Commit Suicide in Threes, too

March 7: Bill Chinnock, founding member of the E Street Band
March 9: Brad Delp, singer in the band Boston
March 10: Richard Jeni, comedian (no guitar?)

Exclusive! Will India make Sanjaya America's Idol?

Are outsourced tech support workers in India using their speed-dialing phone resources and technical expertise to keep Sanjaya Malakar on American Idol? That's the chatter we're picking up on blogsites catering to the Desi community ("Desi" in this case referring to people of South Asian descent spread throughout the English-speaking world-- see MTV Desi).

Leading Desi blogsite Uber Desi addresses concerns that "support for Sanjaya equals racism" because of the claim that most of those voting for Sanjaya (a "half-Desi") are of Indian descent or in India:

"MeraGussaII on O3 alleges that the voting for Sanjaya has racial overtones. The blogger alleges that most of the votes Sanjaya is receiving is from Indians or people of desi origin. I say Sanjaya is this year's version of Chicken Little... unless tech support people from call centers in India are dialing in to American Idol on their clock, the majority audience and voters for American Idol is the teenybopper crowd."

It's an open secret in the television industry that American and UK series featuring phone-in voting by viewers rely on phone centers in India to take calls-- and occasionally, pump up the numbers.

Idol is seen in India on Star World TV, and the Indian and South Asian media have followed the Sanjaya saga closely and prominently-- ever since Sanjaya and his sister Shyamali auditioned.

And it's a shame that big sister Shyamali didn't make it to the finals.

It looks like she might have given Antonella Barba a run for her money.

For as you can see from the photo at left, the wide-eyed, innocent-looking beauty was a Hooters waitress in Tacoma!

Lohan Dad released; Lohan daughter questioned

As we'd tipped you off in a world exclusive, Lindsay Lohan's father Michael Lohan was released from prison this morning and headed home to a new chance at a fresh start at making things right in his life.

Is that news?

Well, mainstream news outlets as far-ranging as the CHINA DAILY reported it today, quoting producer Brett Hudson, who's been filming a Lohan reality project for the past two and a half years, saying, "Michael Lohan is a changed man."

We hate to use the word "ironic," but "ironic," isn't it, that hours before he was released, Lindsay, who's been in and out of rehab, was leaving a New York City nightclub called Club Butter, when for some reason, she drove her own car away, with a bottle of clear liquid in one hand-- with paparazzi and (TMZ-style amateur) stalkerazzi in pursuit. After a Diana-like chase, Lindsay allegedly struck a shutterbug with her car. Only after police intervened did Lindsay get into her bodyguard's SUV.

The TV show Access Hollywood bought the paparazzi video for money and got the "scoop"around the world. Dangerous stuff, folks.

We, for one, can't wait for the Michael Lohan reality show.

Go through the archives. See whose prophecies have rung true...

Basketball Man is here

Basketball Man is finally hitting the streets.

The nonfiction film about the life and legacy of the game’s inventor is being released today in a deluxe two-disc DVD set, and launched at a star-studded party in Kansas City.

Should you be in the downtown area, know that the b-ball bash tips off at 5 pm at The Kansas City Star Press Pavilion. The event is open to the public-- and it's free.

Basketball Man was produced by our pals at Frozen Pictures. It's already been hailed as "epic"... "superb"... and a "slam dunk."

The DVD set will be rolled out in select markets before its national release on May 8th.

(PRE-ORDER THE 2-DISC BASKETBALL MAN SET HERE!)

"Jew're Out!" Our Man Elli on Israeli Baseball

Elli Wohlgelernter, Tabloid Baby's Man in Israel, is a reporter for IBA TV in Jerusalem. He's also the center of the documentary project, Sex & Baseball. Today he writes on the Israel 21C website about... baseball. Oh well.

Sliding Home

It's a long season, and you gotta trust it. I've tried them all,
I really have. And the only shul that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out,
is the shul of baseball.
- with apologies to Annie Savoy

"What do you miss most?"

That's the question immigrants to Israel get asked more than any other. Sometimes it elicits serious answers, sometimes personal ones. Of course everyone misses their family and friends left behind, that's a given. And sometimes what we miss most is a simple food we crave, or some product that is impossible to find in Israel, but which would make our daily lives easier.

Me, I always give the same answer.

Baseball.

Sure, I miss my family and friends, and pizza here is never going to be as good as it is in New York. And though I may not see my family and friends as much as I'd like, phone calls and emails keep us well connected.

But baseball is different. Baseball, for serious fans, takes on a relationship more akin to that of a husband and wife. Spouses communicate every day, even from a distance, even if only for a few minutes. The definition of that relationship - a relationship based on passion - demands no less.

So too in baseball. Baseball, like marriage, is nothing without intimacy. Sure, I can read what my favorite Yankees did over the last two weeks, how many games they won or lost, and see highlights on the Internet. But that is just passive knowledge and information, crucial though it is, and videos only highlight how far away I am. It never satisfies the emotional need, never quenches the thirst of passion. For that you need a constant, daily narrative that you can see, hear and smell.

Now we'll have it.

On June 24, the first-ever professional baseball game in Israel will be played at Kibbutz Gezer, between the Petah Tikva Pioneers and the Modi'in Miracle. The six-team league also includes the Bet Shemesh Blue Sox, Netanya Tigers, Ra'anana Express and Tel Aviv Lightning. Each club will play 45 regular-season games, a schedule comparable to that of the low minor leagues.

The games will be played at three sites: Tel Aviv and Netanya teams will play at Sportek in Tel Aviv. Ra'anana and Petah Tikvah will share a field at the Yarkon Sports Complex, while Kibbutz Gezer will host the Modi'in and Bet Shemesh teams.

Eighty players have already been signed, from eight countries including the Dominican Republic, Australia, Venezuela, and the United States. A trio of retired Jewish major leaguers will manage three of the teams - former pitcher Ken Holtzman, outfielder Art Shamsky and baseball's first designated hitter, Ron Blomberg. The league's first commissioner is Daniel Kurtzer, a former US ambassador to Israel, and Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig is on the board of advisors.

Even with that pedigree the detractors are already lining up to scoff, confident in their criticism that declares the venture - the brainstorm of one Larry Baras, Boston businessman and visionary extraordinaire - this century's version of Fulton's Folly. How can it succeed, they laugh, in a country already saturated with soccer and basketball? Who's gonna care enough to come to a game, besides a few dozen Anglos? And how can a home run compete with the excitement of a goal or a basket for an Israeli?

For those who follow baseball, who understand baseball, such doubters are to be pitied. While it is easy to understand their lack of faith in a Baras, or a Dan Duquette - the man in charge of player development - it is difficult to fathom their lack of faith in the very game itself.

That baseball was never, heretofore, an integral part of the fabric of Israeli culture is hardly a reflection on the sport itself. Baseball will succeed here, first and foremost, because it's the greatest game in the world. But it will also succeed because Israelis, like Americans, are great sports fans, as passionate about athletics as they are about everything that has meaning in their lives. In due time, Israelis too will come to understand the game, the rich nuances and subtleties that make it so interesting to millions of Americans.

Yes, of course building baseball in Israel is a long-term project. Duquette understands that better than anyone. Having once been in charge of player development for the Montreal Expos, Duquette took on a similar challenge going up against Canada's national religion, hockey. And from the ground up, he built an infrastructure and a system that was able to discover, recruit, and further develop Canadian baseball players.

It took a while, but then it happened: On March 8, 2006, Team Canada beat the powerhouse Team USA, 8-6, in the World Baseball Classic. Canadian baseball was on the map. To say that Israelis are less athletically inclined, incapable of playing and eventually competing on that level, is an insult, and simply foolish. A dozen Israelis have already been signed to the league, a number that is sure to grow as the country is more exposed to the sport.

One other thing: Everyone understands that ballplayers on the major league level are supremely talented, and a joy to watch. True enough. But for those who think minor league baseball is not that good, not the real thing, know this: those players underneath the Major Leagues at the AAA, AA, and A level are no less talented then the big boys. There is, in fact, only one difference between those in Single-A and those in the Major Leagues: consistency.

I spent the summer of 1983 covering minor league baseball, the Utica Blue Sox, in the New York-Penn League. They weren't just a single-A team, they were an independent team, which meant that no other ballclub had wanted any of the players. Castoffs, you say? Let me tell you, they weren't just good, they were great. I saw guys make plays that today would be on SportsCenter every night. The raw talent was breathtaking.

And now that's coming here. Baseball in Israel. I will get to see professional players up close, watch them show off that incredible talent, and follow their stories for 10 weeks, right here in my backyard. I'll still follow the Yankees, of course, but now I can follow a local team as well - the Blue Sox again, this time in Bet Shemesh. And my immigration will have become complete.

Elli's brief bio on Israel 21C site says that "he saw his first Major League baseball game in 1962 in Yankee Stadium." Elli is also sports editor of the Encyclopaedia Judaica, now out in a second edition, and his 175 entries include Shawn Green and Sandy Koufax.

Exclusive! Michael Lohan is getting out of prison

Michael Lohan,
father of superstar actress
Lindsay Lohan,
is set to walk out of prison
at 9 a.m.
on Tuesday, March 13th--
and into the reality TV show
he’d left behind
more than two years ago.

The controversial Lohan, who’s scheduled to be released after two years in the Collins Correctional Center near Buffalo, N.Y., will be feted at a "welcome home" party at his mother's home in Long Island. But the former stockbroker, producer and actor is definitely not the same man who was hauled away amid restraining orders and probation violations. Once known as the "Hollywood Dad from Hell," he's now an ordained minister, ready to spread the word and “make amends for his past mistakes."

“Michael Lohan is a changed man,” says the show's producer Brett Hudson, who along with Lohan’s mother has been the only one to keep in regular contact with Lohan in stir. “I've spoken to him often and I know it. The last time around, Michael would never admit he’d done anything wrong. Now, he not only admits his past mistakes, but he wants to right the wrongs he’s done. And most of all, he wants to get his family back on track."

It was two years ago that Hudson and the team at Frozen Pictures were filming a reality TV series pilot around Lohan called “Hollywood Dad.” At the time, Lohan was best known for his hunger for the spotlight, his altercations (with in-laws and a sanitation worker), passing out at Scores nightclub and his intensifying battles with his estranged wife (and Lindsay’s manager), Dina. After surviving a fiery DUI car crash on Long Island, he was sentenced to prison.

While checked into the Gray Bar Hotel, Lohan was ordained as a minister. “He’s serious about it,” says Hudson. “He’s actually going straight into the ministry when he gets out-- the Teen Challenge ministry to help runaways and kids on drugs— trying to straighten out their lives.

“But he’s still Michael in more than one way. He’s still very creative. You can see where Lindsay got her drive and her talent. He has a few reality shows he wants to pitch-- including one in which he and Lindsay are put on a desert island with Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson and their dads. We’ll be going along when he does that. We’ll be with him when he tries to ‘save’ some of his old Hollywood pals.

“And he’s got other ideas, like going out on Sunset Boulevard and giving a prostitute a hundred dollar bill-- not for sex, but for her time so he can talk to her and try to save her. He wants to make things right with the world. And especially with his family."

In January, Lohan wrote his daughter a letter, asking forgiveness and a reconcilitation. Life & Style magazine reported last month that Lindsay is in favor of it.

"It’s a fascinating look at the price of fame— and what it does to a family,” says Burt Kearns, Hudson’s producing partner. “Two years ago, Michael was Bonaduce, Sizemore, the Diceman and Bobby Brown rolled into one. But his heart was always in the right place. God knows what he'll be like now that he's got religion. This was a great project in 2004 and it’s even better now. Because Michael’s better now.”

Couric's new producer owes his job to Lewis Bailey

Rick Kaplan is the new captain of Katie Couric’s sinking evening news ship at CBS. His latest high-profile gig comes after a long career that could have seen an early end if not for legendary news cameraman Lewis Bailey of Bailey Mountain, Georgia.

“I saved Kaplan's ass early in his career,” says Lewis, who runs the incomparable Sharpshooter Worldwide, provider of professional video crews. It was 1977, in the early days of the Carter presidency:

“There was a large contingent of news folks in Plains, Georgia. The railroad depot had been headquarters for Jimmy Carter’s campaign, and Carter has just been elected, so the place was crazy. Billy Carter and Tom T. Hall were hanging out drinking at the Best Western in Americus-- the “Old Dogs and Children and Watermelon Wine” Tom T. Hall.

“We—CBS-- were The Big Dog on the porch. CBS had all the stuff in place and had been kicking shit out of the other news agencies because of the technology in place. We had a microwave antenna installed on the water tower in Plains, Georgia that went to MCI coax all the way to CBS headquarters in New York. In those days being live from Plains, Georgia was a big deal and the cost was great. The other networks were not live, but in those days CBS really was a working news organization and we had all the toys.

“Rick was producing the live shots from the CBS mobile production truck. It sat under the water tower. The water tower and fence are still there as of last week, when I was down there for the tornado recovery. Rick had ‘good nighted’ the crew for the production truck. They all went back to Americus to the Best Western motel.

"Rick and Murray-- Martin Murray or Murray Martin-- I forget, but he was the technical management guy, hadn’t left for the motel when Carter’s handlers came out and said he had something to announce. I don’t remember what the exact announcement was. But Kaplan was in charge of the operation and Murray was screaming at him that Kaplan should have not good nighted the crew and that it was Kaplan's ass on the line!

“Murray was the technical manager, but he didn’t even know how to turn the power on in the truck. So these two guys were shit up a creek without me. I was the only one who knew how to make the truck hot-- I was the only technician around and I knew how to make the truck work.

"I fired up the terrestrial microwave and set all the levels and TD'ed the live hit. We made the live hit! Rick was the hero.”

(Lewis also recalls working with Rome Hartman, the man Kaplan replaced at the CBS Evening News, when Hartman was stationed at CBS News' Atlanta bureau office "at Century Center next to I-85 Clairmont Road exit" in the 1980s. That's not Hartman pictured with Lewis at left.)

Farewell, Antonella, The Million Dollar Babe

Good timing for American Idol last night, sending Antonella Barba packing just as the show kicks into its Bono-inspired save-the-world mode with the "Idol Gives Back" charity event for kids in Africa and (probably because the British producers assume that the majority of the Idol audience are selfish Yanks who don't care about Africa) here in the States.

But don't cry for Antonella. She might be heading home to Jersey without a recording contract, but if she plays her cards right, she's easily walking away as a Million Dollar Babe. Already on the table are a $250,000 offer to host Girls Gone Wild DVDs, a $500,000 to be spokesgal for the SugarDVD online adult video store, and Hugh Hefner's suggestion that she'd be an obvious subject for a Playboy spread.

Then there are probable offers from the tabloids, Maxim, Kohler bathroom fixtures, Charmin, Swifter, Catholic University, The North Carolina University Tar Heels, the VFW, MacAweenie & Cheese, and Entertainment Tonight or one of the network newsmagazines that'll pay her under the table for an exclusive interview.

Which way will she go? Because Antonella wasn't allowed to be interviewed while an Idol contestant, everyone was able to project their own version of the 20 year-old through the sultry photos and smartass demeanor on Idol. Our bet's on Playboy, for starters.

UPDATE: Antonella appeared on Fox's Morning Show this morning and was pretty nonchalant about the photo scandal, saying, "Personal private property got into the hands of the wrong people." She didn't reveal her future plans and the hosts didn't ask any heavy questions, but Antonella did say she's open to singing-- and acting-- jobs. She also offered a warning to girls everywhere: "Cover your tracks!"

(And just for old times' sake, click here to see the NSFW photos that almost made Antonella bigger than Idol.)

'Idol' finally addresses its Antonella issue

"I feel for you, cause you've taken a lot of stick in the media. I think you've handled yourself well throughout, and I don't think anyone should be put in that situation. But I'm not going to patronize you here..."

As the situation mushrooms from a naughty half-naked photo scandal to charges of discrimination, racism, favoritism, unpatriotism and porn-peddling immorality behind the scenes of America's top television show, the Antonella Barba scandal finally got a mention on American Idol last night. Simon Cowell stepped gingerly around the controversy while doing his best to subliminally order viewers to vote the poor thing out before things get even farther out of hand. His comments to Antonella after she managed to mangle a Corinne Bailey Rae easy-listening Starbucks staple constituted a gracious kiss-off to the worst remaining female singer.

Antonella, true to form, didn't get it.

Said Simon: "You've gone as far as you can go, Antonella. I mean, the reality is, and I think you know this yourself, which is, you are surrounded by some pretty amazing girl singers. And I don't know how much more you can do, to be honest with you, because I don't think your voice is going to get any better.

"I feel for you, cause you've taken a lot of stick in the media. I think you've handled yourself well throughout, and I don't think anyone should be put in that situation. But I'm not going to patronize you here. It wasn't your worst, we've heard you sound worse, but I just have a problem here, which is I just wish you could sing better."

As she did last week, Antonella responded to the criticism by challenging it. She said, in part:

"I know I'm surrounded by really talented people and I think that I'm just, I have a different style than them and I'm not trying to compare myself to anyone else and I with the judges wouldn't compare me to anyone else because I try to be myself... We're all different, we're all unique."

Two gals and two guys will be eliminated tonight at 8. Our money is on Antonella hanging in. And if she does, don't be surprised if "someone" leaks more-explicit photos that they've been holding back, so Idol producers have no choice but to ask her to leave the competition.

Don't know what all the fuss is about? See the NSFW Antonella Barba photos... and the really NSFW fakes... here.

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss

We figured Katie Couric’s disingenuous comments about not caring about ratings at the CBS Evening News were an encrypted challenge or at least a cry for help. We also were certain there’d be fallout and today there is, with word that her executive producer will be replaced by a network good ole boy who’ll help CBS follow the blowing winds and punch the show back into the old-fashioned mode that everyone will be comfortable with.

We told you a month before Couric’s debut that executive producer Rome Hartman wasn’t up for the job. He was a CBS lifer, promoted from within, a step removed from America, and coming up with lame "innovations" like outsider commentaries and touchy-feely segments at a time Les Moonves was supposedly dropping a neutron bomb in the corrupt old CBS News operation:

TV news execs may gut a division and dump a show, but when it comes to getting the replacement on the air, they fall back on the comfort factor and rely on the same producers who worked on and created the shows of the past. New executive producer Rome Hartman, we’re sure, is a very nice fellow. But he’s been with CBS News since 1983! He’s a CBS lifer. He’s indoctrinated in the CBS way of life (see the Prologue to Tabloid Baby) and hasn’t experienced the world or newsgathering outside the privileged rarified CBS fishbowl. Hint: New blood. New ideas…

Rick Kaplan is no saviour. He's status quo. He was EP of Peter Jennings’ news show back in the 90s before he made messes at CNN and MSNBC: a big, tall, loud dickswinger who’ll make some rude noises in the hushed halls of CBS, someone who won’t be awed or bullied by Couric and who’ll make the show look a lot more like the ones on ABC and NBC that are kicking CBS’s ass-- and isn't it funny that it's old Charlie Gibson's tired old show on ABC that everyone's chasing). Maybe he’ll even send Katie to Iraq.

It doesn't matter. It’s all temporary, just another stop on Katie’s journey to afternoon talk.

Going... going... GONE?

'Girls Gone Wild' wants Idol's Antonella

American Idol bad girl Antonella Barba has something to fall back on if she's ever voted off the show.

Sleazy Joe Francis and his Girls Gone Wild company are offering her a job as celebrity host in their video series. And they're putting $250,000 on the table.

The Girls Gone Wild DVDs feature college girls, strippers and other inebriated types peeling off their clothes and engaging in mild girl-on-girl action for the cameras--not unlike the photos of Antonella that hit the Internet and made her a star.

Francis and his crowd paint Antonella as part of a grand American tradition of "girls behaving badly" that includes Miss USA's former Miss Nevada, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Condoleeza Rice.

"There's a little Girls Gone Wild in every woman and this should be embraced as a positive, not a negative," Francis says in a press release today. "Why are people being ridiculed and punished for being sexual? It's ridiculous. Antonella Barba is an unbelievably sexy girl who obviously knows how to have a good time."

Hey, it's a quarter million dollars. Hugh Hefner didn't put up any money when he suggested last week that Antonella might appear in Playboy. And when Rosie O'Donnell waded into the controversy yesterday, she didn't offer Antonella a Disney cruise.

Antonella is set to sing on Idol tonight. Last night's show featured the male contestants revealing something we didn't know about them. We wonder what she's still got to hide.

Catch up on the Antonella scandal photos-- and they're NSFW-- here.

Famous last words

"I've never really
obsessed over
ratings.
I want to turn out
a quality newscast."

--Katie Couric
of the
CBS
Evening News

Protesters cry racism in Idol's Antonella scandal

Just when American Idol's Antonella Barba scandal quiets down a bit, a Ghost of Topless Photos past pops up to accuse the show of All-American hypocrisy.

Frenchie Davis was a plus-sized African-American singer who got the boot in the 2003 season because she'd once been paid to pose topless for a website. She's suggested, and this morning protesters are declaring, that Antonella is being allowed to stay on the show because she's a white girl!

LA civil rights activist Najee Ali of Project Islamic H.O.P.E. is supposed to be leading a "Anti-American Idol Rally" outside the Kodak Theatre (site of the show's finale) right now.

"It's obvious that it's a racial bias... when you have a situation where a black contestant is punished and a similar situation happens to a white contestant and there is no punishment and they're allowed to continue on the show," he says. "They can't have a rule for white contestants and have a different rule for black contestants."

Frenchie adds: "I couldn't help but notice the manner in which she was dealt with was the complete opposite of how I was dealt with... I'm certainly not interested in pissing people off, but this is an unfairness that can't be ignored."

Now, as far as the official story goes, Antonella never posed professionally and was blindsided by the posting of her amateur shots and college girl-on-girl explorations.

She gained valuable sympathy from producers and the public when everyone agreed that she was not, as alleged, the woman in sex act photos (that is until someone comes up with the OJ-Bruno Magli shots showing Antonella wearing acrylic-- NSFW-- nails).

And it didn't hurt that Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Ryan Seacrest all confirmed support for Antonella while they were lounging with Hugh Hefner at the Playboy Mansion.

The only blip in the Antonella story this week has been the leaking of a few more shots (NSFW) of her stripping session on the National World War II Memorial, and some more squeaks about her siding with Hitler by desecrating the shrine. No kidding.

We'll keep you up to date on the rally...

Frenchie, by the way, is now on Broadway in Rent.

See the latest NSFW shots here.

Tony Ortega is the new editor of The Village Voice

The editor of the Village Voice got fired on Friday and the owners didn’t waste much time plucking the most fearless, muckrakingest maverick newspaper editor in America to replace him. Tabloid Baby's pal Tony Ortega at the Voice-affiliated New Times Broward-Palm Beach got the call to head north and takes over a week after they banned the last guy from the building.

We first followed Tony’s work years ago when he was a reporter for the New Times LA and most recently have linked to and pointed out a number of Tony’s stories from the humid fertile tabloid territory of South Florida-- including the first expose of the man between the arrest of supposed JonBenet killer John Mark Karr, and the one about the multimillionaire who married his daughter.

That leaves hard-boiled, literary Bob Norman, the best investigative reporter in South Florida and a few other places, holding down the fort.

Tony will have his work cut out for him at The Voice, which has a literary and reporting tradition most people don’t even remember (is Mark Jacobsen still around?). It was a long, long time ago that Tabloid Baby's author moved to New York City expecting a job at the Voice, but wound up in TV news (showing that the Voice launched writers in more than one way), and even then it was riding on memories of the past. He's already getting a skeptical reception, being an LA native with no New York experience and the fifth Voice editor in year, so he may as well have fun with it. Once he gets settled, we’ll have to introduce him to Dunleavy.

And check out Bob Norman’s great newssite, The Daily Pulp and his killer book, Florida Pulp Nonfiction.

Read Bob Norman on Tony Ortega here.

"I'm the Osbourne with HIV!"

Jack Osbourne is not HIV-positive. The son of Ozzy and Sharon and reality TV star in his own right has been the target of speculation the past few weeks, ever since his sister Kelly broke down onstage at an AIDS benefit and blubbered that a "member of my family" is HIV positive-- "and I'm very proud of him."

It turns out that recovering drug abuser Jack was not the Osbourne Kelly had outed. The family member is not even a member of the TV family-- and not even an official "Osbourne," but, as we'd suggested, her cousin. Terry Longden is a 43-year-oldhairdresser and star of the UK reality show, The Salon. He'd attended the benefit with Kelly, and was standing offstage when she made the announcement in London. And he says he knew in advance that she'd make the disclosure.

"I told her to say whatever she wanted because it might help someone in a similar situation, but I didn't expect her to cry. I felt quite guilty. She gave me a big hug when she came off," Longden tells Inside Out Australia.

He says he found out he was ill after being tested six years ago, a case of "unfortunate" timing, as Ozzy's wife Sharon had just been diagnosed with colon cancer.

"I (eventually) spoke to Sharon and she was fantastic. She totally understood and gave her support. Five minutes later Ozzy rang and he was great, which was a relief. Then Aimee (the Osbournes' eldest daughter) called. She was a bit worried, but very supportive. Then I had dinner with Jack and Kelly the other day to tell them face to face. They were amazing. I couldn't have a better family."

So what took him so long to step forward after Kelly's remarks turned into a mystery?

Exclusive! A woman takes over NBC Nightly News

While Brian Williams is away in Baghdad, trying to drum up ratings with stunt reporting, NBC News is about to announce the replacement for his Nightly News executive producer, who got the axe last week amid a ratings slide:

MEMO from Steve Capus
President, NBC News
Subject: Nighty News Executive Producer

NBC News, today, begins a new era with an outstanding announcement. Alex Wallace has been named executive producer of the NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams. As you know, Alex has been my primary deputy in the front office, serving as a vice president responsible for news coverage, Nightly News, Specials and much more. Alex will continue to serve as a vice president while handling the executive producer's responsibilities. I'm thrilled for Alex, Nightly News, NBC Universal, and frankly, for women in our industry. This is a proud day across the board.

Enclosed is the press release we are about to send out, but I wanted to be sure you saw it first.

Alexandra Wallace has been named executive producer of "NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams," it was announced today by NBC News President Steve Capus. Her appointment makes Wallace the first woman to lead a weeknight network evening newscast in a decade, and she becomes one of a small group of women to serve in the top post of a Big Three daily newscast. Wallace, whose appointment is effective immediately, will also continue to serve as NBC News Vice President. NBC News veteran producer Bob Epstein will continue to serve as senior broadcast producer for "Nightly News."

In making the announcement Capus said, "Alex has been an invaluable contributor to 'Nightly' and to the division as a whole since the day she arrived at NBC News. Giving her direct day-to-day responsibility ofour flagship broadcast makes sense in every way, and I know she will be a key part of our continued success."

Wallace replaces John Reiss, who has served as "Nightly News" executive producer since June 2005. Capus continued, "I want to thank John for his tremendous work at keeping 'Nightly' incredibly strong throughout his tenure - not only winning the ratings race every quarter since his arrival, but also for being instrumental in leading the program to win every major journalism award last year - an unprecedented achievement."

Wallace was first named Vice President of NBC News in January 2006. In that capacity she has had oversight for a number of areas in the News Division, including NBC Special Reports, newsgathering and executive oversight of "NBC Nightly News."

Brian Williams, anchor and managing editor said, "Alex is a pro, and a there is no one better qualified to lead this broadcast. She is the right person in the right job at the right time, and we're lucky to have her."

"I am honored to have been asked to take on this new role," said Wallace. "'Nightly News' has the best team of journalists in the business and I cannot wait to get started."

Prior to being named Vice President, NBC News, Wallace served as executive producer "Weekend Today" and senior producer of "Today" beginning in March 2005. Under her direction, "Weekend Today" provided extensive coverage of major news events including Hurricane Katrina and the death of Pope John Paul II. During her time as executive producer, "Weekend Today" ratings remained dominant and "Saturday Today" was number one across the board.

Wallace came to NBC News from CBS News where she was a senior broadcast producer for CBS' "The Early Show" starting in May 2000. Before that, she was a senior producer for both "The Early Show" and "CBS This Morning." From 1996 to 1998, Wallace was producer for the "CBS Evening News with Dan Rather." From 1990 to 1996, Wallace served as an associate producer for "CBS This Morning," "48 Hours" and the CBS foreign desk. She began her network career at the CBS News London bureau.

She has been honored with six News and Documentary Emmy awards.

Wallace graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in English Literature from Columbia University and lives in New York City with her husband and two children.