Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Free advice for CBS News: Forget Katie

Here’s some free advice for Sean McManus and Les Moonves and CBS News.

Save the $20 million a year.

Katie Couric’s not worth it.

She’s a former cutie who’s been temporarily retooled into a glamour puss.

She’s pushing fifty.

She’s not going to age well, physically or emotionally.

And people don’t like to work with her.

Katie’s a morning show host. Reading the TelePrompter and gravitas ain’t her shtick. Give her a talk show and move on.

Besides, it’s a new century. The network news half hour is over. It doesn’t matter!

ABC admitted it when they settled on Elizabeth Vargas and “Bob” Woodruff to replace Jennings.

NBC has Brian Williams. Now there’s a guy who connects with that young demographic.

So CBS, here it is:

Think Charlie’s Angels.

Think Steve Edwards.

Keep old Bob Schieffer in the “anchor” chair. He’s like Steve. Glad to be anywhere. And fire all your reporters except the sexy news chicks, all those hot gals who camp it up in CBS drag; the only reason guys watch CBS News in the first place.

Make Schieffer the only male on the show. Surround him with the CBS Maxim girls. They’re already on the payroll. Lara Logan. Serena Altschul. Thalia Assuras. Susan McGinnis. Trish Reagan.

Let Bob play the exasperated male, putting up with all the young birds.

It’s like Harry Smith on that CBS Morning Show, the one nobody watches, only with testosterone and hot chicks in places like Iraq.

It’s almost as good as Moonves’ idea to clone Naked News.

Mark my words.

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