Friday, January 27, 2006

Pros to Oprah: "Tabloid Baby memoir 100% true!"

“Yes, Oprah. Every character in my book was based on a real person. Yes, there was a real Lilly. Of course I changed distinguishing characteristics and the way she died. I didn’t want her exploited by websites like The Smoking Gun. I didn’t want police crime scene photos showing up on the Internet. Of course I had two root canals without Novacaine or anaesthesia. That’s something I’d never forget. Prove otherwise! The prison bit? It was metaphorical! I’m an author! What is your problem, lady? This is my life! This is my memoir. Leonard, Lilly, everyone is real! Of course I took a little dramatic license. It’s a book, not a journal! I stand by my book! Apologize? I apologize for nothing!”

It was that easy. Why didn’t James Frey say something like that? Why didn’t he stand up for his book? Why did he take the Pat O'Brien spanking? He had weeks to prepare a defense. What is it with this guy? It makes you wonder what kind of fix was in.

Then again, it opens the door to the grassroots campaign to, as one Tabloid Baby reader posts, “wipe the stain of James Frey from Oprah's couch.” You can nominate Tabloid Baby as an Oprah’s Book Club selection!

There is no embellishment in Tabloid Baby. Every word is guaranteed 100% for real. The story is true!

Just ask some of the media heavyweights who’ll testify to its, well, truthiness:

Mike Wallace of ‘60 Minutes’: “Sad, funny, undeniably authentic!”

Maury Povich: “Burt was there for the birthing of tabloid, he became the heart of the genre, and now he’s written the Bible!”

J Max Robins of Broadcasting & Cable magazine: “I can corroborate how accurately he captures the era!”

The Australian newspaper of Sydney, Australia: ”Kearns tells it all in a vivid, brutally honest account that is riveting!”

Today’s Librarian magazine:” “A master at taking the reader behind the scenes, Kearns relates the down and dirty to us—all first hand!”

Steve Dunleavy of The New York Post: “I normally would have sued the son-of-a-gun for what he wrote about me, but I can't -- it's all doggone true!”

The Straits Times of Singapore: “Pop culture history of the best sort!”

The LA Weekly: “He describes, in vomit-in-the-office-trash-can detail!”

Chaunce Hayden: “I swear to God, Tabloid Baby is the real deal. No one has the balls to write what he wrote, knowing the consequences!”

John Austin of the Hollywood Inside Syndicate: “Tabloid Baby could even be considered The Front Page of the millennium, the Boogie Nights of journalism!”

Cable TV legend Dr. Franklin Ruehl: “Earns my highest commendation!”

Emmy Award-winning documentary filmmaker Eames Yates: “Tabloid Baby tells a truth that I have demanded from myself and others!”

More to come! meanwhile, email Oprah here. Remind her of the importance of the truth.

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