Dr. Ruehl's Realm of Bizarre News, Video #5

The Realm Of Bizarre News, Episode V

Idol pulls a fast one: Tattooed 'Carly Smithson' is actually failed professional pop star Carly Hennessy

American Idol saved the biggest lie for last in last night's San Diego audition show. The young woman who showed up "from Arizona" with the sleeve tattoo and boyfriend with the face tattoos, was identified as "Carly Smithson," a poor girl who missed her chance in Season 5 because her Irish visa didn't come through (translation: she's not even "American"-- betrayed byher strained attempts to hide her brogue). Well, Carly Smithson is actually Carly Hennessy, the "ringer" we've been hearing about for the past week-- the contestant that Idol producer Nigel Lithgoe predicted would win.

He should know. Carly Hennessy-Smithson (seen above) is no amateur. In fact, she's the gal who'd signed a multi-million dollar, six-album contract with MCA Records (Vivendi Universal) in 2000. She reportedly got a $100,000 advance and living expenses for two years while MCA spent $2.2 million on recording and promoting her album Ultimate High, that flopped.

Coincidentally, one of the songs on the debut album from the first American Idol, Kelly Clarkson, just happened to have been featured on Ultimate High.

Carly's one of several singers on this season's Idol who've had bigtime contracts and chances in the past, and her story has been well publicized this past week, so it's strange that Idol producers would be so blatantly deceptive. and the stealth activity is far more serious than last year's shenanigans with Jordin Sparks, who was delivered to the auditions by sponsor Coca Cola. It seems that as the show's charm fades and talent pool gets more generic and annoying, the producers are pulling strings and deceiving viewers in order to re-create a proven commodity and make some money on the musical end.

!!EXCLUSIVE UPDATE!! How Carly can win!!
(or at least get our vote!!)
!!CLICK HERE!!

!!NEW UPDATE HERE!!

Scab: 'Blue collar' Adam Carolla to cross WGA picket lines to pimp his awful radio show on Leno

If you haven't caught his radio show, here's a good enough reason to dislike Adam Carolla, the freeform monotonal "comedian" who's in his third year of attempting to create a listenable, if not successful, radio show in slots once occupied by the late Howard Stern in Los Angeles and a few other unfortunate cities: This morning, he's advertising his appearance tonight on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, and offering up ten tickets to listeners who want to sit in the audience to see him go through the motions after crossing the Writers Guild of America picket line. (Remember the days when a ticket to The Tonight Show was a hot commodity? Those were the Carson days.)

Carolla's guest spot is a sign of Leno's difficulty in booking guests during the WGA strike, when most compassionate performers will not cross the line to pimp a product, not to mention Hollywood's disapproval of Leno's decision to continue to write monologues and somehow find scripts for videotaped bits despite his membership in the WGA.

It also indicates that Jimmy Kimmel had his own interests at heart when he created an alliance with Leno against the WGA strike limitations. Kimmel, of course, is Carolla's "rabbi," a CBS radio "comedy" consultant who has been instrumental in keeping Carolla on the air. Now the perennial also-ran is getting his friends and associates on a late night show that actually has some viewers.

As for Carolla? What a hypocrite. The supposed "working stiff," who mocks immigrants on his radio show, Carolla, who last month maneuvered the ouster of co-host Danny Bonaduce after Bonaduce brought the show new life and ratings, plods on toward cancellation with a dull cadre of followerss including the drab Teresa Strasser (who works for the whitewashed syndicated television show based on the corporate porn-pushing gossip site, TMZ.com) and a few other nonpro acolytes.

Shame on the lot of them.

Who is killing the young male heartthrobs who gained fame in controversial gay-themed movies?

Heath Ledger is found dead of an apparent drug overdose in the bedroom of an apartment in New York City, a week after Brad Renfro is found dead of an apparent drug overdose in the bedroom of his apartment in Los Angeles. Both young actors gained acclaim for roles in controversial gay-themed films-- Ledger in the Academy Award-nominated Brokeback Mountain, and Renfro in Apt Pupil, Bryan Singer's Nazi movie that led to lawsuits by underage male extras who claimed they were forced into nudity. Sadly, They Die in Threes, so we await the next Marilyn Monroe-Anna Nicole style death of a young, talented male actor.

Rats! Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences® blows it by snubbing the real Best Picture of 2007-- and one of the best movies ever made

It’s an off-year in more ways than one for the Academy Awards®. The 80th version of the show might be turned into an old fogey scab-ridden clipfest if the Writers Guild of America strike manages to stop the live televised ceremony from taking place, and even if the show does go on with awkward scab-writer Jon Stewart as host, the movies up for Best Picture (that Stewart is probably scab-writing jokes about as we type) constitute a bunch of real downers-- a pregnant 16 year-old, a maniacal killer, a British romance, two-hours-and-thirty eight minutes of Daniel Day-Lewis acting up a storm in the dust, and a serious, ignored George Clooney legal drama— it’s not exactly shaping up into a crowd-pleasing Titanic kind of show.

And the members of the Academy® could have turned things around with one small act of bravery and anti-elitism. All they needed to do was eke out Michael Clayton or Juno, which are nice, well-made movies that-- let’s be serious-- don’t deserve Best Picture at a Canadian film festival nor have a chance of winning the big prize— and slip into the Best Picture competition the film that was surely the Best Picture of 2007, and in fact, one of the Best Movies Ever Made®:

Ratatouille.

Ratatouille, the Pixar flick about the rat who dreams of becoming a world class chef, has been exiled to the “Best Animated Feature of The Year” category—- stuck behind the docos at the kid’s table, along with hipster grim Persopolis and the mundane Surf’s Up (were they thinking of the grimmish Happy Feet from 2006?)-- while its director, Brad Bird, was unjustly ignored in the Directing category (though he nabbed a very deserved nomination for Best Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen).

The last and only animated film to be nominated for Best Picture was Beauty & The Beast in 1991. And as good as the Broadway version was, it doesn’t hold a candle (no pun intended) to the wondrous animation and great script and performance of this landmark in animation and cinema.

Or as A.O. Scott wrote with much more elegance in the New York Times:

"Written and directed by Brad Bird and displaying the usual meticulousness associated with the Pixar brand, 'Ratatouille' is a nearly flawless piece of popular art, as well as one of the most persuasive portraits of an artist ever committed to film. It provides the kind of deep, transporting pleasure, at once simple and sophisticated, that movies at their best have always promised.

'Its sensibility… is both exuberantly democratic and unabashedly elitist, defending good taste and aesthetic accomplishment not as snobbish entitlements but as universal ideals. Like 'The Incredibles,' Mr. Bird’s earlier film for Pixar, 'Ratatouille' celebrates the passionate, sometimes aggressive pursuit of excellence, an impulse it also exemplifies.

'…Perhaps because animation, especially the modern computer-assisted variety, is the work of so many hands and the product of so much invested capital, we are used to identifying animated movies with their corporate authors: Disney, DreamWorks, Pixar and so on. But while the visual effects in 'Ratatouille' show a recognizable company stamp, the sensibility that governs the story is unmistakably Mr. Bird’s. A veteran of 'The Simpsons' and a journeyman writer for movies and television, he has emerged as an original and provocative voice in American filmmaking.

"He is also, at least implicitly, a severe critic of the laziness and mediocrity that characterize so much popular culture. He criticizes partly by example, by avoiding the usual kid-movie clichés and demonstrating that a clear, accessible story can also be thoughtful and unpredictable. 'Ratatouille' features no annoying sidekick and no obtrusive celebrity voice-work…

"Moreover, his basic moral conflict— between family obligation and individual ambition— is handled with unusual subtlety and complexity, so that the reassurances and resolutions of the movie’s end feel earned rather than predetermined.

"And while the film buzzes with eye-pleasing action and incident-- wild chases, hairbreadth escapes, the frenzied choreography of a busy kitchen— it does not try to overwhelm its audience with excessive noise and sensation. Instead Mr. Bird integrates story and spectacle with the light, sure touch that Vincente Minnelli brought to his best musicals and interweaves the tale… with beguiling subplots and curious characters..."

Ratatouille is one of the Best Movies Ever made. It even has Cloud 9 connections: Brad Garrett, the voice of Gusteau, appeared with Paul Rodriguez in The College of Comedy with Alan King; and James Remar, who voiced the character of Larousse, acted in the 1987 Burt Reynolds comedy, Rent-a-Cop-- and that’s just from a quick look…

Incredible! Oscar®'s Best Picture nominees once again have direct connections to Cloud 9!

This morning brings another list of Academy Award® Best Picture nominees and, once again, another list of incredible, amazing connections to Cloud 9, the hilarious 2006 beach volleyball stripper comedy-social commentary starring screen icon Burt Reynolds and written and produced by our pals (and editor) Brett Hudson and Burt Kearns of Frozen Pictures along with Academy Award®-winning producer (The Godfather, Million Dollar Baby) Albert S. Ruddy.

In this bleak, depressing strike-ridden movie season, many in Hollywood have wiled away the time playing the parlor game Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, linking the intense actor to any other actor in the industry through six steps or less. But when it comes to the influential Cloud 9 (with a phenomenal cast also includes Paul Rodriguez, D.L. Hughley, Angie Everhart, Gabrielle Reece, Paul Garito, Gary Busey, Tony Danza and Tom Arnold) the connection to the great ones can be made in one link—or less-- and the phenomenon has brightened up a dreary list of Best Picture noms!

ATONEMENT

Atonement director Joe Wright made his debut with the short called The End. That was also the name of the classic 1978 black comedy that starred and was directed by Burt Reynolds. Atonement star Vanessa Redgrave appeared in the 1992 Merchant-Ivory classic, Howards End with Anthony Hopkins, whose name, clothing and alleged beach house play key plot points in Cloud 9.

JUNO

Star Rainn Wilson starred with Paul Rodriguez in Mario van Peebles’ 2003 documentary/homage to his father, BAADASSSSS! How to Get the Man's Foot Outta Your Ass.

MICHAEL CLAYTON

Michael Clayton star (and Best Actor nominee) George Clooney appeared with Cloud 9 costar Paul Rodriguez on the 2003 TV special, Playboy’s 50th Anniversary Celebration. He also appeared as “Joe” in the 1991 TV series Baby Talk, in which Tony Danza, who appears in Cloud 9, supplied the voice of a baby.

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

Costar Barry Corbin appeared in 1982’s The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, which starred Cloud 9’s Burt Reynolds. On March 7, 2003, Star Woody Harrelson and Cloud 9 star D.L. Hughley shared the panel in the third episode of Season 1 of HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher.

THERE WILL BE BLOOD

Ten years ago, Cloud 9 star Burt Reynolds was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor and won a Golden Globe Award for his role in Blood director Paul Thomas Anderson’s breakthrough film, Boogie Nights.

Cloud 9 stars Burt Reynolds as Billy Cole, a down-and-out conman living in Malibu who hits on the idea of starting a beach volleyball team comprised entirely of strippers! Hilarity most definitely ensues. (See the trailer here.)

Capone heading for a hit in Hollywood

Meet Dominic Capone III, an actor out of Chicago whose bloodline makes him particularly suitable for roles of a certain stature, the same way the Barrymore line made Drew a natural for the Charlie's Angels classics.

Dominic Capone wasn't born in Hollywood or in a suitcase, but on the southside of Chicago, Illinois, where, 80 years earlier, his great uncle Al built the most ruthless and powerful crime empire of all time.

And now, with an identical resemblance to his great-uncle right down to the same suit size, Dom is establishing himself as a fine working actor who's even portrayed the original Scarface in the acclaimed series, "The Real Untouchables," along with other high-profile roles-- including a mobster turn R. Kelly's endless Trapped In The Closet video soap opera (Chapter 21) and even some surprising non-Mob jobs that demonstrate his range.

Our bigtime movie producer pal Keith Walker turned us on to 32-year-old Dominic Capone as a top talent to watch out for in 2008. And Keith should know. The Hollywood veteran has set himself up in Atlanta, where he's producing some top projects including Lynch Mob, "a horror movie with a Mob twist."

Dr. Ruehl takes on the New World Order

For those of you who know Tabloid Baby pal, contributor and columnist Dr. Franklin Ruehl, Ph.D. as a benign Mr. Wizard, successful Hollywood actor, UFOlogist, cryptozooologist, anomalyst, legendary cult TV personality and horror & sci fi movie expert, prepare yourself for the dark side of the good Doctor's practice, in his new role as conspiracy expert.

Over at Video Jug, the online library of professionally-produced videos that strives to become an online "encyclopaedia of life," Dr. Ruehl is offering a two-hour conspiracy symposium called "New World Order":

"We live in a world of presidents, queens and dictators. But who really has the power? Some conspiracy theorists believe that a New World Order is upon us - and that Bilderbergs, freemasons, Illuminatis and other shadowy groups may be meeting this very moment to decide your fate. Dr. Franklin Ruehl details the conspiracy theories surrounding the New World Order, so you can decide who you think is calling the shots on the world stage."

The scope of Dr. Ruehl's individual lectures is awesome and frightening:

The Bilderberg Group
Skull and Bones
The Trilateral Commission
New World Order
The Illuminati Freemasons

He also weighs in on 911 conspiracy theories, CIA mind control, assassinations and, of course UFOs-- not always supporting, but explaining it all-- except for the UFOs, which he does believe in.

Which leads us to one conspiracy theory-- one that resonates particularly in this Presidential election year-- we'd like to see the good doctor tackle despite all it inherent controversies:

Who killed Sonny Bono?

To be continued...

Why didn't the cruel TMZ mock the deaths of Suzanne Pleshette & Bobby Fischer?

So why did the scat queens at the corporate porn-pushing gossip site TMZ.com back off on the flip cruelty when reporting on the painful death of lovely actress Suzanne Pleshette this morning? The giddy boys and dull copywriters at the Time Warner/AOL operation had been on a real roll when it came to making light and making fun of the passings of the accomplished when it suddenly switched gears, playing it as straight as might be possible in the towel-snapping West Hollywood clubhouse. Was it Ms. Pleshette's perceived classiness? Does one of the TMZ gang assume her identity in the Halloween Parade? Or was it something else?

In any case, something put the brakes on the crude cruelty, the most recent cycle of which began on Friday when the site that's brought entertainment coverage to uncharted Danteesque circles offended many beyond their comfort zone when sports fans caught wind that TMZ had announced the death of former NFL team owner Georgia Frontiere's death with the pithy headline:

Frontiere Kicks It

That posting followed the report on her hospitalization and turn for the worse:

NFL Owner Gets Two-Minute Warning

While sports radio commentators were expressing disgust at the lack of taste and compassion, the TMZ boys topped themselves the next day with a headline about the death of Brentwood resident Allan Melvin, who played Sam The Butcher on The Brady Bunch:

Sam the Butcher to the Deep Freeze

The indifference and lack of compassion must have so impressed the AOL Time Warner executives that word apparently went out later in the day to find some other elderly celebrity death to make fun of. So yesterday afternoon, TMZ reached back more than a week, to the death of Carl's Jr founder Carl Karcher on January 11th-- all for the headline

Carl at God's Big Drive Thru

So it is puzzling why this morning, the death of Suzanne Pleshette got the comparatively tame pun:

It's Not a Bad Dream: Suzanne Pleshette Dies

What? No "From The Birds to The Vultures"? Why not "Pleshette could have used use a 'new heart'-- and lungs"? Why'd Harvey wimp out?

Then again, maybe we're missing the big story here. Like why did the death of chess genius-turned virulent anti-Semite rate only a

Bobby Fischer dies

headline, and a description of the mad Jew-hating lunatic as "chess prodigy-turned enigma"? Typical lack of historic knowledge, context and smarts?

Or is it a bit of self-hatred?

Harvey?

Who is Mike James of News Blues and why is he saying those terrible malorodous things about us?

News Blues is a gossip, news and job posting site targeted at folks in the local news industry. Every week they post a picture of another local news bimbette in a section called "Lookers," and every day they link to mainstream news stories about local news personalities while, or as they say on the site, "aggregating tasty news gossip since 1998" and charging money to subscribe and see the tastiest stuff.

It's a place for local newsfolk to settle scores, feed the rumour mill, and maybe get noticed by a talent agent, headhunter assistant news director in a market a couple of notches up on the food chain. We've contributed a story or two to News Blues and have even subscribed to the site in the past when work called for it.We've had no problems with News Blues and could only assume they had no problems with us. So imagine our surprise when we came upon another tasty media site called Chickaboomer and found this quote:

"Our newest favorite website is Soup Cans.
Not to be confused with

the mean-spirited Chickaboomer

or the equally malodorous Tabloid Baby."

--Mike James, News Blues

Malodorous? We looked it up to be certain we should be insulted. And sure enough:

The dictionary gave us

mal o dor ous |malˈōdərəs| adjective  smelling very unpleasant.

The thesaurus:

malodorous  adjective  several tenants in the building had complained about the malodorous apartment on the second floor FOUL-SMELLING, evil-smelling, fetid, smelly, stinking (to high heaven), reeking, rank, high, putrid, noxious; informal stinky, funky; literary noisome, mephitic. See note at ODOROUS.
ANTONYM fragrant.

Malodorous? What's up this News Blues guy's ass?

Chickaboomer is a pretty funny website. Nothing malodorous or foul-smelling about it that we can tell. And us? We sent an email to this Mike James of News Blues (the site says he's a former TV sportscaster who left television in 1980, and his email address is "surly editor"--how Lou Grant), and after getting confirmation that he had said such a stinky thing about us, asked:

Why would you call our site "malodorous"?

What have we done to offend you or what has appeared on our site that would deserve such an insult?

Is it our criticism of TMZ?

Support of striking writers?

Revelation that Tom Brokaw doesn't write his books?

And if we are so malodorous, why do you link to our stories?

Explanation please.

Mike replied:

I don't know you, and I don't have anything against you or your site.

My opinion, when reading it, is that you are carrying out some sort of personal vendetta against certain entities. That you let it get in the way of your writing. I don't know the history or background.

I just know that it soils what otherwise might be a witty and viable blog. I think we all have to be very careful not to let our opinions get in the way of reportage. Attitude is admirable. Constant haranguing is tiresome and unproductive.

That's my opinion. I expressed it once... and I won't continue to batter you on my website.

We thanked Mike for his reply and informed him that we're not a simple news site, but a forum for commentary, criticism and satire. We didn't call him a pompous deluded blowhard wanker who in the recent past hasn't found our site too malodorous to link to or steal from, or point out that it's pretentious to include in your bio that you were nominated by your employer for a Pulitzer Prize you didn't win, but we did remind him that Ray Richmond, the well-respected television columnist for The Hollywood Reporter, recently praised Tabloid Baby for being "succinct, courageous" and "telling it like it is."

As for future battering, we urged-- and urge-- Mike to bring it on and keep it up!

We love the publicity.

Wanker.

Galina is looking for love in all the wrong place

We've been getting lots of unsolicited emails in the Tabloid Baby mailbox recently. Most are hawking Viagra or penis extensions (a hint?), but others are real surprises, like our £1,000,000.00 (One Million British Pounds Sterling) win in the UK Lottery and chance to get millions more by helping transfer funds from Africa. But this morning's unsolicited email was the most touching. And unexpected. We're taken, so we'll pass her on to you:

Hello!!

Please do not be surprised to my letter. I saw your profile on "Yahoo.Personals" or "Date.com". I want to learn more about you. And I want to write you a letter. I see that you are good and sexual man. I want to know you better and more close. Probably you are the man of my dream. I think that in our world everything is possible. Do you agree? I want our acquaintance proceeded. Probably we can create something big?

I will tell you more about myself. I am a usual woman. I am 30 years. My birthday on 12/1/77. I live in the city of Sankt-Petersburg. It is the second city in Russia. I think that you know this city. I live together with parents. My mum is on the state pension. My father works as the main mechanic. I am the only daughter of my parents. I have no brothers or sisters.

I work in transport firm. I am the bookkeeper. Also I am an assistant to the Chief accountant. I like my work. Unfortunately I have small salary. But money are not important for me. The main thing for me love and happiness. I want to be frank with you in the letters. I have no secrets before you. I search for the real love forever. I believe that happiness exists. And I search for the real love and the real happiness. There are a lot of men and women who searches love and happiness. There are a lot of people in the world alone. In each country there are lonely hearts which search for love. There are a lot of women and men search for love in the Internet. Many find love. Second half. Many have mistakes and disappointments. Unfortunately, in the Internet there is a deceit. I read about it in the newspaper. It is sad. I become frank with you and I ask you that you were fair. Honesty and trust are very important in love. It is important for me and for you. No games. Only serious relations. I trust that love is the most important in the world.

Probably you have a question. Why I search for the man in America? Probably, you want to ask? I belive that for love and happiness there are no barriers My girlfriend advised me to search for a man in America. We are friends since the childhood. We studied at one school. We lived in the next houses earlier. Our parents were amicable families. My girlfriend lives in America during this moment. The city of New York. Recently she could not think of that she begins to live in America. But now she lives in America. She has found american man. She has found love in the Internet. She has found the man and love. She has left for America to the man. They are husband and wife now. They are very happy together now. Her husband has good firm and business. Good money. I am glad that my best girlfriend is happy during this moment. Very very joyfully. My girlfriend has suggested me to search for love in the Internet. In America. Be possible I can be happy together with american man? Probably my love waits for me in America? I think that the most essential in a life to love a man. I will do my man the most happy.

I can arrive to USA at any time. I have visa to arrival in the USA. My girlfriend will pay for my travel to the USA. She will give me money that I could arrive to America. I do not ask you for money. Also my girlfriend promised to give me better work. The good salary. I will not have problems for a life in USA.

For what man do I search? I search kind and careful man. Who can grow fond of me sincerely. And I shall grow fond it of the man. Probably it is you? I shall do my man happy. I believe In love for all life. I am sure that I will find happiness and love. I believe that I can always love the man, for a long time. For what woman do you search? What is your dream? I am very lonely. I have some girlfriends. But I have no close person. I have no beloved. I am tried to search for the man in Russia. Here all men want only entertainments. Men do not wish to have serious relations. I hope that you understand me. I believe that you have learned about me more. I will write about myself more in each letter. I hope that you will answer my letter. it will be very interesting to me learn more about you. I wish to learn you more. It is very interesting to me. I will wait your letter. Your letter will do me happy. Promise, that you answer! I wait for your letter. I am obligatory I will answer. I will send you photos. I wrote the letter to you from the Internet-cafe. I go to the internet-cafe seldom. Usually I use the Internet in public library. I wrote to you the letter from another E-mail. Write to me the answer on my personal E-mail.

Kiss you... Your Galina

my personal e-mail: galina770112v@yahoo.com

Odd. The return address on Galina's email was Dick76@netwheel.com. If you get in touch with her, send us the photo.

George Jones: What Happened?

Music great and Tabloid Baby avatar George Jones is 76 years old and against all odds, alive and well and still on the road with one-night stands booked from now through October and beyond, taking him from Knoxville to places like Tunica, Panama City, Saskatoon, Fort MacMurray, Thunder Bay and French Lick and venues like the Burton Cummings Theater in Winnipeg, The Spirit Lake Casino in Devils Lake, Diamond Jack's, and of course The Ryman Auditorium (meet us in Nashville on May 18th).

After all these years, the Possum is still the same-- except for one thing-- he's got a new look. Have you seen George Jones? He showed up recently with a new picture on our MySpace favorites page that's almost as unrecognizeable as Kenny Rogers-- only not from the knife but the barber's shears-- his aerodynamically amazing flattop pomp is now chopped down and trimmed back and the sharp edges softened enough to make the king look something like mortal.

George Jones old & new

60 Minutes, Charlie Rose & the racial slur

New York city socialite and PBS celebrity apple polisher Charlie Rose is the latest entertainer to win one of the plum jobs at CBS News, joining heavyweights Katie Couric and Anderson Cooper as a storyfronter on 60 Minutes.

It's a grand return to network news for the suave North Carolinian, and in a time of racial sensitivity in the media-- think Imus, Obama, Bob Grant, Al Sharpton and that chick from the Golf Channel-- proof that forgiveness still has a place.

Charlie is beloved by many for his intelligent, probing obsequiousness, and until now had made it as far as 60 Minutes II back in 1999. But we recall the morning when his career almost went up in the flames of racial intolerance.

Although it appears that the Media Ministry of Truth has erased any mention of it from history, the incident took place in the mid 1980s, when Charlie was making his first splash at CBS News as one of the hosts of Nightwatch, the news show that ran from 2 to 6 a.m., five mornings a week (see Tabloid Baby-- its author was a Nightwatch newswriter). Charlie was interviewing a member of the Negro Ensemble Company, when in his distinct Southern drawl, Charlie referred to the group as the "N-gger Ensemble Company."

There was a great uproar in the media. But it was defused after Charlie gathered the news staff and made an impassioned, teary, "I worked for Bill Moyers" apology in the newsroom. He was forgiven and his career went on.

(The name of the interviewee escapes us-- was it Denzel from A Soldier's Play?-- but we do recall his raised-eyebrow reaction in the days to follow. Help, anyone?)

Video: Dr. Ruehl's Realm of Bizarre News

The Realm Of Bizarre News, Episode IV

In any language, it's sweet to be an idiot

ансамбль "Навь" - "Идиотсонг"

Here's an example of the worldwide influence of Neil Innes-- Tabloid Baby's 2007 Artist of The Year, and soon to be seen in Frozen Pictures' film musical, The Seventh Python.

NBC insists: "Brokaw writes his own books!"

The essential Fishbowl LA website got a blast from an NBC flackette hours after they linked to our post this morning about the scholarship NBC is offering in Tom Brokaw's name, noting that Brokaw admitted in the acknowledgments to his latest bookstore release that a huge group of researchers, writers, assistants, journalists, editors and producers-- "Team Brokaw"-- assembles those generational memento gift books that are released periodically in his name.

Jenny Tartikoff (now there's a name that resonates with NBC history) spanked the Fishbowlers:

"Tom Brokaw has written all of his books
and any suggestion otherwise
is categorically untrue."

Re-e-e-a-ally?!

Jenny, the suggestion comes from Tom Brokaw! Noted journalist James Brady exposed the fraud-in-plain-sight on the Forbes site last month:

"Listen to what (Brokaw) says about the work of authoring: "'I had at the ready the best team any author could want. Liz Bowyer, the captain of the team, a tireless and persuasive interviewer; Frank Gannon, suggestions, observations, contributions, encyclopedic knowledge of the '60s; Michael Hill, fact-checker extraordinaire; Meaghan Rudy, now part of the NBC family; and John Balz, who tracked down players, facts, trends and under-reported consequences of the '60s.'

"Phew! Brokaw then thanks computer techies for keeping the machines going, and someone else who keeps in touch with him as he slaves away on the manuscripts 'in the remote regions of Montana.' Additional kudos go to a score of Random House execs and editorial people who helped with the work, as well as to Robin Rolewicz for being able to 'corral the people I interviewed into sending me their personal photographs.' Robin was 'helped in the research effort' by Carol Poticny and Abby Plesser. Tom also praises the people who edited and designed and produced the book, the lawyer who vetted it and so on. But those helpful folk work on every book. I am talking here mostly about NBC staffers and others who don't work in the book biz but were recruited for or volunteered in the Brokaw effort.

"Reading all this, I went back to Greatest Generation. Had he issued similar acknowledgments nine years ago? Yes, right up front. Elizabeth Bowyer yet again, plus a Ph.D. in history named Phil Napoli and Brokaw's research assistant at NBC News, Joan Huang, who had provided the author with 'an unending supply of stories, facts, insights and ideas.' Tommy Fine 'got the project started," Erin O'Connor, 'who runs my NBC life,' was thanked for her work. 'So many ideas came from so many places.' Among those 'places,' Boston columnist Mike Barnicle, authors Stephen Ambrose and Bill Styron, magazine editor Ellen Levine and writer/editor Kurt Anderson, who used to (with Graydon Carter) run Spy.

"Then Brokaw names colleagues at NBC who worked on the parallel TV documentary, also called The Greatest Generation. They incorporated some of Brokaw's stories in the video, but also, one hand washing the other, helped him 'get some of them [stories] on the pages of the book.' Contributions to 'his' book from the TV news side. Is that really writing, or something else?"

Another case of network newspeople lying through their capped teeth? You be the judge. And remember Jerzy Kosinski.

Why not a Howie Mandel scholarship?

Former NBC newsreader Tom Brokaw admits he doesn't really write those best-selling books that are sold under his name, but he's all the news side's got when it comes to gray eminences and as happy to put his name on a scholarship as anything else. NBC is offering two $7,5000 Brokaw grants-- $15,000 total-- to the offspring of some lucky employee, which is a nice enough gesture but not as potentially lucrative as offering a kid a chance to try his or her luck with Howie Mandel on Deal Or No Deal.

Let's be blunt: Seventy five hundred dollars won't pay for books (though it will cover a semester, if not room and board at the University of South Dakota, where Tom matriculated), and we'd think they could fatten the pot a bit. C'mon, NBC, ante up!

MEMO

TO: NBC NEWS/MSNBC EMPLOYEES
FR: Tom Brokaw Scholarship Committee
Applications Are Now Being Accepted for the
Tom Brokaw Scholarship Program
DEADLINE IS MARCH 20, 2008

We are happy to announce that The Tom Brokaw Scholarship Program is now accepting applications.

Applications and more information are available on the intranet here or from Blair Holman in room 308E.

Scholarship: Two awards of $7,500 each will be granted to children of NBC News employees who are high school seniors or graduates and plan to pursue or are pursing, full-time undergraduate or graduate study at an accredited college. Grants are issued on a one-time only basis and are not renewable.

Eligibility: Applicants must be the children of full-time U.S. and/or international NBC News/MSNBC employees who have a minimum of three years employment with NBC News/MSNBC as either:

* Full time NBC News/MSNBC staff or support staff

* Other NBC employees who currently spend the majority of their time supporting NBC News (such as technicians, graphic artists, directors, editors, or make-up artists.)

The children of full-time freelance staff who have worked continuously with NBC News for a minimum of seven years as of the application deadline are also eligible.

Please note: O&O and affiliate news staffs are not eligible.

Please contact... to request an application or with any questions.

Thank you and good luck!

Carrie Ann Inaba is topless, but Leno was naked

Yeah, it's fine to cross the Writers Guild picket lines to do your late night show and in defiance of your union rules and responsibilities, sit in a room and write your own monologue. The country needs it so we can be told that the people running for President are silly. That was the consensus from Bill Maher and Jay Leno, when strike-criticising late night host showed up as guest on the strike-defying host's show last night. When Maher's anti-strike quips proved the perfect set-up for a protester to begin a chant from the audience, he was ready to hit back with some scripted heckler rejoinders-- but Leno shit a brick and threw hastily to a commercial.

The flash of fear and panic on Leno's face was priceless-- a high point that nullified Maher's later praise for writing his own monologues (in defiance of his union-- and who's writing the taped bits?) --and matched only by the segment featuring Bruno and Carrie Ann from ABC's "writerless" Dancing with the Stars and its current spinoff. While Maher carried on a panto with Bruno, the Leno scabs ran a clip explaining, after three seasons of Dancing, who the hell is Carrie Ann Inaba-- she was the pole dancer from one of Madonna's tours-- the topless one with the shaved head.

Brad Renfro when he was arrested on Skid Row

December 22, 2005: LAPD officers arrest actor Brad Renfro, whose film credits include "The Client," during a drug sting on skid row that targeted prospective buyers. Undercover detectives took 14 suspects into custody.

January 15, 2008: Brad Renfro found dead in his home at 25.

Diane & Katie: The latest lies from network news

No wonder people don't believe network news anymore. They lie through their teeth. They lie about their biases. They pretend "anchormen" and "anchorwomen" run their newscasts write their books and blogs and they pretend they don't pay for exclusives or agree to groundrules in exchange for exclusive interviews.

The latest, and by far one of the most egregious whoppers in recent days, comes from Jim Murphy, executive producer of ABC's Good Morning America after his host and personality Diane Sawyer interviewed Katie Holmes about her new movie, without asking anything about the huge news story Holmes is enmeshed in-- the new book by Andrew Morton that says lots of scurrilous things about her husband Tom Cruise and her marriage to him. Sawyer stuck with the fluff questions. Obviously so. Sickeningly so. Corruptly so.

And when asked about it by our pals at the New York Post's Page Six, Murphy insisted "there was no agreement to avoid the touchy subject.

"He told The Post's Don Kaplan he'd planned for the segment to delve into the personal lives of Cruise and Holmes, but after nearly eight minutes of light banter, didn't know when Sawyer was going to get to it and called for the segment to end.

"'It was one of those bad calls on my part,' Murphy said. 'Diane doesn't generally get angry, but was she disappointed in how I handled it, yes.'

"Murphy said Sawyer was going to get into personal issues but, '[she] was looking for the right place to do that. She knew we wanted to be fair and deal with [Holmes' new] movie and she wanted to talk about her life because Diane likes to produce a well-produced segment and bring something special to it when you get somebody that you don't see often on live television - but we had a time issue.'"

Producer takes the fall! How noble! And what a liar! Murphy has worked for network news since he was a teen (he spent the best years of his life in the CBS News fishbowl). He needs to get out there and stop treating the audience like we're stupid. It's obvious to everyone who got to place Katie Holmes in front of a camera agreed in advance not to touch the personal issues. That's how the game is played. We don't mind that GMA made a deal for a softball interview. Sawyer only embarrassed herself. We're just surprised they lied about it.

And while we're at it... one more thing about Tom Cruise and Scientology...

Cruise is featured in a members- only Scientology promo tape getting lots of play- and ridicule- on the Internet today. We say it's interesting. It's strange.

And it's his religion. So lay off the guy!

This was America last time we checked. We've met Cruise a couple of times and he's always been a very nice guy. Same with Travolta.  Whatever gets you through the night, we say. Go after the priests. Or the news networks...

New website features Mark Hudson & his music

The Hudson Brothers comeback continues today with the arrival of a new website dedicated to the work of middle brother Mark Hudson.

MarkHudsonMusic.com is launched the same day that Mark’s latest production, Ringo Starr’s Liverpool 8 album, hits stores and websites. Mark, the incredibly influential producer, songwriter and performer who's been Ringo’s main collaborator and career resuscitator for a decade, cowrote most of the songs, laid down the tracks for Ringo to add his drums and vocals and had the album for release last year—until Ringo got huffy and cut off the partnership when Mark’s television work conflicted with one of Ringo’s All Starr tours. Ringo brought the tapes (files) to Dave Stewart, who added his trademark overgloss to the project and now shares production credit.

Mark, meanwhile, carries on (he's music supervisor of The Seventh Python project) and it’s too bad for Ringo so late in life, since Mark and his fellow musos brought a sense of down-to-earth reality and mateship to guy whose sense of entitlement betrays the fact that he's been used to having his ass tickled with a feather for the past 45 years.

When last heard from, the Mark Hudson pop idol machine was offering a sexy 2008 calendar featuring twelve months of the fabled “weird beard” in various poses. The new MarkHudsonMusic.com website, designed by Keren, includes a shop, blog, news, videos, photos, links and much more. It's a regular musical history tour.

Our favorite part, though, is the homepage which features a mock up of an album cover that is obviously a tribute to our Tabloid Baby icon (above left). The twist: most every face is Mark's.

Dr. Ruehl raises a glass-- of blood-- to Vampira

Tabloid Baby pal, contributor, columnist and Television & Film Personality of 2007, Dr. Franklin Ruehl, Ph.D is also a TV sci fi/horror movie cult figure. Today he pays tribute to Maila Nurmi, also known as Vampira, the glamorous ghoul hostess of late-night fright films in the 1950s who was fittingly found dead in her home last week:

Vampira, A Role Model For Some of Us!
by Dr. Franklin Ruehl, Ph.D.

Flowing locks of raven hair! A skin-tight black gown! Long, sharp, threatening fingernails! Piercing eyes capped by thin black brows! These were the tools that TV legend Vampira employed to both terrify and engage late night TV audiences of the 1950s!

Simultaneously minacious and alluring, Vampira drew viewers who might not otherwise tune into the low-budget horror flicks she was hostessing. Indeed, she was a captivating pioneer in this limited niche, being the very first to present such films on the little silver screen. And, she was an inspiration to other such hosts who would follow in her footsteps, including yours truly. Sadly, she passed away this past Thursday, January 10, in her sleep at age 86.

While, unfortunately, none of Vampira's TV hosting segments was preserved on film (as far as I know), she can be seen (although never heard) in her Vampira role as Bela Lugosi's dead wife throughout Ed Wood's much-maligned sci-fi entry, "Plan 9 From Outer Space."

Vampira was born Maila Syrjaniemi in Petsamo, Finland back on December 11, 1921. That surname was later truncated to Nurmi. Indeed, she was the niece of the renowned multiple Olympic medal runner Paavo Nurmi.

She arrived in the U.S. as an infant, and travelled around the country as her father lectured on temperance.

As an adult, she was performing in Mike Todd's "Spook Scandals" when celebrated director Howard Hawks caught sight of the beautiful blonde, and cast her in the cinematic version of the Russisan novel, "Dreadful Hollow." However, Nurmi walked out on her contract after being utterly disillusioned by repeated production delays. She then tried modelling and dancing, including a long stint with Earl Carroll's revues.

Her breakthrough came when, for a masquerade competition, she costumed herself in the mode of Charles Addams' Morticia cartoon character. Not only did she win 1st prize, but also landed a contract with the local L.A. ABC affiliate channel 7 for a late night hosting gig for the 1954-55 season. Impressively, she was nominated for an Emmy for "Most Outstanding Female Personality, and was profiled in such mags as "TV Guide," "Newsweek," and "Life." Fan clubs sprung up all over the globe as she became a most recognizable figure, making guest appearance at store openings and judging contests. She was dubbed the "Queen of Horror," with songs composed to honor her!

Bela Lugosi was also a fan, and was delighted when she joined him in "Plan 9." Tragically, he died two weeks into production.

Vampira's fame quickly expired after that, with only a few scant film roles, such as in 1959's "Beat Generation" and 1960's "Sex Kittens Go To college.' She did engage in painting, creating some "Vampira" portraits, and made a final screen appearance in 1998's "I Woke Up Early The Day I Died." And Nurmi made some news when she sued Cassandra Peterson, asserting that her "Elvira" characterization was a rip off of "Vampira."

Again, I thank you, Vampira, for your inspiring portrayal, and May the Power of the Cosmos be with You, wherever you may be now!

TMZ likes it on the bottom, from behind

"Criss Angel Likes a Hairy Bush on His Face"
--corporate porn-pushing-gossip site TMZ.com

Corporate porn-pushing gossip site TMZ.com is financed by millions of dollars from Time Warner and AOL, makes sweetheart deals with taxpayer-financed police departments, is cited as an authoritative source by mainstream news organizations too lazy or stretched to put their own reporters on certain show business stories, and who are happy to use its bronzed, buffed, dyed and sculpted little frontman as an expert.

Yet, for all the attention and money paid to the corporate porn-pushing gossip site and whitewashed syndicated television version of the same, the executives behind the TMZ operation either have a problem hiring good writers, or have given the blessing to pornographic postings make the viewer feel dirty just by clicking in. We'd think that now, during the writers' strike, they'd be able to find some experienced wits and wags are in need of a paycheck. Instead, the corporate porn-pushing gossip site has plumbed new depths.

There are reasons why Harvey Levin was named Tabloid Baby's 2007 Journalist of The Year, and they are not good.

Examples? Let's spin through a few headlines from the past twenty four hours:

STORY SYNOPSIS: Former model and reality TV star Janice Dickinson practices yoga by lifting her legs in the air.

HEADLINE:

Janice -- My S**t Don't Stink!

STORY SYNOPSIS: Paris Hilton poses for a Fila photo shoot.

HEADLINE:

Paris Loves It On All Fours

STORY SYNOPSIS: Las Vegas magician Chriss Angel is photographed with a beard.

HEADLINE:

Criss Angel Likes a Hairy Bush
on His Face

All stories credited to "TMZ Staff." Your move.