Bullock's black baby brilliant blindside

This morning brings another example of how and why those Hollywood public relation and image-making firms make the big bucks. Facing post-Oscar® career destruction after the revelations about her Nazi-loving, white supremacist-tattooed lady-banging husband Jesse James and the subsequent false S&M sex tape rumours and darker marital speculation, Duetschland-raised actress Sandra Bullock has resurfaced with a whopper of a comeback: taking a cue from her Academy Award®-winning role and adopting a black baby, finding him in New Orleans, naming him Louis after Louis Armstrong, having the little fella circumcised in a Jewish bris and filing for divorce in one fell swoop-- which changes the headline, puts her in Nicole/Angelina/Madonna class and erases any doubts about her love for all mankind.

Springtime for Sandra Bullock? Or D-Day?

With reports that Jesse James did his silly Hitler imitation at the time he was dating future Oscar®-winning wife Sandra Bullock, we've got ask what the unlikely pair had in common beyond their manufactured images of Everygirl actress and working class reality TV star. In wake of our post this morning on Sandra's German upbringing, at least one news organization that received a link is tiptoeing around the story and hinting that Sandra Bullock may be tarnished by the scandal-- without mentioning the elephant in the room (in much the same way early news coverage of the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson avoided mentioning the interracial marriage-- look it up), which is the fact that she grew up in Germany, speaking German.

Seriously. What would Sandy and Jesse have to talk and laugh about over all those beers they'd throw back together like the ordinary folk we believe them to be?

We don't know the answer. We don't know if Jesse is any more of a Nazi enthusiast than Lemmy. And we don't know if the video above demonstrates a reason for the mutual attraction. We do know that the question will be asked. After all, the news media is known for turning on the ones they build up, and after all the sympathy Sandra's gotten so far, if she does indeed reconcile with her Nazi-cheating spouse, she can expect the worst.

Sandra Bullock is Jesse's German fraulein

While we all wonder what Sandra Bullock would ever have in common with that alleged Nazi-banging creep Jesse James (who's run to rehab now that he's been exposed as a monster who was photographed doing a silly Dick Shawn-Basil Fawlty Hitler imitation), we find it odd that no one we've noticed has mentioned that All-American Sandra grew up as a German girl-- in Germany!

Sandra is the daughter of German opera singer Helga D. Meyer, her grandfather was a rocket scientist from Nuremberg, Germany, and although Sandy was born in Virginia, she lived in Nuremberg until age twelve, where she sang in the opera's children's choir at the Staatstheater Nürnberg. Sandra spoke German as a child and remains fluent in the language.

Not that that counts for anything...

Why was TMZ so late to the story about Sandra Bullock's cheating husband Jesse James? It takes a Rat to know.

We don't like that Sandra Bullock-blindsided-by-Jesse James-and-the-tattooed-stripper lady story much, because Sandy's such a likeable plain jane who spent all that time bearding for Matthew McConaughey and now it's looking like the plum dumb Jesse may have been bearding for Sandy.

And after watching him on Celebrity Apprentice, we really liked believing that Jesse was a sincere and stand-up simple guy. But it's definitely a Hollywood tabloid story! And you'd figure it would be something the nasty conscience-free slugs at the corporate porn-pushing gossip site TMZ.com would be all over, sliding in the hot oiled jealousy and grappling in the celebrity embarrassment takedown behind their shaved bronzed midget frontman.

But they're not.

While even the LA Times splooged with stories about Oscar curses as it avoided the Tom Cruise elephant in the room, the gutter site has been tiptoeing around the story the same way they ignored Owen Wilson's troubles. Heck, the subliterate slugs even ran a pathetic diversionary story this morning about Jesse's missing dog.

Why such sympathy for the villain? Why the sidestepping cowardice?

Is it because the Bullock movie The Blind Side is distributed by Warner Bros., which owns TMZ?

Is it the McConaughey connection?

Or just the standard oh-bitch-pleez TMZ immorality and corruption?


Tabloid Baby pal The Big Cheese at the independent, entertaining, infiltrating news and gossip site Rumor Rat has the exclusive story.

Read it here.

And keep writing your own comments, Teemzers.

UPDATE: Just how pathetic and paltry is TMZ's coverage of this major scandal? Click here to read Rumor Rat's analysis and comparison with the work by the pros at RadarOnline.