Lesbian Leifer outed by LA's best gossip column

Carol Leifer is a lesbian! We never think about Carol Leifer, and never in any sexual way. We’ve just known her as the female stand-up comic who was best known for being Jerry Seinfeld’s ex-girlfriend, and who was supposedly the model for the “Elaine” character on his TV series.

We always considered Seinfeld to be a “gay sitcom,” portraying the life of the tidy urban homosexual and his small circle of friends, but we never for a moment would think that the saucy Elaine was actually a sister of Sappho. Carol Leifer, who’d write and produce for Seinfield and other shows, was a broad, one of the gals who’s one of the guys.

But now, as far as we know, she’s been outed-- outed as a lesbian who lives with a female partner named Lori, with whom she's bought a new house to make room to adopt a baby boy.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. It just leads to a more important story.

Because we didn’t read this nugget in The Enquirer or a column by Michelangelo Signorile, or even The Advocate. No, this piece of television gossip is in today’s LA Times, on page one of the Real Estate section, lead story of the Hot Property celebrity real estate transaction column.

Sorry, Defamer. Hot Property is the best gossip column in Los Angeles.

Today alone, we learn that Sharon Stone is flipping a house she bought in April for 11 million dollars-- on impulse... Nancy Davis, daughter of former 20th Century Fox owner Marvin Davis, and mother of fat sweatball Brandon Davis (who launched that pornographic tirade against poor Lindsay Lohan), has put her Bel Air mansion on the market for just under $30 million (and isn’t she involved in a family feud?)...Ed McMahon may be preparing for the end, selling his home at age 83... and a 19-year-old kid who stars on the Showtime series "Weeds" has become a first-time home buyer with a $595,000 condo.

Hot Property is matter-of-fact, all exclusive, privacy-invading, and trumps the paper's Calendar section and related blogs. There's a reason we told the kids that Hot Property was a must-read when we helped in the ill-fated relaunch of A Current Affair. Mike Walker and People magazine would pay for these scoops like this.

Which raises more questions: Are there any heterosexual comediennes out there? Do they start out as straight, but turn to the fairer sex because they’ve taken so much abuse in relationships with male comics? Keep an eye on Sarah Silverman. And discuss among yourselves.