Harvey Levin bends over for Gene Simmons

We haven’t wasted much space lately on the corporate porn-pushing gossip site TMZ.com, and especially not its inconsequential whitewashed, boy-beatifying syndicated television version, figuring we'd leave it up to their corporate overlords at Time Warner and AOL and their wives to cluck with pride over the site headlines like the ones over past day or so:

J.Lo Finally Pops Out A Pair… a Boy and Girl!

You Must Be This Tall to Ride Ms. Zeta-Jones

Bette Gets the Clap in Vegas

African Men Like Bush

Siegfried & Roy Do Bette Midler

Amy to Stranger - Sure I'll Put You In My Mouth

Paris -- Any Pole Will Do

Ride Me Tate Donovan!

Gary Dourdan -- Douchebag of the Year?

Brit's Vajayjay Takes Its Daily Stroll

Anyway, you get the idea. What caught our eye this morning was TMZ's first mention of that Gene Simmons sex tape that hit the Internet earlier this week.

And not because the post was given the clever, droll and very hip headline:

Gene Simmons to Sex Site: Suck My Copyright!

TMZ reports, without mentioning the historical precedent, that Gene is fighting the company that's selling, by claiming copyright ownership-- much as Poison frontman and Tabloid Baby pal Bret Michaels did with the sex tape he made years ago with Pamela Anderson.

With its usual mealy-mouth hypocritical cowardly, the website that has for years pitched, teased, named, advertised, pushed and directed readers to sales sites for celebrity porn tapes, notes with uncharacteristic modesty:

“
BTW, the tape was shot without Simmons' permission or knowledge -- and may well be illegal. That's why TMZ hasn't run it.”

That's why TMZ hasn't run it? Does anyone believe that? Does anyone believe these jealous, hateful revenge queens who send amateurs with cel phone cameras to chase unstable young women in traffic and ambush hard-working celebrities give a toss about someone's right to privacy? The real reason is more likely twofold (and that’s not counting the fact that Gene is over 21).

Reason #1: Gene had his lawyers send TMZ and other sites a cease-and-desist letter so threatening that, to use the TMZ parlance, Harvey Levin probably shit his pants. No way would the former lawyer stand up to the threats in the name of free speech, as Nick Denton and Gawker did when the Scientology legal team tried to stop their posting of the Tom Cruise tape or, in the case of the Simmons video, the much less powerful gossip site Valleywag.com, which posted the Simmons’ lawyers letter and this response:

"The short clips we posted are newsworthy and will not be taken down."

The second reason TMZ isn’t running the and promoting the Gene Simmons sex tape is more obvious: TMZ doesn’t have a money deal with the sellers of the tape. No one’s getting a kickback.

Note: Though the brave TMZ team credits most all of its offensive postings to “TMZ staff,” one individual is being hung out to dry. The TMZ site now “credits” Gillian Sheldon as “TMZ.com supervising producer.” Harvey Levin’s name is nowhere to be found, though his obsessions are everywhere.

Who is Gillian Sheldon? Is he or she a real person? Help our Tabloid Baby investigation by sending a picture or bio.