Adam Carolla is the new Heather Mills

Ha! Don't we have a lot of influence! From Harvey Levin to Heather Mills, offensive media figures only seem to rise in stature and success after they cross the Tabloid Baby radar screen and become the subjects of our howling warnings into the wind! The latest recipient of the inverse effects of our inveighing is the boorish and boring morning radio "host" Adam Carolla. The egomaniacal mediocrity who's punished LA radio listeners with his repetitive, elongated dronings for more than two years now since he was sadistically given Howard Stern's morning show, has just ben handed a gig on a popular reality TV series and is probably on his way to mainstream stardom despite of-- hey, more likely because of-- our attentions!

Carolla's ties to mentor and business partner Jimmy Kimmel got him the radio show and have kept him on the air. Now the Kimmel connection has paid off once again, as Carolla's been selected as one of the competitors in the sixth season of ABC's Dancing with The Stars (Kimmel, ABCs late night host, does comedy segments on the series). And just as producers referred to Season Four competitor Mills, best known as a one-legged former porn model and alleged prostitute and Paul McCartney nemesis, as a "charity campaigner," so is Carolla named in production notes as a "TV and radio personality." Sure, the Dancing contestants are a mangy brood of D-list wannabes, has beens, never wases and never heard ofs, but they do tend to get more work from the gig. And though we wonder how Carolla's homophobic fratboy fanbase will handle the news (our guess is that he'll cast himself in the "nimble boxer" role that Evander Holyfield and Floyd Mayweather held in past seasons), at this point, we're betting on Larry Baras becoming the next commissioner of Major League Baseball. That's just how influential we are, and how much our opinion counts.