Tuesday, June 13, 2006

The Ballad of Heather Mills & Patti Petite















With porny shots and risqué revelations multiplying faster than our crack staff could post them, we began to feel sorry for Paul McCartney’s naughty and nasty estranged Heather Mills. Almost.

Until we Googled “one-legged porn starlet” and happened upon the sad story of poor Patti Petite.

From 1985 to 1988, Patti was a very active porn star, blazing her way through dozens of X-rated films and videos like A Star Is Porn, Behind The Back Door, Bi & Large and Best of Rambone (titles that surely edge out the Sun's “Strawberry Feels Forever” and “Abbey Rude”).

According to the lively Excalibur Films website, Patti, like Heather Mills, “was one of the most rough and ready of all the 80's porno strumpets” and “a tenacious sexual athlete.”

Like Heather, her “…blonde hair framed a striking face, a vivacious visage whose sensual leers could raise the dead.”

Like Heather in her photo shoots, and allegedly in her relations with old Beatle Paul, “Patti always brought tons of full-throttle energy to her on-screen sexing… Her passion and enthusiasm were palpable, and she especially liked it when things were at their wildest…”

And tragically, like Heather, Patti Petite’s sexy shoot paydays were cut short, when in 1988, “she got into a car wreck while driving with fellow pornstress Tiffany Lane. Tiffany Lane died in the carnage, while Patti Petite was so severely injured that she had to have a leg amputated. The loss of her limb also proved to be the loss of her carnal career, as there was little call for a one-legged porn starlet at that time.”

Five years later, porny model Heather Mills would lose a leg when she was hit by a motorcycle cop while crossing the road!

But what a difference a few years, some brains, ambition, imagination and a lonely old recently-widowed ex-Beatle make. Heather would find the loss of her limb only helped in her walk to fame and fortune, leading to a career as a serious spokesmodel, and in fact posing no hindrance-- and according to some tabloid accounts may indeed have added some spice-- to her relationship with and eventual marriage to Paul McCartney.

All this, despite another bizarre coincidence: Leggy Mountbatten, manager of Neil Innes’ legendary Beatles parody group, The Rutles, “had lost a leg in the closing overs of World War Two!”

Heather, it could have been worse. Join Tabloid Baby in lifting a legful to Patti Petite, porn star-- the kind of the girl who makes the News of The World, years before Heather Mills.

22 comments:

  1. Patti still has both of her legs.

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  2. You can read about Patti in Chicago here:

    http://subgeniusslack.blogdrive.com

    I don't know who anonymous is but I have a feeling he is mixing her up with the NEW porn star that uses her name.

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    1. No he's not mixing your up with anybody she has both her legs. I am her sister and I'm pretty sure I would know if she was missing both her legs. My name is Beth

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  3. All three of you are wrong! According to lukeisback.com, Patti Petite was last seen living in West Los Angeles and living an anonomous life.

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    1. I don't know last I knew my sister was with me just a month ago and she walked into my house and she didn't walk on her hands! My sister has both are fucking legs okay everybody? Good grief! This is Beth my sister is Patty and she has both legs supposed to need both of shins both her ankles Bowser heels both her feet and the ten toes. That should end it okay?

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    2. It is 3-2021 and Patti still has both her legs. This is her sister Beth and we are going to a birthday party on Sat. Plan on doing a lot of DANCING!! Now stop with the missing leg bullshit!

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  4. Last I heard Patti was cutting hair in Northern California. She still has both of her legs.

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  5. I knew Patti Pettit (and her sister) back in the 80's. I last saw her in Healdsburg, CA around 1990. She told me she was waiting tables and living with her parents. She looked fine to me aside from a plethora of tattoos. And yes, the girl could sing!
    Suzi B.

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  6. Well she had no tattoos in Chicago (or in her porn videos), the LUKE IS BACK site says she was one legged,so I guess with all this conflicting info who knows what she is doing now.

    You can read about her here:
    http://subgeniusslack.blogdrive.com/archive/47.html

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  7. I used to live with her sister. Patti did not lose a leg in a car wreck.

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  8. I knew Patti Petite when she lived behind the 8 ball bar in Cotati Ca. around 1990. She was a dancer, yes Dancer at a strip club on Santa Rosa Ave called "everybody's talking". She did have a great voice and she also could dance very well, high kicks and everything. Both legs were intact and not a scar on her entirely naked body. She was a beauty and fun to talk to, always a huge smile and great attitude. I'm not gonna say where she lives now. We were friendly aquaintances, I don't want her bothered by weirdos.

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  9. getriecI knew Patty real well in Santa Rosa...she sang for my band Leaps and Bounds for a few months until it all went haywire..lol...I remember her very well..talk about her all the time.

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    1. I had the pleasure of seeing your band and Patty singing it way back in the day in Cotati. I hope you still have a band. I ended up doing the same thing and becoming the lead female vocalist of a group called Last Call been with them 20 years

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  10. If anyone is still in touch with Patti Petite please tell her that Keli Richards from the Adult Film Industry is looking for her. We had so much fun and I miss her. Ask her to hit me up on Twitter. Thank you.

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  11. Well I think I can end this mystery. Period. My name is Beth petite (Iwont be using my last names CORRECT spelling)and I am Patti's older sister. just saw her yesterday walking around on BOTH legs.She refused to film when industry wouldn't uphold MANDATORY AIDS TESTING! Thats it, thats all.Im proud of her and the stand she took! THANKS TO PATTI PETITE many lives were probably saved because of her unselfish act.They wrote her out of her career like they do soap opera stars!

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  12. This message is for Beth Petite. My name is Keli Richards I worked and lived with your sister. I have been looking for her. I was hoping to reconnect with her but I didn't know where she lived. We had so much fun. I miss her. If you could pass this message along that I love her and miss her. My email k3li.richards@gmail.com.

    Thank you

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  13. Patty does whatever she can to avoid being in touch with things and people from the past. But I am going to pass on your message K. Richards

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  14. Hey, from what I recalled with Patti she was really nice, too bad her sister if you really are don't follow her sister's lead. look, first off no one wants to stalk your 70 year old wash up has been porn star. just some fans here are curious to know how she's doing. not hear some Anonymous cunt of a sister talk shit about everyone who post here. Her missing a leg has been a ongoing rumor since 1988 through out the adult industry, it had to start from some one at some point, maybe you sister put it out, in order to leave the porn business behind? maybe not. I serious doubt you are her sister, just a troll, trying to muddy up the info that's already out there. If you really are her sister ask her do an interview with the rialto report, they are a respectable podcast who deal with former adult film stars.

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